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Confused, frustrated and hurt.


justagirl
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Alright, well I'm 18 years old. I have been single my whole life, I've never been on a date, I've never had a boyfriend and I've never been kissed. Most people tell me I'm lucky and they wish they were in my position. unfortunately I don't see the positive side in where I'm at. I know I'm young and I have plenty of time to date and so on. But I don't understand what the problem is. I have many guy friends and I get along great with people. I am at the point where I'm really frustrated with being single. It really is no fun when no one wants to go out with you. I seriously feel like something is wrong with me! I'm always told: nothing is wrong with me, its them, they know I'm not a short term thing, they don't want the kind of commitment I do and so on. But a date never hurt anyone right? I get out often, I go to places where lots of people are at, I'm always smiling and having a great time, so its not like I'm scary to confront and talk to. I see all these people on dates, or with their significant others and it hurts because it makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong or what is wrong with me. It just confuses me. I don't understand it and I hate the feeling of being helpless to whats going on in my own life. I seriously feel like I have no control over it. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to be single for the rest of my life, I know thats over exaggerating but sometimes my mind can't help it. I dont know..I needed to vent. Any advice or anything anyone would like to say feel free to give it to me. I'm open for whatever you've got. Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.

~*Justagirl*~

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Hello justagirl

 

tell ya the truth I dont know whats wrong either, seems your doing everything about right, gotta be something missing here. I could guess all day and not get it right.

 

I do agree with some of your friends in that most peeps your age are just looking for a good time and nothing long term, some guys probably see you as the serious type, and think they wont have a chance to "score".

 

Although its said that guys are the ones that make the first moves, guess what, thats not really true in most occasions, its the girls that give the openeing for that first move, a little flirting can go a long way, if you seem approachable, then guys will come.

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it's quite simple really. the guys you know, know you have a long term commitment sign on both your front and back. most girls just sort of fudge the sign (30 days free trial or money back guarantee)

 

once the guy is hooked, they have all the time in the world to change date to commitment to marriage

 

so just tell the guys, it's open season. winner takes all (of you).

 

i mean, really just sit down and tell people about how you have no one to go for a really hot date, and you're 18 and lonely.

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I feel like I should just give up, like the more I am interested in a guy the worse luck I have. I feel that if I just stop feeling things for guys and put up my walls again, I'd be better off. I know some people may think "oh shes overreacting, she has no reason to think like this, shes never been hurt"...problem is, I've been hurt many times, it may not be the same hurt as a breakup, but it still hurts, very bad. I honestly feel like I'm not "likeable." I meet these totally amazing guys, we become good friends and than thats it. All I am is the friend. I love being their friend, don't get me wrong, but it'd be nice for once to be thought of as the "girlfriend." I like this awesome guy right now (read "falling for my friend" if interested)...but I am so lost on what to do. I don't want to mess anything up, but I feel like I'm helpless and that since I'm not "likeable" or something, that I'd be wasting his time in telling him how I feel. I actually cried tonight...I don't usually cry, ever. I cried because I don't understand what is so wrong with me that I'm not liked. I don't understand why this has to be so hard...... I'm so lost.

~*Justagirl*~

 

p.s: I don't walk around showing that this is how I feel. I walk around like nothing is wrong and life is perfect. I don't let people know that being in my situation does get me down sometimes.....This post would be one of those times...sorry

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lots of girls/women are in your situation. i should know, cos i am a guy. and i never have a single clue a girl likes me more than just as a friend, unless she does something about it (like tell me directly. anything less, i don't get it.).

 

so if you keep on refusing to give hints, then some of the guys that should have been yours, will end up caught by other women.

 

it's not flirting, cos you are not advertising yourself to everyone. but showing real interest in just one guy. if you are friendly to all the guys, then the guy you want won't get it. so withdraw from the rest, and give your guy some hints, and try and get him in a one-on-one situation (like private tuition) or being in the same activity/group so that he can appreciate you better

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