need some advice

[miss_princess00]

well its been about 3 months since me and my ex broke up....i miss him terribly...there was one point where i felt i had gotten over him and that i was happy...now i miss him more than ever...i cry myself to sleep everynight now and i dont kno why... i can not control it feel so depressed with him not in my life...all of my friends say to try to talk to him but everytime i do he starts an argument

 

is there anyway i can talk to him and basically just let everything out...cuz i havent gotten any closure and i feel this is the reason why i feel like crap...what should i do...i feel so lost and depressed

 

thanks for the help

[HajiMaji]

Not having closure is very difficult. I will tell you this though, I went through a relationship where my ex gave me closure, and it didnt really even "feel" like closure. It sort of comes from within durring break ups. NC for a long enough time will make you feel like you have closure. No matter what he says it wont help you.

 

Sometimes durring breakups we feel like we are doing well, when in reality we arent. Sometimes we focus on the good in our lives to such a high extent just so we dont have to focus on the bad. Sooner or later though, it comes back to bite ya.

 

Additionally, sometimes in break ups we go through genuine times of "being ok" followed by "regression times" where we feel sappy and miss the ex and feel heart broken all over again. All this is normal. Each step forward ultimately hurts.

 

Its ok to cry yourself to sleep. Its ok to not be able to control it. Its ok to feel depressed without him in your life. These feelings are part of the process. The important thing is to recognize them as how you feel. It sucks though, in every way. It is very difficult. I promise things will pass. I was in a really rough spot. I wanted no more than to be dead. I woke up crying everyday, cried every day on the way home from school, and cried myself to sleep. That was a lot of crying everyday. It lasted for me about 3 weeks, but it felt like about 300 years. Im not happy now. I dont even really like my life, but its all an extension of losing something so dear. You will be ok when you get through this. Just hang on and let time work its magic.

 

P.S. The reason I suggested NC for closure is basically because after enough time passes without contact from him, your mind and soul sort of realizes he is not a part of your world anymore; he doesnt exsist. Your mind will set him in a categoy that can comfortably be in your brain for the rest of your life. This has happened to me with my ex from 3 or 4 years ago who gave me absolutely no closure. Didnt even call me to say its over... Thats very non closureish.

[miss_princess00]

wow...that was actually quite helpful and i appreciate your help....i just feel so lost and hurt ..i thought i was ok but i guess im not and i hate how time is so slow....i dont like crying myself to sleep cuz it just takes so much energy out of me....i try to meet new people and all but its just not the same anymore...and i have tried NC but it does not work very well...for example last night i emailed him...erghh i try so hard to get my mind off of it but then it just comes back to haunt me ....=(