Am I already too late?

[nosense]

After 5yrs in relationship then ample time spent spent single after the tough breakup, I finally ask this girl out. I told her from the start, I didnt want to get in to anything too deep. I am a nice guy so I have taken her to lunch since, brought her a coffee at work and watched a few movies, blah,blah,blah. Now after 5 days, she kisses me everytime I see her and lots of physical contact etc. We start making out last night, I reluctantly left to go home, despite her efforts to get me to stay. Question, is she already thinking we're together or an item so to speak? And would I be considered cold hearted to lay it out there and be honest that I dont want to be tied down yet, but if she still wants to sleep together, Im game?

[Atticus90]

Seems like she's moving a little to fast.

 

You're not being cold hearter. If you're simply not ready, then you're not ready. Takes time to get over someone. Take all the time you need. You should just remain friends with this girl and try to enjoy it

[ghost69]

sounds like she wanted to get it on with you. she likes you. doesn't sound like she is attached as a gf. maybe you need to clarify what you are with her.

[downward spiral]

Just tell her. Better to tell her then lead her on. I mean, say you say nothing and in 3 months you are fooling with someone else and she finds out. She will be hurt. If you tell her that you are not so sure about being serious right now, that you are enjoying your freedom and you dont want to give her the wrong idea. If She stays and you get some, GREAT... If she says, she wants a serious guy, then you know and no one is hurt.. BE HONEST>

[Beec]

I think you can do it, but I think you had better be careful and be ready to set some ground rules.

 

I would begin by telling her, that you like her, you're interested, you have fun with her, but you are not ready for anything serious. Now, if you want to sleep with me, well (look her up and down, and then add some emphais to your next words) YES, YOU'RE INTERESTED, but I'm not ready to be Mr. Committment yet. So, keep that in mind. And drop it at that/ You told her where she stands, done.

 

Let her ask some questions, be honest, and if she wants to know that the sex is exclusive between the two of you, agree to it.

[PeanutButter]

she wants a relationship badly, shes moving way too fast and shes trying to lock you down. tell her how you really feel, that you don't want to be in a relationship. mostly likely she will get upset and leave.

 

saying, "if ya still want to sleep together im game." can be taken as:

 

1. friends with benefits

2. shes a skank-- oh and so are yooh!

3. ehh i dont see ya as relationship type no matter what i say that i dont want one *girls are idiots*

4. yer rude, later.

[nosense]

she wants a relationship badly, shes moving way too fast and shes trying to lock you down. tell her how you really feel, that you don't want to be in a relationship. mostly likely she will get upset and leave.

 

saying, "if ya still want to sleep together im game." can be taken as:

 

1. friends with benefits

2. shes a skank-- oh and so are yooh!

3. ehh i dont see ya as relationship type no matter what i say that i dont want one *girls are idiots*

4. yer rude, later.

 

Thanks for the replies, much appreciated. But let me get this right. To get in the sack and get a few humanly needs taken care of, I either have to be a skank as well as her, only friends with benefits, or in a full blown tied down relationship? This is exactly what Im getting at. Do most women just jump right into commitment after sleeping together if they have the option? And also shy would this be rude?

[ghost69]

Thanks for the replies, much appreciated. But let me get this right. To get in the sack and get a few humanly needs taken care of, I either have to be a skank as well as her, only friends with benefits, or in a full blown tied down relationship? This is exactly what Im getting at. Do most women just jump right into commitment after sleeping together if they have the option? And also shy would this be rude?

 

yeah, a lot of women think that sex = love/relationship.

[brandnew1]

agreed. i wont sleep with someone until i am in a committed relationship but i feel like im in the minority these days. who knows, maybe she is after the same thing. you could ask her.