renaissancewoman101 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 This is the thread that tells the background of this issue: Now this morning I wake up to a text message from him saying "have a great day sweete". It's as though he never got my text messages from yesterday which WERE in response to a text message he sent me yesterday morning. Should I ask him about those text messages? Or just leave it alone? Just a bit puzzled. Stuff like this makes me realize how much I HATE TEXTING!!!!
JadedStar Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Yeah Texting sucks. SInce he likes this mode of comms that is fine, but when it comes to meeting up i suggest just calling to confirm "in person". That will clear up all confusion.
luvursmile Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 maybe he didnt get your text? It happens sometimes. I would ask him, just to be on the safe side. Just say someting like, "I thought we were gonna hang out last night" or something along those lines. If he didnt get your text, he might be thinking you didnt respond to him (i.e. ignored him or not interested). I dont see the harm in asking.
renaissancewoman101 Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 I'm thinking he might have thought that way. I'll text him back later. Thing is I am not really that into him, but what happened yesterday feels kind of like a "rejection" of me, even though he was the one who texted me first, asking to hang out. Rejection stings and messes with my mind a bit. And I don't like him that much either.
Batya33 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Are you sure have a thick enough skin to be dating right now given your reaction to someone you don't like very much? I agree with Jadedstar that texting is a poor form of communication especially with someone you don't know well
luvursmile Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 If youre not even into him, then why bother, Ren? If you remotely like him, then ask him about the plans & texts and all that.
renaissancewoman101 Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 Are you sure have a thick enough skin to be dating right now given your reaction to someone you don't like very much? I agree with Jadedstar that texting is a poor form of communication especially with someone you don't know well Batya, I'm not like devastated over this, but it kinda stings a bit, esp since I thought he was into me and I was aloof enough and not chasing him. I'm puzzled about guys Personally, I HATE texting, but it seems this is his mode of communication most of the time, so I do it. He has told me I can call him but if he doesn't call me, I don't call him. Just doing it by the rules. Luvursmile, he is growing on me. And it is nice to have a guy to hang out with and do stuff with. Helps me get my mind off some issues that sadden me.
luvursmile Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Fair enough...just clarify to him that you did text him and never heard back from him. But for God's sake, woman--call him, dont text him! That way youre sure he knows where you stood that night. If only, for the purposes of not having any ill will. Luvursmile, he is growing on me. And it is nice to have a guy to hang out with and do stuff with. Helps me get my mind off some issues that sadden me.
Hope75 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Have you given any thought to the idea that you may be using him to ignore "issues that sadden you", and he may be picking up on that? Perhaps he is getting the feeling that you are just not that into him. (because you aren't, right?)
ghost69 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 why do you need to text him again to find out about his previous texts? the guy flaked after asking you out. why not move on? women need to find out the answer to everything i swear. and you asked this question at the end of your other thread. why are you asking again? trying to get answers you want to hear?
renaissancewoman101 Posted October 2, 2007 Author Posted October 2, 2007 Have you given any thought to the idea that you may be using him to ignore "issues that sadden you", and he may be picking up on that? Perhaps he is getting the feeling that you are just not that into him. (because you aren't, right?) Hope, he uses me as a sounding board to complain about him being hung up on one of his ex's. And we are/were just hanging out, casually dating. I don't talk about ex's or anything on my dates. That's just not me. I wasn't into him in the beginning, but I was starting to enjoy his company and doing things with him. I am human you know and do enjoy making friends.
renaissancewoman101 Posted October 2, 2007 Author Posted October 2, 2007 I do think he is being flaky. This morning, he text messages me that he missed me I texted him back asking him if he got my messages from last night. He told me that his phone was acting up and he didn't get my messages. And that was that. I didn't text him back. I ain't getting hung up on this.
Batya33 Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 first, I wouldn't look at online dating sites as a way of making friends, second, it would be good to be honest that your interest level increases when he distances himself - so it's not about him as a person really. third, if you choose to just text you increase the probability of miscommunication or missed communications.
renaissancewoman101 Posted October 2, 2007 Author Posted October 2, 2007 first, I wouldn't look at online dating sites as a way of making friends, second, it would be good to be honest that your interest level increases when he distances himself - so it's not about him as a person really. third, if you choose to just text you increase the probability of miscommunication or missed communications. Batya, I didn't post on an online dating site. I posted on Craigslist, in the area about making platonic friends.
renaissancewoman101 Posted October 2, 2007 Author Posted October 2, 2007 why do you need to text him again to find out about his previous texts? the guy flaked after asking you out. why not move on? women need to find out the answer to everything i swear. and you asked this question at the end of your other thread. why are you asking again? trying to get answers you want to hear? What causes guys to flake out?
ghost69 Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 What causes guys to flake out? i don't know. maybe he realized you aren't right for him. he wanted a quick piece of booty and realized you won't give it up. he got back with his ex. he moved. his father died and had to fly somewhere. who knows. but it happens to everyone. there is no specific reason.
Batya33 Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 I don't think it's flaky to decide after a few dates that the person is not a proper match. After a number of dates it is nice to let the person know you are no longer interested.
Batya33 Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 Batya, I didn't post on an online dating site. I posted on Craigslist, in the area about making platonic friends. OK, then if you are just friends, why are you discussing this as if it is a dating question?
ghost69 Posted October 2, 2007 Posted October 2, 2007 I don't think it's flaky to decide after a few dates that the person is not a proper match. After a number of dates it is nice to let the person know you are no longer interested. yeah, well some people just don't care. OK, then if you are just friends, why are you discussing this as if it is a dating question? i'm curious for this response too.
renaissancewoman101 Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 yeah, well some people just don't care. i'm curious for this response too. I'm not sure what I am trying to do. I was lonely for some company, and I like hanging out with guys. I dunno. He text messaged me this morning asking me if I wanted to hang out today. I ignored it. I guess I am best lonely and alone.
JadedStar Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Defeatist attitude again Ren. You are not meant to be lonely and alone. This is your first real dating candidate in a while. The fact that it might not work out is ONLY indicative of you don't always find your soulmate this quickly. There is a positive to this. He afforded you the oppty to get out there and mingle. If you TRULY wanted platonic friendship none of this stuff that is occurring would bother you so much. Be honest with yourself the most....you wanted more and wanted this to be more and that is why you are upset. If you truly looked at this as platonic friendship it would still be okay and you two would just hang out when the oppty was right for you both. You have to realize you do have a lot of expectations, and they are because you were looking for this to be more. There is nothing wrong with that but i fear you are not being honest wtih yourself about your expectations out of this. truth is there were a lot of redflags, and you knew that. But you hoped it would pan out. Again, nothing wrong with that. We have all been there.
renaissancewoman101 Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 I'm not upset about this. I do realize I am attractive and I can get the attention of guys. And people do want to be my friends.
JadedStar Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I'm not upset about this. I do realize I am attractive and I can get the attention of guys. And people do want to be my friends. Well then, that is FABULOUS. There is not much negative here then.
renaissancewoman101 Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 Trying to be positive is not easy. I'm going out for a walk, and maybe watch the sun set over the ocean. That usually cheers me up.
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