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Is female closeness sometimes mistaken for gayness?


RedPenguin

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Posted

I've seen a couple of times, two girls that hang out together constantly.

 

I mean you see them driving around in the same car, always sitting by each other, giggling with each other, not talking to anyone else but themselves.

 

See, when I see that, I just figure, maybe sisters or just good friends, who are just shy to talk to others. I rarely ever think gay.

 

So my question is, does anyone here normally assume gay?

 

The same question I ask about two guys.

 

My friend and I usually sit together, and I'm curious, if any girls, normally think right away, they are gay.

 

I ask because some people I know, would think right away, they have to be gay. That's why I'm curious if anyone else would come to that conclusion at all. Also, in High School, anyone close to anyone, was gay, and I'm curious if that mentality leaves after High School. Also, I know many guys, I've heard after trying to two girls who hung out together, say, "They musta been gay", they didn't go for me. LoL.

 

Anyway, the reason I ask this in the attraction forum, is I figured, well they attract guy's attention, and if they are gay, I guess it can be somewhat misleading, not that it would be their fault anyway.

 

I am not against gays in any way, I'm just noticing how easily people can construed the truth but I guess also confuse the truth.

Posted

I never think gay when i see 2 males or 2 females hanging together. Unless of course i saw them showing displays of affection, then i'd be thinking otherwise. Although, like you, i am not against gays at all.

 

I am used to have a very close friend who was the same sex as me and we used to hang out ALL the time. When we were at school we would catch up on all our breaks and always sit together, outside of school she was always either at my house or me at hers, we would dine together, go out together, she'd even sleep in my bed when she came over, but that was it, there was nothing more.

 

If people thought we were lesbians, then so be it.

Posted

Yeah that's what I thought.

 

I think most of it was a little back when, so many people acted afraid of gay people, like they were some kind of serious threat, which if I remember correctly is why they needed so many awareness and support groups, which I still think they use today.

 

You know, I always seem to get the same opinion of whoever I ask. I get from women, that two women is sick and some say guys being gay are less sick. Then pretty much every guy i talked to says it's sick, but yet many guys I've talk to, say gay women are neat.

 

All of it makes sense, but to me it's somewhat funny and shows how guys think, when many guys I've ever seen, do not get grossed out when they see two women, but then again, I've heard a fair amount say, as long as they are hot. So I guess if guys don't find the two attractive, it's not that "great". I guess that's why there are so many girl on girl porns but way less guy on guy porns.

 

I guess it will always be one of those things that's never settled.

Posted

I think that's high school rubbish, and immaturity. I had a friend in hs who might as well of been my Siamese twin. We had most classes together, hung out at lunch, and hung out everyday after school. On weekends we'd sleep at each others houses, and always dated girls that were friends with one another. No one ever assumed we were gay, everyone just knew we were best buds.

 

I'm not like that now, with any of my male friends, just because I grew up and we all have responsibilities now. I think women are more prone to always have their gf by their side, most women like bonding with one another that way. Talking, gossiping, shopping whatever.

Posted

My best friend and I are really quite close. We hang out everyday, when we greet each other we hug and kiss, sometimes when we're out together say at the mall or what not, we walk arm in arm or hold hands. The "intimacy" between two close female friends can sometimes be mistaken for homosexuality, we've been asked a few times even, but I don't really find it to be that strange or unconventional. Historically, bosom buddies were extremely intimate and it was just natural to express it publicly even. I myself do not assume two guys or two women are gay if they appear to be really close in public, unless there is a distinct (overt maybe?) display. But even then, it can be hit or miss, such as the case with me and my best friend.

Posted

In some cultures (that I belong to - I'm a multinational) kissing (not making out! just kissing cheeks etc.) and other strong physical contact is normal even among male friends.

Posted

You know, I noticed there must be a opposite sex shyness/nervousness.

 

I think when the kissing and hugging part comes in, with opposite sex shyness if it's there, it really makes it able to be misconstrued.

 

I've seen so many guys great around guys but sucky around women and many women great around women but sucky around guys, so I think some guys/gals probably think someone is or is possibly gay by just this alone or added on to something else.

Posted

My 2 closest friends & I are very close. We give each other a peck on the cheek and a hug when we see each other. I don't think anyone has every assumed us to be 'gay' but I could be wrong. I bartend a few nights a wk and when two guys come in together and sit I don't ever assume they're gay.

Posted
My 2 closest friends & I are very close. We give each other a peck on the cheek and a hug when we see each other. I don't think anyone has every assumed us to be 'gay' but I could be wrong.

 

Girls do that kinda thing all the time though. Same goes for sending each other "X"'s in text messages, emails and so on....

 

If two guys did either of those things it would invariably be perceived as 'gay'. At least in Western society.

Posted
Girls do that kinda thing all the time though. Same goes for sending each other "X"'s in text messages, emails and so on....

 

If two guys did either of those things it would invariably be perceived as 'gay'. At least in Western society.

 

Yes I do agree with you. If I saw two guys give each other a peck on the cheek and hug, yes I'd assume they were gay

Posted

If they were showing signs of affection, then I;d think they were into eachother. If they weren't, then I'd assume they aren't ionto eachother. I don't actually think of general sexual orientation unless i have an interest in the person and "feel them out" so to speak.

 

Not to mention, I'm taken so if I;m out anywhere it;s liekly with her and i better not be looking at any girls or she'll stab me!!!!

 

(Both her and I are fencers, hence the stab comment)

 

(I am assuming western culture for this post, if I were in europe and a guy gave a peck ot eachother, then I wouldn't think much of it, unless they took it further.)

Posted

It was out of curiosity and I know many people who seem to be quick to assume, "They are gay", so quickly it's unbelieveable sometimes. I wanted to see if other people are like that.

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