Dating a friends EX??

[Starrjenna]

Hey everyone! I have a question that is kind of tricky. I have a girl that I have known around 8 years. We used to work together and know eachother mostly professionally, but we are also friends. Not close friends but we have always been cool with eachother, and I do her hair etc. Now she was engaged to this guy about 2 years ago. The guy was pretty into her, but she took the whole engagment as kind of a joke (ie never wore the ring and always laughed when you'd ask about the wedding). She never really intended on marrying him and was basically using him for free trips and to help her open her business and such. Well he says that they broke up because she was cheating. She never addmitted it but they broke it off none the less a year and a half ago. I only met this guy once when they were together so we were never all hanging out or anything.

 

Well I ran into him right after they broke up and we developed a strong friendship. I had a b/f at the time and it was always plutonic. Well the past few months we have gotten really close and he wants to be together with me. Now I know he is over my "friend" but they do still talk every few weeks. But the girl calls him all the time. She will literally blow his phone up if he doesn't anwser. She has a new boyfriend that she has been with for 6 months. She always tells me how happy she is with him when we talk. So the question is, would you date this guy that used to date an aquatience (sp) of yours? Are they off limits? Do you ask the friend how she'd feel about yopu dating her ex? I don't know where to go with this because we really like eachother , but I really want to approch this the right way! Thank you for any advice, I really appriciate it!!!!

[Suzy_T]

To tell you the truth , I'm dating my Ex's Best friend.. who is also my Best friend and boyfriend.. And its the BEST relationship I have ever been in.. He knows my history, he knows what I went through with my Ex and its really not awkward.. at all.. I say go for it.. If you have strong feelings.. follow your heart.. Plus that girl sounds like an Uber mod edit anyways.. LOL just go for it!

[Marco311]

Depends how close you are. One of my good friends is dating a girl i use to "date", and I dont care at all. However, since they started dating, they both seem to resent me a little, and I dont talk to my buddy as much as I use to.

[annie24]

hm, tricky! my inclination is that she doesn't sound like a very good woman. I know some women like that. even though they have a boyfriend, and they broke up with their ex, they still don't let their ex move on and have to keep calling him. those kind of women just love to be the center of attention and hate it if you steal any of their spotlight. do you really want to be her friend?

 

if you date this guy, know that she may call off your friendship and badmouth you to everyone. are you willing to deal with that? if so, go for the guy.

 

good luck

[rs.dallaire]

I would not want to hurt a CLOSE friend. But for the rest anything goes in my book.

[littlestar]

As long as they're completely over each other i cant see the problem. I think it would be nice of you to discuss it with her though before you do it. Just feels like the respectable thing to do.

Good luck. I hope things work out well for you.

[brandnew1]

i had this happen to me but i was the ex girlfriend. my ex dated this girl i knew and didnt tell me - all of our mutual friends knew and i didnt find out for 8 months. i HATE that girl now. just make sure you clue her in so she is embarrassed if she randomly finds out.

[Starrjenna]

Thank you for all the advice! I am doing the friends hair this week and I will talk to her about it. I know he isn't into her anymore and she has a new boyfriend now. So we will see!!! Thank you somuch for all of your thoughts! xoxoxox

[ghost69]

i would never do this. my boys and i have a pact to never do this to each other. i think it's messed up. someone posted that they are doing it and it's great. they never said anything about the best friend though. i'm assuming they are okay with it then. extremely rare case.

[Starrjenna]

This girl isn't one of my good friends. We know eachother through our old work. we never talk or hang out unless I am doing her hair or we talk about business. we have known eachother a long time, but I would never call her for advice or to hang out or anything. So we are not even close to best freidns or anything like that!

[ghost69]

well then what's the problem? let us know what she says when you tell her.

[Mindy1607307824]

If you don't care about the girl, go for it. But keep in mind that if you know too much about the relationship they had it might hurt you eventually.

 

If you care about her, don't. I did it and I lost my friend and it's the worst decision I've ever made... but I feel you, I know what it's like + the fact that it's kind of "forbidden" does actually make it more interesting. (subconsciously...)