love4life Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 There's that quote from Sex and the City that says it takes half the time you were together to get over a person. Well, my relationship was just under 5 months, and it's been nearly 3 since the break-up, although the official last NC was about 17 days ago where I finally got closure because he'd been so wishy washy with the initial break-up. So...he's still not completely out of my system. I still have my moments of neediness and anger that pop up in the course of a day. This was the shortest relationship I've had, but it was the best (I've never clicked with anyone on every level like I did with my ex), and I was completely taken by surprise by the break-up. I just want these bouts of vulnerability and frustration to GO AWAY. How much longer should this take?! I hate it!
Lana0120 Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 I don't think there's a set time. SITS (ha sounds like a disease) may have some good points, but it isn't an exact science.
Infrared Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 I think it's half the time you were together during NC, because when your not doing NC your holding out for a miracle to save you. And the reality is, sometimes it will take meeting someone else for you to finally get over someone else. I also wouldn't listen to advice from Sex and the City. I believe it's one of those woman shows whose writers are all male. I heard that somewhere so I could be wrong on that.
TMinCali Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 I was with my guy for 10 months. Been broken up for 6. He's still not out of my system, but I'm looking forward to the day when he is
curious11 Posted September 30, 2007 Posted September 30, 2007 I was with my guy for 10 months. Been broken up for 6. He's still not out of my system, but I'm looking forward to the day when he is its been 8 months since a 4 month relationship. i still think about her 24/7. Im with u cali, im looking for that day.
HajiMaji Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I was in a 10 month relationship and it took me 10 months before I really felt ok about dating again. I mean I went on other dates, but when it didnt go well i felt really bad about it. Being disapointed or feeling akward after a bad date is normal, but crying your eyes out for a few hours just because she wasnt your type isnt a sign of being healed. 10 months i just started dating without feeling crazy afterwards. But with that said, there was even some time after i had begun a new relationship that hurt. I wasnt thinking about the ex often by any means, but its hard to accept the new "style" of intimacy sometimes. Me and my first ex had a perfectly intune sense of humor, and our together time was a lot different than with my newest ex. Through enough time with the new person though, I was able to love what I had, and eventually I didnt miss the first ex at all in any way. So, I dont know. Its really hard. The most important thing is that a day will come. I like to think about how life use to be in the old days, where it took months to travel accross multiple state lines. Now it takes a day. So before, you could say getting over a breakup will just take as long as a trip, there and back, from main jamestown to maine. Today that means it would only take like 4 days, which would be awesome.
Jess... Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I don't think there's a set time. SITS (ha sounds like a disease) may have some good points, but it isn't an exact science. I agree with this. It happens when it happens. For me, I was with my ex for 14 months. Took about 8 months before I decided I wanted to move on. Now, at almost 10 months, he is out of my system. The only time I talk about him is when I come on here and share my story for others.
bubblyblonde11 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I don't think there is a time limit, too many differencials like how much you loved him, cared for him, spent with him, what type of person you are, how your emotions are, how strong you are, how easily you can deal with being single etc etc etc. For those that put a time limit on love and healing are just wrong.
love4life Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 Glad to hear these stories. Thanks, all! I feel like I'm dwelling or something. I found it easier to get over those relationships that I felt had run their course. This one had only just started and I feel gipped of all the good memories I wanted to create.
love4life Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 Sorry, what I meant to say was "I was starting to feel like I was dwelling", but I guess I'm not. Good to know!
Coyote9 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 I think you are doing relatively well compared to many on here....5 months isn't a long time, so you've moved on for the most part because of that. The longer the relationship, the longer in most cases it takes to get over if you are the dumpee and were willing to stand in and try to make things work. Dumpers move much faster as they have emotionally abandoned the relationship months or years earlier. In those rare cases where it's mutual, or where a dumper has been supportive and open about their reasons for leaving, I think the healing can be faster for dumpees as well. That's not most of us here, as we've had little closure that we've been able to gain other than completely on our own.
love4life Posted October 1, 2007 Author Posted October 1, 2007 True that, since it was short, there's less time and fewer memories to mourn. Still, I felt like there was more to explore with him (and about him) and having that ripped away was the hardest part.
brokedownpalace Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 unfortunately there is not a set time for this. your bouts of sadness will come when it comes and goes when it goes. The most important thing for you is to remember who YOU are.. and if you have forgotten you need to go find yourself. breakups are always tricky.. no timetable.. just time
illnvrluvher Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 AAAAAHHHHHH i wish someone had the answer to that question. i was in a three year relationship. we tried to be friends for a while after(like a year). i am just starting to heal. the relationship ended in 2005...it is 2 years later and i am just starting to heal, but i think about her EVERYDAY.
Coyote9 Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Those that don't do NC and are forever checking in on their ex's (through myspace, asking friends, finding out information about who their ex is seeing, blah, blah, blah) will take longer, as every time you contact them or find out new info, you go right back to the beginning for a time.
brokedownpalace Posted October 1, 2007 Posted October 1, 2007 i know how it is.. i was where you guys were.. and finally one day the light went on and the sadness went away.. its just a matter of focusing on other things that are GOOD about your life so your not focusing on the BAD of it.. and things do turn around. All change starts from within...
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