problem ex boyfriend

[miss tabby]

Hi there

 

I'm in a relationship at the moment, its going well, love the guy, etc etc. I'm having a normal relationship with a relatively normal person for the first time-no long distance, no screwed up up self esteem, no clinginess- to constantly deal with. We're enjoying being together.

 

A few weeks back a friend of mine emailed me telling me one of my ex's (who I broke up with over 2 years ago) had emailed him wanting my email address. That freaked me out-I dont want to talk to this guy whatsoever. He was the first guy I was involved with seriously, and after I broke up with him (due to various reason mainly cause I was really interested in someone else) he went nuts. Sent me copious letters and emails full of every "take me back" cliche you can imagine, then threatened to kill himself because of me, sent me $200 worth of gifts for my birthday, sent my parents birthday cards, and here's the best bit: got a tattoo with *my* name on it. (After I dumped him) (See why I dont want anything to do with him?)

 

Anyway, since hearing this news from a friend of mine (the ex hasnt succeeded in finding my address and I blocked all my accounts anyway) I've been plagued by thoughts of this pathetic creature. I'm not thinking about getting back with him-far from it. I wish he was out of my life *totally* The fact he tried to contact me means that he's still somewhere in the state, and I'd much rather him be on the other side of the world (Or dead ) I just keep remembering stuff from both when we were together and in the horrible aftermath when he was basically stalking me. I feel almost hunted again, like I did when he was sending me all those letters.

 

The fact that I am thinking about this stuff bugs me. I know hearing that he tried to contact me would have set it off, and the fact I dont know why he wanted to talk to me, but I'm still annoyed by it. It happened over 2 years ago, its buried in my past and I'm happy with someone else. I'd think about him and other ex's every now and then, as we all do, but this has been bugging me for several days now. Does anyone else have a reason for me being bugged by this, or how I can stop it? I want to get it out of my head and focus on my current boyfriend and my life at the moment, not be reminded of bad things from my past. I'm seriously plagued by it-i'm worrying about it (the fact i'm thinking about him in the first place) all the time.

 

I am under a fair bit of stress at the moment, I'm nearly finished my degree and I've been worrying about a lot of things lately. I also recently had mine and my boyfriends 21sts which although fun were kinda stressful. I also tend to worry far too much-the more I think about something the worse it gets.

 

I dunno. I guess this is some kind of freudian repressed guilt coming out, or something psychological related like I'm identifying things I dont want in a relationship.I'm a totally different person now to what I was then too, and I prefer the way I am now. I'm going to bring this up with a counsellor I see too.

[Cid]

The only thing that you can do besides what you have allready done and that is get and restraining order on him. That is about it will I wish you the best of luck with your b/f and I hope that your ex leaves you alone.

[miss tabby]

I dont really think that's possible, legally. It was over two years ago, and I don't have any "evidence" whatsoever-the letters were thrown out straight away. Even at the time I dont think it would have been allowed.

[Cid]

Just keep a paper trail then you can push that on him. Try not to talk to him he sounds like a weardo.