I broke up w/ my gf of 3.5 years and now I want her back

[kantore]

This summer I broke up with my girlfriend because I was graduating college and wanted to work instead of moving up to Eugene to be with her. She still has 2 years of school left and I could not put my life on hold. She took this very hard and I imeediately regretted my decesion. However she kept saying that if we were supposed to be together, we would be together. So we tried to be friends over the summer, and it was really hard, but we managed. Then when she went to school, her attitude changed, she said all the feelings of the breakup came flooding back, and that is why she treated me differently. A little while later she called and things were back to normal. But then I got confused because we got along just fine. I thought if we get along so well, why are we not together? I told her that I needed some time alone, and asked her not to call me. She honored my request, and about a month went by. One day I decided to call and see how she was doing, we had a really great conversation and it felt good to hear her voice. Then New Years came and I called her to wish her a happy New Year. She was so mean to me, and said that she hadn't even thought of me, and did not know what I expected from her. She told me that she thought that we were at different stages of the break up, and told me to move on. I got mad and hung up, and have not spoken to her since. The thing is that I really love her and think that we can have a wonderful future together. How can I get back on good terms with her. I feel like all I am doing is pushing her farther away. I know that she loves me alot because I am her first everything, and because I was a good boyfriend to her. Please help me, I know if you love something you should let it go, but what if she never comes back?

[cindydm]

kantore,

 

You should not have told her to not call you and that you need time. Hearing that and being a woman it sounds to a woman like you said, " I don't want to talk to you." Or "I want to see someon else."

 

To understand a woman you have to put yourself in her shoes and try to feel what she feels....which is hard. The only way you would possibly get her back is to earn her back.....which would be hard since she felt like you threw her away. You will have to give her flowers and beg with sincerity. When I say flowers I mean not just those roses that men give but a bouquet that shows you have class. You will have to court her again and start all on a new foot with a fresh start. You will have to look at what you did wrong and appoligize. You will have to be make her feel you are worth her accepting you again. You have to make her feel you will not just get up and leave again.

 

You must comfort her. No woman wants a man who says I want you then leaves and comes back then leaves and comes back then leaves then comes back then leaves then comes back over and over again. If you do it repeatedly she will feel you are wasting her time. She will then find a man who appreachates her the way she feels she should be.

 

I am talking from experience a few guys have done this to me.......my ex who i use to live with did this. He was not sure what he wanted and by time he realized he wanted me again I was taken.

 

A little wisdom. You could have found a job close to her. When you love someone include them in your decisions. When you love someone you do not just mark them out your life. Think of other people and how they would feel when making decisions. How would you have felt if she did that to you? Did you love each other the same? Or did she love you more? Did she feel the relationship was more serious than you? It appears so.

 

You could have possibly have been married to her by now. Why loose a good thing when you could keep it forever? Now when you step to her you will have to prove you are serious. You have to tell that woman and SHOW her how much you truly love her......otherwise if you do not get her to feel, see, and believe you it won't work.

 

You can send flowers, write letters, but you must apologize first (you could do it in person or write a letter then go see her) Let her know how much she really means to you. Earn her back. Being her first everything does not mean anything if you do not show you truly love her and stand by her. Stop yo-yoing her because that is not fair. If you want her....be ready for her. Do not give up on the first try but be sensible with your efforts. Take her out to dinner and talk.....or have a romantic dinner at your place. Take her on a walk and talk and tell her how you feel......tell her how things have not been the same without her in your life. Play a love song......sing a love song outside her window. Do whatever it takes to show sincerity.......without being over bearing. Send her a video tape of you telling her how you feel and that you want her. What ever you do it will have to show her that you are sincere.

 

I hope you will be with her again. Let me know how it turns out. email removed