wifes internet relationships

[cookie555]

My wife out of the blue told me she had met someone on line and was leaving me to set up home with him. After bring the situation to a head it fell through his end and for now she has stayed with me. We seem to be making some progress in our relationship but she continues to use the forum where she met the guy and still has close relations with male friends there, even though it causes me some distress. This forum seems to mean every thing to her and it his hard to impress on her what damage she is continuing to do our relationship.

[jessie27407]

wow...well, i think i need some more background info on the relationship....If she was going to leave you and the other man was the one to call it off...what makes you think she won't leave you again....Is she sorry for what happened?...does she want to be with you? or are you just there until the next guy comes around...How long have you been together?..This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen....I need more info to give true advice...

[DealingWithIt]

My question is why are you still in a relationship with this woman? I'm sorry if I sound rude but this woman doesn't seem to be interested in being a "real" relationship with you. If all she cares about is forming online relationships with other men then hooking up with them...why do you let her still be in your life? You're just setting yourself up for heartache.

 

Have you tried talking to her and telling her how she's destroying your relationship? Ask her why is it important for her to meet other men online when she has you. If she tells you that she won't stop then you should be thinking of kicking her out of your house....you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you and not someone who's only staying with you until her "dream" online connection comes true.

 

Good luck

[cookie555]

I don't know how this will sound when I say this, but my wife insists that she never met the guy , but at one point she was willing to leave me and move away loosing the contact she has with her grandchild with out a word for him. We have been married for 25 years. She spends many hours on the forums moderating on at least one.

 

I must add that they are not forums for looking for relationships but PC/IT related forums and the relationships that she has she insists are innocent .

 

We are talking and I have tried to express my fears and concerns to her, she still insistes that the forum is important to her.

 

I never posted to receive an answer to my problems as I know this is so complicated and its hard for me to give a full account of are relationship in a few words but, any feed back or comments are appreciated along with your interest.

[jaded4life]

Hello

It seems as if the major area of concern here is trust and loyalty. These are the basics for developing and maintaining an intimate, satisfying, relationship. You did not post why things fell through with your wife's estranged online friend. Nevertheless, there are major trust issues here. If you can not trust your wife then this will create havoc in any area of a marriage.

If you communicate to her your feelings and she still refuses to be involved in saving the marriage, you may need to resort to letting her go.

It sounds as if there are alot of insecurity issues and controlling issues, if she desires her needs before your marriage than failure is imminent.

Talk with her, do not accuse, argue, criticize, which may be difficult b/c of her infidelity. You have forgiven her; obviously, but how is your relationship.

It is very sad when the person we cherish does not return the love or desire to continue the relationship. Hence, you can not make someone love you. She may very well love her, but perhaps there are other issues taking her mind and heart away. Communicate openly, explore your own feelings, give her the chance to be involved. If she is still not wiling to accomadate the relatinoship, show yourself some love and respect.

[Ash]

For many people, it's a lot easier to communicate online through a computer rather than verbally with a person right next to them. Is this true for you and your wife?

 

Perhaps you could try and assetain what it is that she's missing from you she can get elsewhere.

 

Sometimes, sadly, it just happens we drift away from our partners and the one left behind is powerless to do anything. I doubt you're at that point yet, but it does look like you need to open the lines of communication with her somehow so you can both figure out if something needs to change and how it needs to change.