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Hey everyone! My topic might through ya'll off but I've got a story to back it up. Now, don't get me wrong I don't mind his "indivual time" because I know couples need there space it's just the way he goes about it.

It's my boyfriend, his best friend and weightlifting. It seems as though when you put those together that Im not a priority to him. Sometimes I feel as though I come 3rd, when I believe I should be first (no matter how bad that sounds). He is always concerned to be with his friend more then he is concerned to be with me. He doesn't like me around when they are together because he tells me that I am interfearing. I feel as though if we were to split that he wouldn't even think twice and that he wouldn't even care. He sends off those vibes and feelings in me.


I have talked to him about how he treated me and he says he feels really bad about it and that things will change. HE tells me that he never put me second, and that he wont make me feel like that again. Yet he tells me that he is going to hang out with his friend and go to the gym just the same as he did before.


I'm also a little worried because he is turning 21 in DEC. I still have 'til March. I don't want him drinking because I am afraid it will imapair him and he'll cheat on me.


How do I handle all this baggage that he comes with? I love him to death so don't tell me I need to break it off.


I am here for help. . .PLEASE someone

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Hey there. I'm a little confused. Are you saying you don't want him seeing his best friend anymore? Or do they go weightlifting every night and leave you behind?


I don't think there is anything wrong with him wanting to spend some time with his best friend. And maybe that doesn't include you. But he should agree to some sort of limitation on this - like once a week or something. I don't think its realistic for you to expect him to drop his best friend from his life. I am guessing at this, but I suspect he has known his friend longer than he has known you. He can still put you first in his life, and yet want a little time for himself and his best friend.


You mention "all this baggage" but this one issue doesn't seem like a lot of baggage to me. Is there something else?


You're going to have to trust him when he turns 21. I would be hard pressed to believe he's never been drinking before and if he's not cheated on you then, why would he do so now?


You are sending out a lot of 'insecurity' vibes to me and I'm wondering if there isn't something else behind all this that is making you nervous...

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I tend to agree with avman on this. You do sound very concerned about it.


Most of us guys partake in certain forms of male bonding rituals, in which women are generally not welcome. Don't worry about that part of it, women just don't factor in under those circumstance, at least not in any serious way. It's just a way for guys to kick back, and not feel scrutinized by the female portion of the population. I wouldn't worry about the being with his buddy part turning into him being unfaithful with another girl.


The fact he'll be 21 soon, legally able to drink and that worries you is a different issue entirely in my mind. Perhaps you can separate the two out in your head and think of them one at a time. That may help you see things more clearly.

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  • 2 weeks later...



This is the problem with some couples they spend too much

time with each other that they forget that their lives

shouldn't just evolve around 'em. I think your boyfriend's

had enough of you being posessive and maybe that's why

he's been saying all this mean things to you.Girl give him

space because if he feels like he's being choked then he

just might end up cheating on you or much worse. U should

also talk to him about some of the mean things he's said to

you just because you wanna spend more time with him doesn't

give him the right to treat you like sh*t and say mean things to you.






I have found little that is good about human beings. In my experience most of them, on the whole, are trash. - Sigmund Freud

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