I feel ignored... by guys...

[Anamarie89]

Well, not everybody. Just like, boys. I'm not scary, or shy, or ugly or anything, but they just don't seem to want to talk to me. I mean, when i see them (I'm talking about a couple specific guys here) I smile and acknowledge their existence, but they don't extend me the same respect. Now, I haven't actually had a one-on-one conversation with them, is that the reason they are reluctant to return the smile? I am putting too much importance into the passing in the halls, eye contact smile gesture? And they do know who I am, I have joined in conversation while they are there, but only because my friend was there.

 

What I want to know is, how can I get more guys - as friends - to notice me? I don't see any problem with guys (like I used to when I first visited this site) but I just don't have this problem with girls.

 

And, as a bit of background, I do want guys as friends because eventually guys as friends should lead to guys and more than friends, or am i wrong about that as well.

[TehShyGuy]

Hmm i dont know how i can help yah here cuz theres alot of stuff that depends. As for the passing in the halls thing, i would be happy to see a girl smiling walking by me. I see nothing wrong in that, just shows that you are a friendly person. But for me to notice a girl she usually does her hair different (i dunno like a wet look.), or dress different (if no uniform) or something. o I love when girls come up and talk to me and stuff but as long as they didnt be too hyper.

[dfcannon]

It's great that you are spreading smiles freely...makes the world a better place. Here's my own guy point of view, although I graduated high school in the 80s so I'm not totally with it regarding guys in school today.

 

Anyway, it sounds like you are a sincere, genuine person who wants healthy relationships with guys. It also seems you are sensitive and have not yet been in a big relationship. An issue I can see developing here is that because certain guys are not showing attention to you, you are starting to feel there's something wrong with your approach or start to have self-doubts. Sometimes this can be a set-up for a very, very bad relationship for a teenage girl, where a guy suddenly comes along and showers her with attention for the wrong reasons, and she finally feels wanted and loved, and then he hurts her feelings. I would hate to see that happen to you, because it does not have to be. Establish your own list of things you want in guy friends, and if they don't meet your standards (e.g., smile and show you respect), then look at them as bad apples and keep looking for better guys. If you use these kinds of standards, instead of letting the guys hold the power, then you will be in a position to be sooo much happier! So take my advice and pass it along to your friends and teach those guys how to treat girls right!

[Ash]

I think you're right in thinking that having guys as friends will eventually lead to some special guy as more than a friend. I tonly stands to reason that it's easier to really get to know somebody if you already know them as a friend.

 

As for making friends, think of the following:

- join some clubs if you can, even if you're really only there for the social aspect of it.

- make friends with girls who seem to have a lot a guy friends.

- try voluteering somewhere that there are people your own age.

 

Some of the guys you are trying to be friendly with are likely a bit shy too. Especially if you're above average in any aspect of appearance, that really tends to make guys think they won't measure up somehow.

 

After you've joined in a conversation with one of the guys you'd like to meet, follow it up later on with a question relevant to what you were talking about. In other words, essentially manufacture a reason to talk to them.

[swift44]

why dont you try starting up a conversation. too many girls expect the boy to make a move towards friendship or relationships just try talking and being more open and not just smiling.

Hope it works