this is what happened what should i do now?

[porkshop]

thanks for the advice in my post "holiday fing or love of my life" it put things in perspective and i thought id go for it. This is the update though,

 

he didnt travel so see me when i expected and didnt even return my call to say whether he was or wasnt He had been on holiday a few days b4 i was expecting him to come, so we hadnt kept in touch as much as usual but had spoke and things were fine. I was upset he didnt say whether he was coming to visit me but i left it for a while then txt him to remind him and ask him and he didnt even reply. I didnt respond till a few days later when i unfortunately got drunk with my friends and sent him an aweful txt sayin he obviously didnt care and had lead me on to believe he did and bla bla bla which i admit wasnt the best of things to do Which he didnt reply to.

 

I havent heard from him since and i feel aweful about it because we've been close for so long. He had also said he'd been in a fight on his holidays and had broke his hand so thinkin back now, he may not have even been able to drive here. I was just so hurt he had not said either way that i let it all out. My friends have said its a good thing because now he knows how i feel and he would have called if he cared too, and they still think he'll give me call. But even if he doesnt want to be in a relationship, this guy has been my friend for over 2years and i've lost him as a friend now .

 

I cant decide whether 2get in touch with him or not. im embarrassed about being aweful, i've never been angry with him b4, but i think my friends r right in that he would have called me if he even cared about our friendship. Then again he might have not been able to get here n not wanted to hurt me and tell me hed let me down again, or have felt the pressure from me and just wanted to be friends. It will be easy for me to move on if i tell myself he just didnt care and if i call him i will never know if he would have got in touch with me and cares about our friendship. Then again i did let my feelings get the better of me,cutting my nose off despite my face, and we did get on soooo well in every sense, it would be such a shame to leave things as they are.

 

Your advice made alot of sense and helped b4 so i thought id ask what uz thought? thanx again

[enadevoli]

you cant think that he's not responding to your txt because it was awful. he wasnt responding to you before that, so it seems to me like some thing is up with this guy. i think you should try calling him or something & find out whats going on. if he didn't want to hurt you by telling you that he wasnt coming to visit, would he think that just not showing up doesnt hurt you as much? i know i would be more hurt if my bf didn't call me to tell me & just didn't show up because i would feel like either he forgot about me, or just doesnt care. you just need to call him or talk to him some how because its important to find out whats going on.

[porkshop]

Im far too embarrassed to call him, I cant remember just how horrible that msg was i sent. I want to know how he feels though.

 

If he'd came up i would have talked to him about us and i'd know now where we r with things and whether to call or not but he didnt n iv made things worse. U said to ring should i be calling upset that he didnt get in touch, or apologising for me over reacting or both?

 

This is an example of what he's like and why so im confused. we both said to begin with we live too far away and were seeing other people at first but when i went to see him when i left i said i had a lot of feelings for him and that i knew it was silly with us being so far apart and his reply was" havent you heard of love at first sight". Then he txt talkin about a weddin and invited me saying i should see i cud catch the bouquet, i said why n he said, he'd marry me tomorrow. He's said he misses me alot and i've implied i wanted to be more than friends by sayin i want to be ur girl and he always replies u r my girl and tells me he hasnt went out with other girls since i saw him. Im thinking now though that he led me on n i should leave him be.

[porkshop]

im so confused i wish i had a crystal ball