still hurting

[cadet326]

Me and my wife have been married for about 8 months now, she told me about 5 months ago that she wanted a divorce and she left for korea (shes in the army). Since then she has filed for divorce and hasnt spoken to me on the phone in like 4 months. I miss her more then anything and I would still give my life for her if she gave me the chance. I have done everything I can to get over her and move on, I have gone out on dates and still when I am out too dinner when I put my head down I still hope that when I look up she is there smiling at me. I know now that the love I have for my wife was and still is strong, but I am starting to see no light at the end of this tunnel, she is still being mean to me when she writes me emails and she still wont tell me why, I did my best to love her and show her every day, I never cheated on her and I never hurt her. this all started after she joined the army. I am starting to get scared, I feel like I will never get over her, and its not even like I am having a hard time letting go I am honistly trying, but everynight before I go to sleep I whisper to my self " I miss my wife" with a tear rolling down my cheak. What do I do, how long is this going to take, I swear somtimes the pain I feel inside is enough to just end it all right now, I would never do that but its gets that bad somdays, like when I am at the doctors, I miss the way she would hold my hand and keep me calm. somone please tell me how long it will take before I start forgeting about her and start feeling better about what is happening to me, I just miss her so so much and if anything my feelings are only getting stonger for her as she trys to push me away. anyone have any advice? thanks

cadet326

[Shyguy24]

Hey You have to help ur self Mate

 

See things u should remember ; she dosent love you , yeah she dosent otherwise she would never make you feel like this no matter what

 

So why waste your time on somebody who dosent give a sh**

 

You know sometimes we got to dig deep and get strong I know it hurts ; but remember that you have to be realistic about it ;

 

I would suggest do some extra activities or something to keep u occupied , and HEY DON'T GIVE IN TO THE PAIN REMEMBER MATE THAT , U ARE STRONG AND YOU DON'T NEED HER , NOT IF SHE HAS GIVEN YOU SUCH PAIN

 

Forget it man , go out there but think about it realistically , get up and say hey I am going to change today and learn from this

 

Sure we had a wonderful time but hey I didn't end it so its not my fault so why should I feel bad or anything ;

 

Cmon I know you can DO IT …YOU DON'T NEED HER MATE …YOU DESERVE BETTER

0X

[notoriouschris23]

I had something similar happen to me. My wife left me for another guy while I was in Iraq. She let her new group of friend persuade her she eas too young to be married. I treated her with nothing but respect, I was honest, I never cheated, and I did everything for her. I still trying to get over it myself. It's been about two month since I found out. You just got to remain strong. There are plenty of women out there that would appreciate a man that'll treat them right. It's difficult, I know, but you got to remember what she did to you even if you got her back what says she won't do it again. It's time to move on find someone who'll appreciates you. Good Luck and stay strong

[MaidenHeaven]

It sounds like you are a very dedicated and kind hearted person, and your wife has taken for granted these traits. Speaking as someone who has recently moved away from my "regular" life to pursue my dreams, sometimes when two people grow apart it is because one person is growing.

 

Losing a relationship is a grieving process, be gentle with your own heart. Don't rush in to dating, the answer to getting through this heartache won't be found in the next person you start dating, it begins with you.

 

My advice is to spend your time enriching your spirit, in whatever ways you find inspiring (travelling, learning something new). Then when the time is right and you meet the right person you will be healed, and able to give someone who may be able to treat you better with the love you are capable to give. Which sounds like a lot.

 

Being single isn't all that bad, the wound is still fresh, be patient.

 

Take care of yourself,

MaidenHeaven

[confusion123]

i would have to say that i totally agree with shyguy24 Well im only 18 and have never been married so ill admit to not really knowing what your feeling right now. But what i do know is that if somebody loves you..whether they are close family, friends, relatives or lovers if they truly love you there is no way they could bare to see you endure such pain. I get the feeling that deep down in your heart you know she doesnt love you but your finding it hard to let go which is understandable. My point is why bother with somebody who doesnt appreciate you in the same way you do them?? My suggestion would be to face the reality that there is a big possibility that you might loose her but also that life goes on regardless of how strong your feelings have been and life does go on. Although it takes much courage and strength im sure that if you try hard enough and in the right way you can move on and get over this. I wish you all the best

hope i helped