What is going through your heads and why?

[Princess777]

OK Gentlemen, or anyone who experiences this, I have a question for you....

What is going through your heads when you withdraw from your partner periodically, and go silent, and seem to space out, and why? Nearly every guy I've known does this....

My husband does this about once a week for different amounts of time, sometimes for several hours, sometimes for a whole day. He just goes quiet and doesn't touch me, sometimes just wants to sleep, sometimes goes for a walk, or sits like a zombie. He claims he is meditating and gets rather irritable at that particular point in time if I don't understand. After pressing for more of an explanation when asked, he described it in the way that he gets too much going on inside his head and he needs quiet time to just think about nothing, and to let these thoughts subside. Once they do, he acts totally normal and is usually very loving afterward, as he usually is anyway. Does that sound familiar? Is this a guy thing only? He says it has nothing to do with me or his love for me, and that I've done nothing wrong, but it kind of freaks me out when he does it even though he says to never think that I smother him or anything and says he loves lots of attention and wants all I can give him. So why the silent stuff? Is this normal?

Princess777

[Ash]

I do this quite often. My father did too, so maybe it is more a guy thing.

 

I'm not exactly sure why. I think perhaps I'm trying to deal with internal stresses, let things work their way into place in my head, let things sort them selves out to some extent.

 

Other times I think I'm trying to convince myself things aren't so bad, and if I just take a back seat for a while, things will get better. On other occasions, I may possibly be talking myself out of doing something I know is not for the best by running through consequences in my head and telling myself I really don't want it to happen that way.

 

I do know when in this state that I don't want to have to make any decisions, or think about anything new.

 

Like me, it sounds like your husband doesn't always know what he wants, and maybe puts too much pressure on himself to do best for his family and possibly doesn't ask others for assistance when he could use it the most. (Or maybe that's just me!!)

[buffalosoldier]

Hey Princess!!

Apparently this is called 'the inner cave man'. -I havent experianced this to a large extent but my bf has similar stages where its impossible to get more than a grunt out of him.(!) I dont think its too much to worry about,but i understand where you are coming from.-as women we automatically sense when something is up and want to help out our partner,thats only natural.But i think sometimes its better to try and support them silently when they are like this if you know what i mean.

Its a good sign that he is coming back to you after this period of silence and being his usual self. I would try to let him have his silent times,or rather his 'caveman' moments,he might be thankful,i think sometimes we all like to have a little think to ourselves now and again,its just men do it more often than not.(Trying really hard not to generalise here)Most women prefer to talk about things and analyse the situation where as a lot of men tend to think it is a sign of weakness to bluntly ask for help.

 

Next time this happens,dont let it get to you too much,i would just ask him once if he is ok and if he says yes then it is more than likely that he will be ok after his quiet time.Just make sure that he knows you are there for him(im sure you do) and im sure that he will come to you for advice when he's ready.

 

I hope i helped you,take care

[Princess777]

Thank you very much for all your replies....

 

From the replies, I guess it is all dependent upon what is going on in one's life at the moment. I was thinking there may have been a specific reason but I guess not.

 

Thanks again,