should i be over him by now?

[whitelilly]

It's been just over 2 months since the breakup with my ex. (He broke up with me)

 

About three weeks ago, he contacted me and said he wanted to get back together and try it, as he misses being with me. Then I found out he was drunk, and that he doesn't want to get back together with me. Although he still misses me, he said when he was drunk he didn't think of WHY he broke up with me in the first place, which was because he didn't love me, and knew it wasn't going to be long term. So getting back together with me just because he misses me, and misses being with someone, he doesn't want to do, as he doesn't want to hurt me again.

He told me that it was partially sex driven also, which hurt me SO much.

 

I felt like I was back at square one again, as I was starting to get over things. I told him a lot of things I probably shouldn't, but I was just so hurt, and I was really honest.

 

I am feeling much better now, as in, I am not "pining" over him anymore. Or crying often about him. Nor am I continuosly going over all our "good times" in my head like i was previously. And I am over wanting him back, after he contacted me again, I told him we couldn't be together. (when we first broke up i told him he had to tell me if he regretted it, but the fact he used that chance when he was drunk and didn't mean it, means i don't owe him any more chances)

 

But I still think about him everyday. When we chat at college, I end up feeling upset afterwards - but more because he's friends with all MY friends now, and hearing about how much fun they are having without me is not making me feel much better.

 

Basically, it's getting to the point where I want to stop thinking about him. It's starting to drive me insane, as I know it's coming up to 3 months now, and I just want to move on with things.

 

I know I have come a long long way, from when we first broke up. Things are easier, but things have slowed down in the progression stage. Is this normal??

 

I was just wondering if this is how it works, that the first few stages you can notice how you are moving along, and then it kind of just slows down?

 

I just want to feel ok with things again. Is three months a long time to still be thinking about your ex everyday?

 

People have told me to "just not let it bother me" but it's easier said than done.

[Ashland71]

I think you are doing great. Really you sound so together. I don't think that considering the fact that he gave you what could have been a major set back I think it is understandable that you aren't moving forward quiet as well as you had been. That was pretty awefull what he said to you when he was drunk. I am sorry that happened to you. I think you are doing great it sounds like you really have it together. There isn't much you can do to speed up the process just try not to dwell on him too much and just let move forward with your plans and goals and soon you will feel like this was all just a learning experience/nightmare that is now over. I really do wish you all the best and just want you to know that I wish you the best. Sincerely, Ashland

[street]

ur doing great if u ask me, im in a similar situation i had that drunken message after 5 months, and it does send u back..after 5 months i feel like im back at square one...

 

ur right after the first few months the healing does seem to slow down, i still think about my ex often, i feel love, anger and even hatred...

 

but i know one day soon i won't think about her...the best thing u can do is no contact it reallt does work!!!

 

she also shares my friends but i have managed to stay away from her, my mates understand and after they have seen how she has treated me have sided with me...

 

just keep ur chin up!!