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2 months since breakup, but still not over her?


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Thanks for reading ,

I have posted several times during my break-up and would like to say thanks to all that have replied. Everyone mentioned to move on and stop contact, and I have mostly but still is hard.

 

My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago after being together for almost 3 years,she's 24 I'm 27. At first I was trying everything to get her back, like flowers,cards,calling her etc... but she said she needed time alone and stuff. In the relationship she was the one that wanted to get married and have children but I was the scared one, and I guess she got fed up of my fear of commitment and the fact we were arguing alot the last 6 months so she ended it. It made it really hard at first when she started dating a new guy a couple of weeks after we brroke up , and to this day I think she is still with him.. Anyways at first I took it hard, I mean I would call her alot and ask for her back and stuff. A month went by and it wasn't as hard , it was still hard but not as bad.

 

So for the last month I've been really fine about it I guess, I've dated a couple of girls and for the past 2 weeks i've been dating this one particular girl, she's really nicec and all and we have been intimate but she wants a relationship now and I am not ready for anyone new right now because I still think of the ex alot. The ex and I still keep in contact a bit about once a week, either she'll call me or I'll call her and we went for lunch about 2 weeks ago.

The question is that Why am I still not over her? I mean I'm dating someone new and she's nice and all but I still think of the ex? Some of her stuff is still in my apartment (because we lived together for 2 years). I'm still in love with her and I think she knows that but what is the best thing for me to do? Tell her to pick up the rest of her stuff,which is not much and tell her to leave the keys to the place and have no contact forever or at least a long long while or should we still talk once every week or two? A big part of me still wants her back but I am at the point that I am not pressuring her at all, I haven't mentioned about US getting back together in over a month. What made matters worse was when last week I met her because she was giving my Dad post-dated cheques because he lent her alot of money for school and I slipped and told her that I was dating this new girl and stuff. Before I mentioned that she was getting mad at me for everything when I met up with her and then just flat out said that , You're with someone now and happy and I'm with someone now and happy so why can't we just get along now??? Well after I said that she just looked at me and said "BYE" and slammed my car door shut and went into her place. The following day she called me and apologized for the way she was the night before.

So what should I do?? Break contact forever or because deep down I still love her to leave the door slightly open for us work things out later on?

Any suggestions would be great.

Thanks

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Hey buddy...

I dated my gf for 4 yrs and we broke up...I still love her and want her back...we broke up a year ago but tried to patch it up the past few months...I had fear of commitment too. it sucks...I'd do anything to have her back now....I ***ed it up every chance she gave me and she gave me alot of them...I grew up now and realized my problem and got help (actually I was geting help while we were together)..I'm 31 and she is 27...I want her back...think about her and the girls you've met since...who would you rather be with...could there be someone else down the road or do you think she is "the one", think it out...slowly...don't be irrational. If you love her then make a plan to get her back (don't bug her, she'll run) , if not then live for yourself.......good luck.....I miss my ex......

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Thanks for the reply,

Yeah I know how you feel.. Like your ex mine gave me alot of chances also. I have thought about it and I still love her and want to be with her , I mean I think of her as a wife and the mother of my children. She was so good to me and giving when we were together, she did everything for me. And I on the other hand never accepted that we had relationship problems at the end of it so that I could work on it, she did but I didn't. I pretty much took her for granted which I shouldn't have.

I guess time will tell. As I say this , I was just speaking to the girl that I'm dating now on the phone and she is coming to my place tomorrow after work.. I'm confused.....

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dear bubbamackdaddy,

 

i am going through hell myself right now - just thought id read a sample thread b4 i post my prob... but something jumped out at me regarding ur situation, cos ive been there before. basically after being dumped by a girl i liked a lot i dived straight into a relationship with a girl i liked for a while. tall, blonde, beautiful. but sayings are there for a reason - "don't go out with someone on the rebound". basically i couldnt get my ex outta my head and after almost getting married to this beautiful blonde decided tat i just couldnt do it and dumped her and now have lost her forever (married)

 

my point is this: ur obviously not over your ex yet (maybe there's still a fire to be rekindled there but anyway....). if you think you rate this new bird at all and may get serious about her one day then don't screw things up! slow things down with her and resume full steam when ur definitely over your ex. otherwise like me you'll lose her forever.

 

this is relevant to your current situation with your ex because if that happens (which it could) you'll then be left even more depressed about your ex because inside you will blame her for ruining a potentially amazing relationship.

 

good luck.

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