the worst timing

[stacy198]

i don't know what to do!!! i want to be committed and in a romantic relationship with this guy. we've enjoyed everything about eachother- the conversation, the company and the sex.

for the past two months we've been long distance, calling and writing. i don't know where we stand. he says he doesn't know the answer either.

how do i bring up all the topics of our future?

he has said in the past that a relationship is serious and because i didn't take that moment to talk about all our issues and us, i feel he might not trust me and think i have bad intentions.

what do i do? i love this man. i want to make sure i give him the patience and space he needs. (i usually need more patience and space than he requires).

how do i deal with this situation; especially now that he's in another state and going to a funeral.

HELP!!!!

[charmed]

Hi Stacy !

 

Communication is the answer.

 

In a long distance relationship, the only way that you interact and keep the relationship alive is through communication - be that via phone, mail, letter or smoke signals !

 

So let him know that you are serious and don't let your fears of what you "think" he is thinking hinder your ability to call him, talk to him, and set both your minds at ease

 

Hope this helps you some,

[stacy198]

dear person- thanks so much for your reply.

when would be the right time to tell him my feelings. i shut myself off in the past and he's at a funeral now. i just feel i would be causing him pain at a difficult time.

i'm so anxious and yet i feel i should refrain for the sake of his feelings. do i go with these instincts?

i've sent him a sympathy card and i called him twice to let him know i would be there for him.

i feel useless.

thanks

stacy

[charmed]

Hi Stacy !

 

You would be right to wait a while until this time passes over for him. He may well be confused, and funerals bring up all sorts of things.

 

Make sure you are close for him, and remain in contact every few days - get him to ring you in a day or two. Perhaps you could arrange to go and see him ?

 

Hang in there, and show him how nice you are

[stacy198]

thanks again for the advice. i've been keeping myself positive, working on myself and my other relationships. (specifically one with my sister). it's been tough for us. my dad sexually abused us and we opened about it a couple of times. we feel resentment toward my mother; especially these days when she is trying to buy the grandchildren gifts and try to salvage a decent relationship with them and not her own kids.

it's such a long story.

point is- i feel frustrated with the relationship my mother and i have. i get along with her at a distance. anyway, i have no respect for her. i care and love her, but it can be difficult.

sometimes i feel there's some frustration within me from my past that is not settled. (relationships in paticular)....anyhow- i'll figure it out and i'm glad i can realize these things now.

back to this wonderful man i don't want to lose.

i want to ask...should i wait for him to ask about a visit- considering i screwed up the last chance i had. i would like to invite him to florida where i can show him around, have a good time and talk more.

we also talked about travelling together (when we were a couple). can i bring that up ever again? he actually wants to go, as well as myself, to ireland. we talked about settling down in oregon when the time would be right.

i feel like we only touched on certain topics, but were to afraid to ponder and work through. i want us to do this, but without pressure.

thanks

[stacy198]

hi

i was able to talk to tim; which was awhile. he's still with his family in mourning.

i have been myself and wanting to communicate with him. i just feel as if things are being forced on my end. i never know what is appropriate. i want to see him, but i don't know if he wants to see me.

it's silly to wait for an invitation or his approval. i miss him a lot.

i also keep questioning my placement- being away from him.

i only want to be financially and career stable before we're together.

how do i express all these issues. (one at a time? all at once? when is it ever the right time?)

i miss him and i need him for companionship in so many ways.

help