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first date went really well... what next?

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I had a first date with someone I met on the internet. We had a great time, we spent the whole day together. He wants to do something again next weekend.


I have questions because it's been years since I had a second date.


This guy (for giggles we'll name him ray) Ray is new to the area where I live. He's been here for about 3 months. He told me that he joined the dating site because he didnt know anyone in the area and wanted to meet people. He didnt really mention about getting into a relationship or anything. Our date was pretty platonic, we went hiking and talked about ourselves and things-the way that I like it. I am attracted to him, and would definitely like to get to know him better. I guess here is where my inexperience comes into play.


I shot him an email this morning just to tell him that I had a great time and that we should do that again.. He sent me an email back saying that he did have a good time too. He wants me to give him a call later on in the week so that I could leave him a message at his house. He is in the navy and will be going to go out on a short mission. he also told me in the email that if he did have email capability on his ship that we could email back and forth while he is out.


This guy is on my same mental level. I dont want to lose what I think could be a great catch. We seem to be very mentally compatible, we can talk for hours.


I don't want to chase him away. I have the tendency to chase guys off because I come off as too assertive. I am a strong woman, and wouldnt hesitate to call a guy to go out. Sometimes I come accross as too eager, maybe even needy at times. Ijust like talking with people that I am compatible with.


How can I keep myself in "check" so as to give this potential relationship or friendship a fair shot? I'm not even really sure how he wants it to go.

Any advice would be helpful.




I have a question about those email dating things. On my profile I put down that I am trying to quit smoking (which I am) and he doesnt really want a smoker (he put no way) should I be concerned? We have yet to discuss that personal yet.



an older (but still novice) dater.

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Hey! By the look of your post, you are off to a great start with this guy. I think a second date is very likely! While he is out on his mission, you should just sit back and relax. I know you dont want to lose him, but you dont want to push him away either. It is a VERY good sign that he a) emailed you back b) agreed in having a great time and c) said he would call you! Just wait for his call... there is nothing more you can do. Start thinking about second date ideas that could help you learn more about each other with a chance to create some intimacy!


And I wouldn't stress too much about the smoking thing. You are trying to quit, which shows a sign of motivation and determination. He'll like that! I had a similar sitaution where my exbf smoked and I couldnt stand it... it really meant alot to me when he said he was trying to quit AND DID! (as part of his valentine's day gift to me) I was very impressed and never held it against him after that!


Good luck!!

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