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why me???


musicguy
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My fiancee just met this new guy best friend, she's all excited that she met a new best friend. she sent me a text message and she said don't get mad. well my heart sank and I broke down and cried, text messaged her back and said "I've lost you" and now she won't talk to me. I just want to talk to her and tell her how I feel about this. This is gonna end up bad, I know it

 

 

 

musicguy

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now now musicguy! lets keep the faith here!!

 

ok ok, so your fiancee got this new guy friend. i can understand why you would react as you have. i know we hear alot of stories about how she leaves the guy she's with to run away with so and so bla bla bla. but there are also positive stories. because this has happened, it doesnt mean you have lost her

 

now try and keep calm! we're all here for you! the only advice i can give you now is to wait. do not jump to conclusions, because you might end up driving her in the direction your against. this is where people mess up. they push and push and actually create the conclusion they didnt want the whole time. instead, try and talk to her normally, and ask about him, like is he nice, good friend? and so on.

 

try to accept the fact that she's made a "FRIEND"! you dont know him. he might be married, with a girlfriend, and a real decent person. things like this happen for a reason, dont always think the worst.

call her later, and tell her it took you by surprise, but your glad to see that she is happy, and that she's found a friend! she sounds lovely from your other posts about her, so try and still believe that she will be loyal to you!

 

best wishes to you musicguy! you'll be fine, just believe in your relationship, and you cant go wrong!

 

*+*+*Materia_Goddess*+*+*

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My fiancee just met this new guy best friend, she's all excited that she met a new best friend. she sent me a text message and she said don't get mad. well my heart sank and I broke down and cried, text messaged her back and said "I've lost you" and now she won't talk to me. I just want to talk to her and tell her how I feel about this. This is gonna end up bad, I know it

 

 

 

musicguy

 

musicguy.... I think your suspicions are probably well founded... you are probably going to lose her... if not to this new male "friend", then probably to some other new "friend".

 

For whatever reasons, many People that we love & care about simply do NOT have the TOOLS neccesary to RETURN Love in the same manner or in a manner that makes us FEEL Loved. Many times it's due to some form of abuse in their past (sexual, physical or mental... what have you) People from extremely abusive backgrounds and dysfunctional families find it difficult to form lasting and/or bonding relationships in order to protect themselves from emotional pain. They usually suffer from abandonment & rejection issues themselves and it's a sad, but many People in this World are just so 'broken' that lasting & meaningful Relationhships will never be a reality for them because many never come to acknowledgement or enlightenment (for whatever reasons) in coming to terms with, & seeking healing paths or (options) regarding the dysfunctional arenas of their past and/or childhood, so thereforeeee, they just go through Life running from relationship to relationship (which usually never last very long).

 

Broken People can only live broken Lives until they come to terms with, and seek help for the broken-ness.

 

It does concern me that she, being your fiance, seems to be unwilling to communicate with you regarding this matter.

 

Your lack of details concerning the Relationship doesn't give me much to go on, but it's evident you have invested a lot emotionally into this Person and you're in pain over this.

 

You NEED to KNOW something from her. My suggestion is that you try to contact her about this again. IF she continues to remain silent, then for whatever reasons, her silence is an ominous indicator and if I were you, I'd try to move forward with my Life. You can't FIX this. You can't FIX what's broken with her. You can only fix what's broken with you.

 

This advice was given in Love.

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hm, i respect your viewpoint blonde, but i dont agree!

 

i dont believe that because of ones past, or experience, their wholes lives will follow the same pattern. people can change!

 

and i believe she would not break off the relationship because of musicguys reaction to something. there are many factors we are uncertain of, like her state of mind at the time. she may have already been angry about something, and so this further pushed her.

 

you cant give up on a relationship because of assumptions! if it was like that, no one would ever have a lasting relationship!

 

musicguy, please dont give up yet. you do not know enough to make any decisions right now. just stay calm. try and give her some space, then ask her whats going on.

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Hunny,please hold fire for a bit.

You didnt want to take your life before all this happened did you? I know your hurting worse than ever at the moment,but i dont think you should be making any decisions while your in this state of mind!

 

Hang in there for a bit,trust me,ive been there,but once you do that theres no turning back,thats it forever.And i know you want the chance to be happy.Dont give up,you ARE strong and you can talk to your gf,if its really over then you'll know but if its not you can work on it.

 

Either way you dont need to sacrifice yourself,your being for someone that may ot care. Why let her do that to you??

 

Please hold on hun you'll be fine.PM me any time.

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Hey now. Please calm down. You know your fiancee is still shook up after what happened. You may have overreacted a bit to her new guy friend. After all, she was all set to move down to be with you - right? If thats still the plan then you have nothing to worry about.

 

You owe her an apology - big time. You still love her a lot and I'll bet she loves you too. How about a dozen red roses sent to her (or whatever is affordable) together with a card that says "Please forgive me for being an idiot. I love you and can't wait to spend our lives together."

 

Be strong for her. Don't flip out right now, she needs you to be her rock. Admit you overreacted and she will come back - I just know it.

 

PM me if i can help.

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Also..try remembering that what is happening is positive. You've probably just released about 100+ pounds of $hit down the toilet and away from you. That's how you should view this skank.

 

If you try hard enough,you can convince yourself to enjoy this new time apart. You are a NEW SINGLE man about town...go and take a look at what's out there without having to worry about drinking too much or flirting with girls and getting numbers anymore.

 

Life is too short to be made a fool of...get out there and make her look the fool for fu(king you around k ?

 

Good luck and remember..women are nationwide and we've all got about 10,000 soulmates out there. The skank you don't have anymore... wasn't one of them.

 

8)

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Okay mate this is what i see

 

She met a new guy; frankly i am not surprised

 

Dont you think she breaking up with you jsut becasue she made a new guy best friend ...not in this world

 

Buddy ill be frank ...u need to feel better about urself ..i mean dont be so dependent anyone else ... people come and they go all the time no one stays longer than they are interested

 

i would suggest that, worl on ur self image ..u must be happy with urself before u can keep anyone else happy

 

 

See when she said i dont like being treated like this ...it shows that ur hangin on to her like she was a object that made u feel good about urself but did nothing for her self image

 

see she knew you dont trust her ..hey u are engaged to her ...dont u think its a little strange that she feels u dont trust her

 

i am sorry man but YOU HAVE TO HELPURSELF , BELIEVE IN URSELF

 

GOOD LUCK

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