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What should I do about this gut feeling of mine?

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Hi Everyone,

I have a big problem. My boyfriend and I have been through allot for the past few year. We have been together for the past six years(on and off). He moved up north three years ago. I broke up with him because I was getting tried of the long distance relationship. He didn't give up though he kept on coming to town to see me. We would see each other even though we still dated other people. He would ask me every now and then if I still wanted to get back with him and I would tell him not right now I need time to think things trough. After a few months I've been getting my feelings back about him. I will dream about us getting married. I started calling him more and telling how much I miss him. One day he told me that he was dating a girl for the past 8 months but now he has feelings for her. He then said that he didn't know who he wanted to be with. I was very devistated I couldn't sleep or even eat, I was getting sick. The thing is that he would tell me that he wanted to be with me then a week later he would go back to her and he will brake up with me. I finally got fed up with the whole thing and I steped back. I stoped calling I didnt want nothing to do with him. That's when he came to town and told me that he did want to be with me and wanted to work things out. I wasn't so sure about it because this was the second time that he did this but since I am so in love with him, I let my heart decide and said yes. I didn't stop to think about what he did to me in the past. We are now a couple again but I have this gut feeling that he will brake up with me again and take me through all that emotional trip again. It's been two weeks and everything has been good so far but I know that this weekend he is going to bump into that other girl and he might brake up with me again. Or maybe he is serious this time and he really ment what he said. What shoul I do. He never even told me what happen with that other girl. Did he even tell her that we are now a couple or not? I am completley lost. I am also afaid to ask him about her because everything feels so good right now that I don't want to start arguing about this. Please help.

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I understand that you are having a hard time trusting your boyfriend since you got back together. That is understandable! I would tread lightly with this and just sit back and study his behavior. Try to give him the benefit of the doubt now until proven otherwise, now that you've already taken him back. The problem with taking him back repeatedly is that he'll always think you're going to be there no matter how he treats you, so make this the final time. Why do you think he is going to run into this girl? If I were you I would just find a quiet place to talk when the timing is right, when he's not stressed out, and ask him whatever is on your mind. If you can't be honest with him about how you feel then you'll never be comfortable. I know EXACTLY what you mean about not wanting to start a fight by asking a question that's bugging the crap out of you. I feel that way a lot too with my husband... he has an extremely short fuse and it's very tiring to argue with him so sometimes I just let things go that wouldn't matter if he were dead tomorrow. I always try to look at things like that.... sometimes it's hard because it's not always practical but really, if it bothers you, mention it cause it will just build up. Personally I could never take someone back after they've been with someone after me, but that's just me. The wondering of what happened between them, what caused him to want me back, etc. would just drive me insane. But you have made your choice to take him back so now at least give him a chance to prove through his actions how he feels about you. Try not to jump to conclusions until you have proof of something to worry about. That's not to say to be blind, just be smart.


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