Women- please Don't hate me

[tconfused]

I got married four years ago. It has been horrible. WE do not spend time together, Intamacy is a joke, we are like roomates. We have tried working things out with no sucsess on either part. I statred seeing some one else and fell head over heals for her. She was engaged and broke it off with her fiance' after our relationship continued to get stronger. We have both talked of being together and wanting to be together. She started to think that things between me and my wife were getting better and she has gone back to her ex-fiance' (just as friends) Things between me and my wife have actually gotten worse and we are filing for divorce.

I want her (the other woman)) I have never felt like this for anyone, and she says the same. This is not just sex! I have tried to talk to her but she gets irritated and says if it was meant to be it was meant to be (between us) We have so much good together and she hates we are not together. Has she settled and gone back? Do I keep trying to get her to come back or just shut up and give her space?

[Gilgamesh]

Shut up, give her space.

 

If you cant fix things withthe wife, then divorce her, no reason both of you should be unhappy.

 

once you are divorced, then if this girl is serious, she will come to you.

 

words of warning though, she went back to her ex, so you may have been just a rebound relationship, or someone she used to either get back at her ex or make him jealous in attempt to get him back.

 

but she may have decoded that it was better to go back to him than to wait and see if you were ever going to get a divorce.

 

remember one thing, you cheated on your wife, this girl knows this, if you can do it to your wife, your capable of doing it to her. so she is aware of what your capable of.

 

be careful with what you ask for, you might get it. if she cheated on her man to be with you. then your two of a kind. think about that awhile.

[Mar]

Quite honestly, you're really not in a position to call any shots at the moment. I understand that things are bad with you and your wife, but you've been married for a pretty short time! How old are you, if I can ask? What was it about her that made you ask her to marry you? Have you sat down and talked to her about what makes you unhappy, and found out what makes her unhappy about you? Why are you ready to give up on this marriage?

 

In answer to your other question, about this other woman-it's not quite fair to ask her to wait when the divorce process is long and, most of the time, drawn-out. Especially since you're still technically married right now. She has the right to be with who she wants, regardless of how you feel about it. You can certainly tell her you care for her, but you can't ask her to wait. If she cares for you, she will, if she sees you're filing for divorce. I think that, right this second, she's in charge of what she wants to do. Hopefully she'll wait for you, but it depends on your situation and how quickly you can get it resolved. But I'd strongly suggest considering your wife in all of this and whether or not you truly want to end this marriage first! Good luck, I hope you can find some resolution to this.