ARGH - he's making me insane...

[optimistic person]

Girl you have some problems on your hands. Living in the garage is not ok for one but due to circumstances that can't be avoided. Your husband misses you but you don't seem quit comfortable with him calling you nor around and if around you for a period of him. He is hoping that you take him back in your life but you don't want to. You want separartion, in that he will still see you because of the kids and he can be still over there once you let him. Truth you know that your kids are absorbing and watching how each of you act in front of them and they know exactly what is going on. If you keep this up they might think that this kind of behaviour is ok and if it happens to them in the future they might probably act similar. You have too know what is best for you and your kids.

[mealone]

I'm sorry to hear it, but listening helps me, thanks, Like I said I'm in a similar situation and I can see what not to do.

[OmegaMan]

ShadowDancer:

 

As you once helped in times of troubles, so will I in yours.

 

I think you should use a third party to settle this one, otherwise Irrationnality is going to get the best of us and you don't want a divorce settled in an irrationnal mood. A marriage, such an odd human invention (just my opinion ) I won't go into the details on this one as it doesn't have anything to do with your situation...

 

The whole you are my world thing, this is a blatant attempt of unsubtle manipulation, and a dangerous form of it too. He is trying to make you responsible for his inability to cope and accept what is happening. You seem like such a nice person, don't fall into this trap.

 

No offense, but your husband sounds like a chronic manipulator. He even uses flattery to get what he wants, every single form of manipulation is right there. I would suggest reading a book, Those Manipulators Among Us, great way to spot and stop any manipulation attempt.

 

Mine don't seem to count for much. ???!! This is funny, everything you say about your ex fits with a manipulator, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, THESE PEOPLE WILL DRAIN YOU AND LEAVE YOU FOR DEAD. I HAVE TO USE CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE YOU ARE IN A DANGEROUS SITUATION, BELIEVE ME.

 

And the abuse? The pressure?

 

threatened to kill himself when he changed his mind and I didn't throw myself in his arms. More lovely details of what led to this point are in the previous post I referenced...

 

Un***inb believable. Threatening for suicide is THE MOST toxic form of manipulation. You probably think there are no laws to protect you from him, you're wrong. CALL THE POLICE, GET A LAWYER. I cannot stress this enough, he is unhappy, his aim is to destroy you in any possible. Don't you see how he explained everything he hated about you just so you felt bad? I think it's inhumane to force you to accept him because of suicide threats. YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THAT!! Unless you kill him, HE has the control over his life, not you. If he decides to blow his head off, it's up to him, don't take this on your shoulder, PLEASE!!!

 

RUN OUT OF PATIENCE, THIS IS YOUR BEST BET! You've tolerated too much already, time to set your foot down goddammit! Tolerance is very dangerous, I think it's better to be untolerant and say straigth out what gets on your nerves than shut up and endure. This man is dangerous... BEWARE. TAKE THIS POST SERIOUSLY, I have experienced the devastation of manipulation, please don't suffer as I did. The time as come to defend yourself!

 

A worried Omega Man, Most Motivated Fighter of Manipulators.