StarLily Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 I just transferred to a university from a community college. I live at home. I was so excited about college, thinking about all the friends I would find and hopefully a boyfriend. School started on Aug. 27 But... it seems impossible to find any new friends, especially a boyfriend. I feel like such a loner. I don't know ANYONE at my school. I have NO friends.. not even outside of school.. I feel like I'm back in high school. When I walk around the campus, I feel like I'm the ugliest person there. I think that when people stare at me, they think about how rediculous I look. Yesterday I was even so desperate that when my car wouldn't start, instead of calling the campus parking services, I asked guy that was walking by if he could help me out. He did and he was nice but after he was done, he just left. I felt sooo ugly. But today something nice actually happened. You know when you walk to your car on the parking lot, and this car is "following" you, wanting to take your spot because there are no spaces there? Well this cute guy was following me and when I pulled out of the prking spot, he waved at me, smiled, and looked like he said "thanks". Since then I've been thinking whether or not he was just being polite or did it because he thought I was cute... I mean it's not like I did him a favor by leaving the spot. I was going to do it anyway. I just keep thinking about little things like this all the time... I hate it. I haven't felt like this since high school. Every girl seems prettier than me and I feel like I was rediculous when I was hoping for a boyfriend. I feel that next to those girls, who would ever look at me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Aww Star, it seems like the main thing making it seem like highschool for you is that your mentality is still stuck in that highschool clique mode. You gotta stretch out your wings girlfriend. Its college. Shed that highschool mentality. If you walk around thinking you are ugly people will pick up a vibe from you even if they can't read your thoughts. You are as deserving as happy times as anyone in that school. Start feeling that and the rest will occur hon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarLily Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 . You gotta stretch out your wings girlfriend. Its college. Shed that highschool mentality. How? I thought I did. I loved myself for like a year... and now it's all gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samedy Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 University can be a very isolating experience. At the same time, University can be a time of self-discovery and growth. Don't stress the little things. The guy who helped you with his car, that's a normal experience. Take it as a compliment that he even stopped and helped you. A lot of people would just walk past someone, or make a lame excuse, not to help someone. See if there are any clubs you can join at your University, based on YOUR interests, not where you think the cute boys are going to be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puff.tm.dragon Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 OMG STAR I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM !!! DO YOU KNOW HOW AWESOME YOU ARE1?! I WOULD SOOO TALK TO YOU AND WE'LL BE LIKE BFF ON CAMPUS TOTALYL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarLily Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 University can be a very isolating experience. At the same time, University can be a time of self-discovery and growth. Don't stress the little things. The guy who helped you with his car, that's a normal experience. Take it as a compliment that he even stopped and helped you. A lot of people would just walk past someone, or make a lame excuse, not to help someone. See if there are any clubs you can join at your University, based on YOUR interests, not where you think the cute boys are going to be I was reserching a lot about clubs during the summer and was sooo determined to join one... but now I'm just scared. I think that all the other club members are going to think "what is SHE doing here? She doesn't fit with us" I am so screwed up. In the summer threads like this sounded rediculous to me... now I'm the one making it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarLily Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 OMG STAR I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM !!! DO YOU KNOW HOW AWESOME YOU ARE1?! I WOULD SOOO TALK TO YOU AND WE'LL BE LIKE BFF ON CAMPUS TOTALYL LOL You do? I hope I'm not the only one. Which Springfield? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaoticbaby Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 I think you have to remind yourself that not everybody, in fact not most people, on campus are actively looking for a relationship. So some guy helped you and didn't beg for you number afterwards? So what. Maybe he had a girlfriend, or maybe he wasn't interested in getting to know anybody at that moment. Maybe he was late for work. I think your getting too caught up in watching for other people's reactions to you. I used to think the same way as you... that everybody looked at me and thought I was weird and ugly. Then I took a psychology class in college. My teacher assigned us all a number, and then asked us to stand up one by one and state our name and assigned number. When we stood up, everyone in class was to scribble down what their first impression was of us. Then on the back of that paper, write down nothing but whether they were male or female. Then fold their paper, hand it to the professor, the professor mixes it up, and then hands it to you. In my hand I had 36 anonymous first impressions of me. And you know what? Half the guys and even some of the girls wrote that I was "cute" "pretty" and even "gorgeous." I also got sweet, great personality, funny, and so on. Yeah I got a few negative ones, but they were just stupid things from catty girls like "conceited" and "dresses like a stripper" [i was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a tshirt so i dont know about that one.] anyway, my point is that we are so hung up on what we THINK people think of us, but we really have no idea. You know how many guys I tried flirting with that didn't automatically jump for my number? Don't make yourself so worried about it. And by the way... most people don't know eachother on the first day of classes... so you're not alone there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cichlid Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 Want to meet people? Talk to people in class is a start. When I start new classes and it's an unfamiliar crowd, the first thing I do is start talking with people around me about small things. If I don't get think that they want to talk to me, I will sit in a different spot the next period and see how these people are. Keep conversation light and small at first. I usually avoid people walking around on campus unless I know them. Then I will stop and chat or just say hi and keep walking. The best thing you can do is to get involved in an organization! But look around at different organizations until you find one that you feel comfortable with. I've been to some that are very clique-like... and others that are very welcoming and the people will go up and introduce themselves to complete strangers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puff.tm.dragon Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 LOL You do? I hope I'm not the only one. Which Springfield? I GO TO GMU *CROSSES FINGERS* U? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsosk88 Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 I'm in a similar situation. I'm in my second year at uni and feel this way. I had friends last year but I pretty much screwed that up by focusing too much on my studies and not hanging around with them at all. Because of that I rarely see them around anymore and they rarely call me up to do something. Sucks being alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarLily Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 I'm taking a psychology class right now... Wow I wish we would do such an experiment.. but probably not. It would be such a confidence booster! No one ever tells the truth but they would in this case. Now I even want to suggest it to my professor lol... 250 people... maybe not.. but it would be so cool! I wish I could try making friends... but I feel weird just sitting my someone and introducing myself... Do you guys find that weird when people do it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarLily Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 I GO TO GMU *CROSSES FINGERS* U? What you go to George Mason? What the... WOW me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samedy Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 I was reserching a lot about clubs during the summer and was sooo determined to join one... but now I'm just scared. I think that all the other club members are going to think "what is SHE doing here? She doesn't fit with us" I am so screwed up. In the summer threads like this sounded rediculous to me... now I'm the one making it. Just do it! No one is going to think that! The other people who join by themselves are going to be relieved there is someone else like them. The other people who joined with friends, will admire your for you moxie to join by yourself. Everyone else? Who cares what they think? What are some of the clubs you want to join? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaoticbaby Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 ^Lol, it wasn't meant to be a confidence booster, actually. It was an experiment to show us that half of what we think we project, and a lot of what we think people percieve about us, are wrong. And he was right! And I did get negative answeres, like I said, but most of them were wayy more positive then I would have thought. The girl next to me was almost in tears because everybody kept calling her a b...female dog. I just wanted to show you that what you THINK people think of you, and what they actually think of you are probably two separate things. I never know anyone in my classes either, and the feeling of being negatively judged has always held me back. But I really tried to open myself up more and be more friendly, and I made a few friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarLily Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 Just do it! No one is going to think that! The other people who join by themselves are going to be relieved there is someone else like them. The other people who joined with friends, will admire your for you moxie to join by yourself. Everyone else? Who cares what they think? What are some of the clubs you want to join? Well I was looking into a film club.. it sponsors free movies on eh one of the nights of the week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puff.tm.dragon Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 What you go to George Mason? What the... WOW me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaoticbaby Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 ^^ ahahahah that is way too cool. i want to meet someone from my college on heree. lol actually no i don't because then they'll know all my problems before i get to actually tell them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cichlid Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 I wish I could try making friends... but I feel weird just sitting by someone and introducing myself... Do you guys find that weird when people do it? No, I love it when people introduce themselves to me! Usually though, a comment is made and then something like, "Oh, BTW, I'm Liz!" I've always thought it was odd to introduce yourself before making at least some comment to a person. Yet that is just me. ETA: Film club sounds like fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 What you go to George Mason? What the... WOW me too. WOW! small world! That is where i got my Project Mangement Certs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puff.tm.dragon Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 ^^ ahahahah that is way too cool. i want to meet someone from my college on heree. lol actually no i don't because then they'll know all my problems before i get to actually tell them. everyone has problems, i have them too, i don't care about that in friends unless they confess to murder on ENA or somethin then i would be scared Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaoticbaby Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 lol, liz, i agree with that. one day i was talking to a friend, and we happened to be in the middle of a group of a bunch of girls she knew. suddenly one of the girls sprang out from the middle of the circle and told me her name. i was kind of stunned for a second, then introduced myself to her as well. we never did become friends after that, i wonder why.. puff... yeah i dont mind my friends having problems, since i have plenty =] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarLily Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 ^^ ahahahah that is way too cool. i want to meet someone from my college on heree. lol actually no i don't because then they'll know all my problems before i get to actually tell them. ROFL that's what I was thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarLily Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 WOW! small world! That is where i got my Project Mangement Certs... You're from VA? Small world indeed.. I am shocked. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaoticbaby Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 woah, i have yet to meet anyone on here from the same state, let alone the same college. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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