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Another online dating question


hueman84

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So I finally got to the point where the girl wants to go out on a date for Friday. We have only talked on AIM so far and have been in communication for a month, but during out last conversation (on monday) she gave me her number and said if I wanted to get a hold of her that way I should call it because she isnt always on AIM. I dont really plan on calling her until tomorrow (just to get things straightened out with whats happening for Friday). My plan is just to basically go out to dinner and then a game of mini-golf. So my question here is, should I just meet her at wherever were going, or do I pick her up? And is my plan for calling her the day before were supposed to go out work? Also is it weird if she gave me her number on Monday and I still haven't called her?

 

I guess you could say I've never been on a real date before because my first girlfriend was my first serious relationship and I just met her at college and we kind of skipped past the whole dating phase. Don't get me wrong I am not looking for anything serious right now, i'm not even really looking for a girlfriend...I just plan on dating around a bit and getting used to it and whatever happens happens.

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I don't think its necessarily weird that you haven't called her yet. It IS only Wednesday. I wouldn't wait TOO long before not talking to her at all tho -

 

I personally think you should just meet her at the place you'll be taking her to for dinner. If all goes well there, then you can drive her to the mini-golf place and back to her car later. OR - she can decide she'd rather drive herself.

 

I mean....unless she doesn't drive and would need a ride - then you'll prolly have to pick her up anyway....

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I would offer to pick her up, but acknowledge that she might want to just meet you there. Some women won't get into a car with a man they don't know well. Let her decide that one.

 

Don't wait too long to call her. She'll want to know what time, how to dress, etc. Nothing wrong with laying out the plan in advance. Some people like a confirmation a day or more before.

 

have fun!

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Don't wait too long to call her. She'll want to know what time, how to dress, etc. Nothing wrong with laying out the plan in advance. Some people like a confirmation a day or more before.

 

have fun!

 

agreed. if a girl gives you her phone number. . . then she wanted you to call. it doesn't have to be a philsophical discussion, just a:

 

"hey, wassup, was thinking about you. pick you up on friday at 5? cool. laters"

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I would offer to pick her up, but acknowledge that she might want to just meet you there. Some women won't get into a car with a man they don't know well. Let her decide that one.

 

Don't wait too long to call her. She'll want to know what time, how to dress, etc. Nothing wrong with laying out the plan in advance. Some people like a confirmation a day or more before.

 

have fun!

 

 

Ask if she would like you to pick her up, but she might decline I always meet my dates at the place as it is public and as I don't know them it is safer for the first few dates from womens perspective.

 

Call her today, a day in advance is good, keep the convo short just make your arrangements, you don't want to run out of things to say when you meet for your date.

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well went out on the date tonight. I dont feel that any real connection was made. We talked went to dinner and then went mini-golfing. We had a good time, talked the entire time and had good conversation (at least I assume so). At one point during mini-golf one of my friends called and was like "yo were going to see Balls of Fury in an hour, if you want you should ask that girl to come too". So I told her what was up and that if she wanted to go she should come. She replied by asking me what the movie was about and what-not and never really gave me an answer. So we played mini-golf for the next hour and that was about it. I dropped her off at her car (I drove her to mini-golf from the restaurant) and she was just like "It was nice finally meeting you in person" and I just said "yea it was nice meeting you too" and she was just like "ill talk to you later though, bye" and she got out and left.

 

All-in-all I guess neither of us felt a connection, but we had a good time just hanging out playing mini-golf. I wouldn't mind going on another date, but I dont know if she would want to.

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Well, sounds like it turned out decently at least! Sometimes we can second-guess ourselves when we don't feel a connection. But I'd say, if you weren't annoyed or repulsed by her, you might as well ask her out again. If she says no, then no harm done. If she says yes, you can see if maybe there's more there than you thought!

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Well, sounds like it turned out decently at least! Sometimes we can second-guess ourselves when we don't feel a connection. But I'd say, if you weren't annoyed or repulsed by her, you might as well ask her out again. If she says no, then no harm done. If she says yes, you can see if maybe there's more there than you thought!

 

haha yea, i guess thats a good evaluation of the situation. I'm talking to her online right now actually and I just asked her if she ever wants to go out again, then I am up for it. Should I take her response as a serious one, or just beating around the bush?

 

here is butt end of the conversation.

 

Me: just want to say, I had a lot of fun too...if your up to it, im always up to going out again

Her: yeah sure i'll be back in philly most weekends in sept/oct

Me: sounds good to me, keep me updated and we can plan something

Her: alright

 

Only reason why I ask if its just beating around the bush is because the first time I asked her out (like a month ago) she was like "yea let me check my work schedule" and she just stopped talking to me for the whole next week. I considered it a lost cause until she started IMing me again and I asked her out again not long after that and that turned into this date. Also during this date she had told me she had gone out with a couple of other guys this summer, and one was even like a week ago apparently, but she was telling me how they were all crazy and what-not...so that was a bit of a turn-off to me. Only because it made me think that she had been so flaky on me before because she was going out with someone else. I wasnt turned off by her dating another person, just by the fact that she had probably been flaky to me because of it.

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Yeah, it's never fun to feel like you're the "back up" while she checks out other guys. But on the other hand, if someone's dating around, they can't keep in touch with everyone at the same time. If I were a guy, I would just wait and see at this point. Next time it's close to the weekend and you're IMing, just ask her if she's up for anything, or say, "Hey, I'm planning on going to (wherever) on Saturday, wanna come along?" Then you'll get a sense of whether she's interested.

 

Sounds to me like she might be keeping the door open, but she's not committing to anything at this point.

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if she was your gf, how did you skip the dating phase?

 

to the rest of the post....it is your first meeting, i'd meet up somewhere. don't pick her up.

 

haha well its complicated I guess. We both agreed that we never had a real first date. While she still had a bf (at the time) we would go to each others room and watch movies. Just as friends at the time. I sat on a chair next to her bed and she sat on her bed, so it wasnt physical or anything. This happened like 2-3 times. By the third time she had already broken up with her bf at the time because she found out he cheated on her while she was at school. They werent super serious or anything, so I guess thats why she had no problem moving on from him. I guess she knew I was interested in her so by that third movie she invited me to lie in her bed next to her and we ended up sleeping together (nothing sexual, just sleeping in the same bed together). By the next day we agreed to start seeing each other.

 

Oh yea, as for the girl this thread is about...I have decided its not worth it. I texted her a couple of days after the date to just be like a "hey, whats up? how is your day going?" type of text and she never responded. So I just assume she isnt interested. Back to the drawing board.

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seems like you were kind of dating though. even though she had a bf, you were seeing her and spending time with her. i still consider that dating. anyways, i'd be wary of a girl like that. she just left her bf and attached to you. no way for me.

 

yea i know better now...thus the reason why I am no longer in a relationship with her and I dont even talk to her anymore.

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