Is this how it's supposed to be?

[Daligal83]

I started my first full-time job a little over 3 months ago. This job is something I decided I wanted to do about 4 years ago and have worked toward it ever since. I studied specifically to do this and strongly believe in it's cause. But now that I'm really in it...I'm not liking it at all. I still have the same beliefs, but I don't feel like I can carry out those beliefs in the workplace. And I don't think it's because of where I work, I think it's the nature of the job.

 

It's a thankless job. I'm constantly dealing with stressful situations, people complaining and demanding things of me. I rarely hear a thankful. I mean my supervisor will tell me when I do something well...but the people we are trying to help usually see us as the bad guy.

 

It's completely mentally exhausting. It's hard for me to get my brain off of work after hours. I go to the gym after work for stress relief and while I'm happy during that time, as soon as I'm done I'm back to being unhappy. I don't want to do anything social during the week because I have no energy and I just want to veg out before I have to go to bed and start another day. My boyfriend and most of my friends are all in school, so they can still take the weekdays to have fun. At least right now while school is just beginning. I feel like even when I do get to go out, I don't enjoy myself.

 

I'm just so unhappy all the time and I'm sick of it. But I don't want to quit because I think it looks bad to leave a job so early. I want to stick it out for at least a year, unless I get a state job before then. The thing is, I don't know what career would make me happy. I don't know if my unhappiness is due to this specific field or if all jobs will be like this. Has anyone else gone through this?

[ElektraHere]

What is the job that you do?

[Daligal83]

I'm a foster care caseworker.

[ElektraHere]

Ohhh! I hate to say it but the writing was on the wall. Foster care is a tough field to be in because you are dealing with high emotions, thankless hours, and draining of the psyche.

 

Have you thought that perhaps you could become a guardian ad litem? Something that will help be a strong voice for children who really need it.

[Batya33]

As my mother loves to say "your thank you is your paycheck" - anything else is gravy. My friend has been doing a similar job for about 17 years for her state's social work agency. Honestly, I don't know how she does it but she does it wonderfully. She is a heroine. However, she has the same issues you do and worse given the amount of time she has been doing this.

 

If you PM me we can discuss whether you would like to chat with her. She is about to have her first child, so it might not be right away, but she is a great person and loves to help people.

[Daligal83]

I knew that it was going to be tough...but I didn't realize how draining. I can't even do what I was taught was important because of the amount of paperwork and just other things we have to deal with. I know every job has it's pitfalls, which is why I'm not sure if I'm just not meant for this field or if I'll feel this way with every job.

 

I really just want to find a way to be happy. I feel like everyday is the same. Wake up, deal with work, go to the gym if I get back early enough, have dinner, maybe see my boyfriend, go to bed, repeat. I don't look forward to the next day at all. Unless it's Friday haha.

 

I think I want a state job. If I'm not going to enjoy work, I'd at least like to get paid better and have better benefits.

[Daligal83]

Sorry Elektra, I forgot about your guardian ad litem suggestion. I think you need a law degree for that. And I don't know if it'd be any different. I think they're even more overworked than we are.

 

Batya, I'll PM you.

[glegend]

I have to congratulate you on choosing a career that you like and have worked your way into it.

I've experienced a similar thing. 2 times to be exact. The first time it was cause I was lugging shopping carts around for a grocery store, which was not getting me mentally stressed out but physically. I used to drive to work but after I couldn't cause I was too tired to even stand up. I also had the problem that I was constantly outside in the parking lot with only a windbreaker that they provided + it was weird weather. Its wasn't spring yet but winter wasn't quite over. Final result I quit.

The second time it happened was recently. I got a job at Starbucks which made me mentally stressed out because I was supposed to know everything about the job before starting it. Basically all the complaints you were getting I was getting as well not only from the customers but my co-workers as well Until one night I blew my lid and let my temper get the best of me and I ended up quiting.

Both jobs weren't the best. I was great full that I got them, but I had no choice to leave my health was at risk.

[schueysgirl]

I know exactly what you mean about when first get into the proper full time work. I love working with children its all ive ever wanted to do, and being a primary school teacher was my dream. I havent managed (despite all ive done) to get a primary teacher training course following uni, and i currently work as a nursery nurse to pay the bills. Talk about a thankless job. The boss is a money grabber....i work on minimum wage being a mom to these kids for 10 hours a day, and she only pays minimum wage but charges over the odds per day for each child.

 

My hours are 7.45 am till 5.45pm. With that I get an hour lunch break. But I am only paid for an 8 hour day...oh and by the way my lunch break consists of me still in the room with the kids, whilst eating my lunch, because the boss wont pay anyone to cover our lunchbreaks and it is incorrect to leave just one member of staff in the room with all the children.

 

No wonder there is no one near decent working as a nursery nurse for a long period of time in the UK. I love the kids when im there. But when i get home i am as unhappy as you. I am ok tho because this was only a stop gap to make a little bit of money whilst waiting for the teacher training...but now im not even getting in on that.

 

But yes i am also fed up of the get up very early, go to work, go to the gym to relieve the stress of the day, but once im home thats it, i also have no energy to go out and see people. I just do this at weekends. I also cannot sleep. Altho the job physically tires me just because of the long hours, early mornings. I do nothing mentally with my brain. I just sit there and play with 4 year olds and supervise them all day. We do one curiculum lead activity, but thats it, 20 mins of the day. So when i come to bed my brain is not tired and i lie awake...i kid you not some nights i simply do not sleep at all.

 

So hence why i have handed my notice in. And i have given up for now on the teacher training. and i am going back to uni to do something completely different and my other passion, motorsport.

 

But i just wanted to saw i know exactly how you feel!!!!