Suffering about something.

[OmegaMan]

I'm 26.

 

I used to feel very attactive as

 

1. everyone would tell me every once in a while

2. I felt it was easy to establish relationships with girl.

 

I know, this is going to sound like no problem at all.

 

I'm a teacher at university. There's another teacher my age.

 

I don't know for a fact, but I think girls are very attracted to him.

 

Now, I don't this isn't what really bothers me, here's what bothers me.

 

As I said, I used to be very attractive, but now, at 26, I don't feel very attractive anymore.

 

My hair is almost completely white now, at 26. And the whitening is starting in my beard as well.

 

I've really had issues about this for a long time.

 

I've done so much research on the topic, trying to find a way to somehow reverse this.

 

I'm dying my hair right now, but it looks odd in my opinon. I also really don't feel comfortable with the whole dying.

 

What makes me suffer is that this guy gets a lot of attention, and I used to but I don't feel like I do anymore.

 

You know, at 26, to feel like you already look too *old* is really hard to accept.

 

I know, appearances is not important. Well it is for me.

 

I'm not bothered by people being more attractive than I am. There's a lot of them out there who are more attractive than I am.

 

What bothers me is feeling unattractive because of my age while I'm still so young.

 

I'm thinking: "Wow, is that it? Is it over already?"

 

I feel bad for hiding the fact that I have white hair. The whole thing is really uncomfortable. Always worrying if it's showing, if the color is right.

 

I do think that being attractive, so much as a little bit, has something to do with confidence.

 

It's difficult being used to having success with women and then feel just so plain so early in one's life.

 

I also think it's unfair in a way. I mean I am an anxious person, but I've met other people who were much more stressed than I was without so much as a single white hair.

 

This thing is causing me a lot of mental anguish. A lot.

 

I don't really know why I'm writing this, but I just to talk about it.

 

I'm not looking for other people telling me: "Yeah, I feel plain as well. It sucks." I don't think that helps at all.

 

What I'm looking for is a solution.

 

You know, deep down, I would just like to go natural and screw the whole dying thing. But I tried once, and I was devasted to look at the state of my hair, devastated.

 

Is it really selfish of me and unreasonable to think that way?

 

I'm struggling to remain positive but I haven't slept for so long, that it's hard to do so.

 

I don't want to be negative. I really don't. But sometimes it just feels overbearing.

 

I think most people would feel the same way in my situation. Observing on a daily basis that guy getting attention without so much as lifting a finger and thinking that you also used to be that way.

 

The thing is, I usually drink plenty of water and fruits and exercise and try to get a lot of sleep.

 

But to be really honest, I often come short of this set path.

 

Sometimes I just get so annoyed with myself because I don't take my responsability. I sometimes lack the discipline to go to bed early when I know I should because it's good for my health.

 

I also know what I should eat but I also sometimes don't do that.

 

Interestingly, I'm very disciplined when it comes to exercise.

 

I am in the south of China and everyone told me: "You should get some vaccine done." I thought it would be fine and didn't check about that. As it turns out I do need vaccine. I didn't take my responsabilities.

 

I don't know why I sometimes don't take my responsabilities. Is it because I don't want to make an effort? Maybe it is, but I really want to shake this one off.

 

Why am I posting this? To vent I guess.

 

I've got trouble understanding myself.

 

I know what's bad for me and I still do it.

For instance, I know stress is bad for me but I still make a really big deal out of very small things. Same thing with eating right.

 

I know I'm completely responsible for my life. I know if my hair turned white so early is because I didn't take good care of myself. Lack of sleep, bad alimentation, not enough exercise, a lot of unnecessary stress.

 

I have changed over the years, going from being secluded and spending sleepless night playing games on my computer to travelling all over the world, going running 10kms daily and drinking water and eating fruits and refusing to isolate myself.

 

But I mean, why don't I just change the other thing which need improvement and be done with it.

 

Well that's it. Thanks for reading. I just had to say it. I didn't want to hide it anymore. I didn't.

 

Am I being shallow and overly superficial for dying my hair? I've been doing that for a long time, maybe 6 years so it started really early.

 

It's parly in my genes, but I also feel that I'm responsible for that. My brother is older than I am and doesn't have a single white hair.

 

I really would appreciate comments, but I would appreciate honest ones.

 

When I was 16 I had a really bad acne problem and was alone, completely by myself. I took some medicine for that and I the acne went away, and it really did give me back some confidence back then. A huge amount.

 

I was eating right back then either. Eating right has never been one of those things I really cared about in my education.

 

I'm not blaming my parents, they're really awesome and I think they gave me a good education. But IF I had known, I would've been so much more careful.

 

I don't want to end up posting daily here, on ena either. I do think that would be counter productive.

 

I'll be 27 soon and I just don't want to be one of those people, being desperate for being with someone and putting ads in newspapers and all that. I don't.

 

Well, that's it for now. Thanks for reading. I'm going back to bed. I'll read your replies when I get up.

[Vanishing Girl]

I'm going to be honest with you....i don't think there is anything you can do to reverse this process....my grandpa said he started getting white hair at the same age as you. I think it's something that you're just born with....Dying it seems like a good option (which i don't think makes you shallow...if it makes you happier with your appearance than do what makes you feel good about yourself). I think this is really about finding happiness within yourself....who cares if girls are all over you at work/school?

 

I think that if you work on yourself, and make you happy with you, than others will be able to find enjoyment in you as well. Maybe because you're so bothered by this you act differenly around others (hence why you don't get all the attention you seem to seek).

[nuttybuddy]

What the... Vanishing girl is using my avatar and I thought I responded already when I was only about to!

 

Anyway... I had white hair as far as as when I was 13, or 14 years old. now I have even MORE. And I'm fairly young! 32!!

 

It's the stress..... I think it is.... but so what? I dye my hair too.... just the roots... I think white hair does make a person look old.

 

I met a guy who was in his thirties and he looked like the preacher man that you have posted as your avatar. I'm not kidding! Yeah! I was like, I can't believe he's only in his 30's and he looks soooo old! He seriously was balding and had completely white hair. I personally thought he should dye it, and I heard he tried that for a while, but I guess like you, he didn't like doing that.

 

Maybe if you stress less your hair will grow less white hair. I believe it. I just don't know when I'm going to stop stressing....

[OmegaMan]

Thank you for replying.

 

I don't think it can be reversed either.

 

I mean it could be worse, I could be bald, no hair at all.

 

Maybe it's because I'm tired and seeing things out of proportions.

 

Thanks for the comment about dying.

 

I think that if you work on yourself, and make you happy with you, than others will be able to find enjoyment in you as well.

 

Thanks, that's worthy advice.

 

I actually think I'm a really kind person, to the root of things. I do care about people and I never mean to harm anyone. I'm always very careful about not hurting other people.

 

I'll think about what you said, being happy with me. Good input, thanks.

[Entropy Smith]

Your problem is between your ears and its not your hair.

 

I'm bald and i do really well with females.

 

You can make the white hair work for you.(see American Idol, I forgot the dudes name)

 

Dying your hair reinforces you insecurity both to yourself and the world.

 

Genetics>new age healthy eating philosophy.

 

Its going to take an active effort to change your thought schemata and this will not happen overnight.

 

Self acceptance and humility is the short answer to your problems. If you can't do these 2 things...then this is the beginning of your journey to achieve these things...

 

...alot of chix like older/older looking guys. Its the whole father thing...

[Entropy Smith]

I do care about people and I never mean to harm anyone. I'm always very careful about not hurting other people.

 

You care too much and are too careful about not hurting people.

 

 

I'm not saying be a jerk, but go ahead and step on some toes and get some life in you.

[OmegaMan]

Entropy,

 

First of all, it's good to hear that you don't let your baldness stop you.

 

I disagree about not hurting people. I think that's paramount and wouldn't respect myself if I didn't care about others.

 

I agree that it's partly in my head.

 

I would be tempted to agree with you with this statement:

 

Dying your hair reinforces you insecurity both to yourself and the world.

 

Self acceptance and humility is the short answer to your problems.

 

Hmm.. yes. I would agree with that as well.

 

Thank you, Entropy.

[Entropy Smith]

You are welcome Omegaman. Now get to work on being Alphaman.

[EvaGina]

My bf is 24 and wears a wig becuase of his bald-ness... I HATE the thing!!

 

Grey/white hair is sexy... if you dont like dying your hair, then dont.

In the end... it is just hair, if you really liked a girl, would grey hair put you off?

 

 

[creaminthecoffee]

Omegaman, this may be a somewhat strange reply, but here goes...Is it just turnng white or is your hair thinning/balding as well? If it's just as thick as it was before have a look at this guy.

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Of course, that seems to be silver but rather than white but if dying it a neatural color looks strange maybe you could do that? He's a judge on america's next top model, and I'd guess he's around your age.

[MargaretK]

I definitely think this is far deeper than your hair... you do too...

 

Show confidence and the women will come. If you have been feeling like this for some time you have actually been emitting this and THAT is why it SEEMS that women don't find you as attractive anymore. We sense that sort of thing, freaks us out. Get confident be happy with yourself (you sound like a top guy) and we will come.

 

Personally I find all men from all walks of life and in all hair styles and colours attractive, its the man behind all of it that really gets me though. White/grey hair can be friggin hot as!! If you are confident and believe you look good with it, I would go natural.

 

If you just can't handle going natural then I think maybe try out new hair colours/shades. Sometimes people choose shades that don't compliment their complexion or style and that could be why you feel so odd with your dyed hair. Experiment (gradually) a bit and you might find a shade that is more natural for you. There are so many out there.

 

Peace out.

[MargaretK]

 

Grey/white hair is sexy... if you dont like dying your hair, then dont.

In the end... it is just hair, if you really liked a girl, would grey hair put you off?

 

 

 

Again, Kudos Eva (and a round of applause).

 

Some great points here.

[catgirl82]

i dont think white hair is so bad- you just have to make it work for you. look at anderson cooper, he is very cute and has a full head of white hair!

 

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maybe if you got rid of your beard you would look younger, i think facial hair generally ages people.

[OmegaMan]

Well, here's a picture of me. You can judge for yourself if it looks weird:

 

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[creaminthecoffee]

*stares* Your hair looks absolutely fine...God, you could die it bright pink and still look good. If you have any problems with girls right now, it has absolutely nothing to do with your hair. If you want to look younger you might try going with contacts, but I think you'd look handsome with or w/o. POINT OF POST: You have awesome hair- calm down

[creaminthecoffee]

O, and another thing- I'm a university student so I know about these things but you can go to link removed and check if you got chili peppers(hotness), lol

[Raiden]

Well, here's a picture of me. You can judge for yourself if it looks weird:

 

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You're more handsome than I am

[creaminthecoffee]

Ken, unless that photo in your profile isn't you, and uneless you have a truly disturbing face, I'd say you're pretty good-looking yourself, hehe

 

I feel like I'm inadvertedly hitting on both of you, gah

*is embarrassed now*

[sandyv]

I agree Cream, they are both nice looking guys!

[Gratsy]

I can't see the pic.

[nuttybuddy]

omegaman, you are neurotic. what the hey! you KNOW that you look fine. that picture was perfectly normal!!! you were like so freaked out about white hair, but i think people would be too distracted by your good looking face that they won't even see the white hair. what white hair are you talking about?!?!?!

 

oh brooooother.

[EvaGina]

Well, here's a picture of me. You can judge for yourself if it looks weird:

 

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You're hot... and you definitely have the strong jawline to pull off the distinguished grey hair look

[Gratsy]

I just saw the pic. I think you're attractive. Your hair doesn't look white in that pic? But looks aren't everything anyways, you know.

[OmegaMan]

I just wanted to drop by and thank everyone from the bottom of my heart.

 

You've all made a really huge difference, thanks so much.

 

I'm very grateful, thank you.

[Miss Firecracker]

Well, here's a picture of me. You can judge for yourself if it looks weird:

 

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It's not your looks that are in the way.

 

Must be something else. I thought your avatar was you. What a relief.