The bravest thing I've ever done...

[Delia22]

I'm on Day 8 of NC...

 

Yesterday was a good day, though. I had positive thoughts and was able to control my emotions... I barely even cried for the first time in 3 weeks! Then last night I somehow found the courage to pack all of his belongings that we agreed he'd pass by to pick up sometime soon, gave them to a friend and had them unexpectedly deliver it to his place. I had to close the door on us once and for all... I couldn't keep waiting for that day when I'd finally see him again when he decided to pass by and get everything. Plus, I was afraid that seeing his face, hearing his voice, would undo all the progress I made in the last week.

 

But no matter how powerful I felt last night, this morning I woke up, realized what I had done and became a total wreck. I let go of that final chance to see him again... I took the final steps to kick him out of my life for good, even though I'm still desperately in love with him.

 

I'm feeling SO down today. I don't know how to get over the loss. I don't know how I'm going to move on without him by my side.

 

Just needed to vent to people who have felt the same thing...

[sallyusa]

I felt the same way as well so your not the only one. Actually i was the one that kicked my ex out of my life even though i was in love with him so much and the next day i felt like crap for doing it but took it so hard for about a couple of weeks. But you know what i've been doing 6 months of no contact going on 7 months. And i feel better already and now in another relationship and i barely think about the ex anymore as if nothing happened. First days are going to be hard so dont try to be hard on yourself. Just take it one day at a time and try to hang out with your friends and have fun and just enjoy singlehood again. I've done non stop crying for about a month but that didnt get me anywhere it made me miserable. i hope this helps a bit. Just try to focus on you now.

[Hope75]

Hi There,

 

Even though you feel like you are hurting more today I think you know what you did was really the best thing for you- the longer you held off on putting together his things and the longer you allowed him to wait to come and get them, the longer you prolong your grief and inhibit your ability to move forward with your life.

 

Of course it's going to hurt because it's like the final string being cut, and it's OK to feel sad and cry about that, but in the end it really is the best thing for you to do for yourself, even if it hurts the most.

[Murasaki]

No one can determine if you can make it or not. You feel that way, but he doesn't have the power to, it's that simple. Time. Don't try to push away your feelings, ride them out or accept them if they're permanant, like love. All you need is time and distance. Chances are, seeing him would have only made things worse. You can make it, just keep going friend.

[manders06]

i totally agree with all thats been said. as soon as my ex and i broke up, i packed all his stuff away in a box. you dont need the constand reminders. be strong and keep with NC