Starting to believe I'm never going to heal

[babybear]

It's been six months of no contact and I still feel love for my ex boyfriend. We got together when I was just 15 and had a hurtful relationship consisting of cheating, emotional blackmail, breaking up getting back together for two and a half years. (I am now eighteen). I broke contact with him six months ago after finding out he had started seeing someone else at the same time as me and that he had had a one night stand months before. We have not spoken since then and I have seen him once and we pretended to be strangers. He is now in a new long-term relationship with the girl he started seeing at the same time as me.

 

I have tried dating and when I really like a new guy my feelings for my ex are suppressed. But it is only for the short-term as they always resurface. Deep down I still love him and care for him more than anybody else in the world and I hate it that he got over me immidately. I know it was an unhealthy relationship and the last thing I would want is to be his girlfriend again. I just want to be indifferent to him because it would hurt me so much now even to see him or speak to him.

 

The problem is I am going to university next month and I found out he's going to the same one as me with his new girlfriend. I'm really scared this is going to ruin the experience for me and never allow me to just move on.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

its only been 6 months........and you were together since 15 and now your headed too college im not good with numbers but whats that about 4 years or so? my math is rusty......anyways you dont just hit a button that makes your feelings go away, your still going too have feelings for that person, i have been separated from my ex for a whole yr and some months and i still have feelings for her..........it will get better but dont force it......let things ride out the more you try and push him out of your mind the more hes going too be there

 

as far as seeing him with another woman, please pray that you dont, that is the lowest feeling possible, it hurts........

[bubblyblonde11]

I think the best thing might be too make sure you make lots of friends at your new uni and keep your social life active.

 

Once there you might find someone else that you are interested in also.

 

It will be tough at first but it will make you stronger. Just be as happy and positive as you can infront of him and enjoy your new life to the full. Ignoring him as best you can in the situation.

 

And about him ruining it, well just DON'T let him, he can only ruin it if you allow him too ruin it hunny.

 

Stay strong

 

xx

[beauty21]

Deep down I still love him and care for him more than anybody else in the world and I hate it that he got over me immidately

 

This is the same way I felt after my relationship ended of 4 years. He ended up with the girl he cheated on me with and they are expecting a baby. I think the fact that he moved on without me, and having a baby with whom should have been me is what tore me up inside for so long. Just the fact that he had someone else. And I think that is why you are still feeling the same as you are. No, you can not just press a button and your feelings will disappear, but sometimes, it's better to just face reality cause that's the best thing. The strength that comes with that will bring you a far, far way and when you look back you will see that where you were made you who you are.

[fr0st]

Something I have learned to accept. I will always love me ex in the same way. But she doesnt have to be constantly in my life to maintain those feelings. I just have to accept that. I don't know if this makes sense but thats how I feel. There is no sense in convincing yourself you dont care for that person or share feelings for them. Just accept you have feelings and move on.

[babybear]

This is the same way I felt after my relationship ended of 4 years. He ended up with the girl he cheated on me with and they are expecting a baby. I think the fact that he moved on without me, and having a baby with whom should have been me is what tore me up inside for so long. Just the fact that he had someone else. And I think that is why you are still feeling the same as you are. No, you can not just press a button and your feelings will disappear, but sometimes, it's better to just face reality cause that's the best thing. The strength that comes with that will bring you a far, far way and when you look back you will see that where you were made you who you are.

 

Yes, what you said hit a nerve - I often think about my ex and whenever I do, his new girlfriend is in my head right alongside him. I never think about our memories, it's always just thoughts about the two of them like that they tell each other they love each other and went abroad on holiday this summer even though me and him never went on holiday together.

 

I also believe I wouldn't care about seeing him at University if it was just going to be him there but because she will be there too I'm really upset and worried.