Desiderata Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 My "best" friend feels like I used to be "necessity" to him and now I'm not. He's pushing away or feels different and it's like my relationship with my ex all over again. You care and you care and then they cannot commit to you and be supportive of you always, even though you are there for them. I wanted to audition for Modern company, I do. But I know that there is not enough time in the week for me to fit all of the things that I want. Education Club is more important to me as it's my major so I'm making this sacrifice and just sticking with Ballet. I made up my own silly lyrics to "I Will Survive" today as it was stuck in my head from dinner yesterday. I cannot remember them right now, but I felt satisfied when I was singing them in the elevator on the way to work. Everything sounds better in an elevator. Really early this morning was one of the best times I've had on these boards. The three of you are so wonderful and I Link to comment
Murasaki Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 I feel like getting wasted. But it's too early in the week, woops. Link to comment
OBL Cop Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 thinking: why the hell can things never be simple haha bet every1 thinks this, but theres never an answer to it. Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 "I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut." Link to comment
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 8, 2007 Author Share Posted September 8, 2007 I feel good. I feel strong. I am having lots of fun at the moment and am enjoying life and being free to do what I want and when I want. I'm excited about my holiday (less than 4weeks now!!! big smiles). I need to tone up and lose some weight before I go. So really should get off of here and get ready to go down the gym for run then a swim. I am happy. Link to comment
surfjon Posted September 8, 2007 Share Posted September 8, 2007 Feeling good. Having fun. She gave me some crap yesterday like" Why is it all about you and your pain", not even sure why she texted me that......... My reply was "You're making an assumption I'm still in pain???" Well I'm not and I'm not going back.............. Link to comment
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 9, 2007 Author Share Posted September 9, 2007 Lots of odd dreams last night, the ex unfortunately in most of them however I still feel pretty good today. Gonna get to work on that ex dream control machine today, nobody try and nick my idea now! I'm gonna be rich Link to comment
Cimmie Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 Where did that desolated crying fit yesterday morning come from, and why did it blow over so fast? Why do I still dream about him and feel so sad in the dreams? Why are all my dreams and ambitions shattered when they felt so important to me for so many years? Do I really give a damn about anything anymore, or is it just the anti-depressants making me feel detached? Am I about to be bullied in work, and if so, am I inviting victimisation? I really want to do some spinning. I feel lazy. It's nice not to be panicked about money for once. Link to comment
megno07 Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 I dreamed about you this morning and it felt so real.....It hurt....because for a moment I thought maybe you cared again...or did you ever care?? I felt pain because I will never understand how you are or why you did what you did....why you took my heart and crushed it. Link to comment
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 I can't believe how I am not upset about the ex being on match - goodo. I need to focus on losing some weight so rejoined weight watchers online and will go to the gym again this evening & work hard. I need and want to have a great month with my sales figures at work so bit of hard graft for next few weeks. Link to comment
tushboy Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 God sent you in my life to remind me who NOT to be in a relationship. I am letting you go now, so I can make space for God to send the right person to me. I wish you good luck in everything you do. Thank you for coming in my life and teaching me how to love myself Link to comment
GottaLetItBurn Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 I've been on this board a while. I was miserably reading other peoples posts because I felt so empty and hurt from being thrown away, and then having to see her back with her ex. Now 2 years later she is a loser, and I have met new girls, who I felt more connected with. I actually felt that in love feeling again with a new girl, and so I know there is alway going to be hope for the future. All of you are just like me on here, but I just want to say things will get better when you start getting back to the things you use to enjoy in life. Man it sucks to not be able to get that person off your mind, but you have to do a lot of spiritual work, and realize you are probably better off with out them. My thoughts now are... Learning Spanish Will I get hired today for a new job am I going to the movies later cleaning my room who am I going to meet today Link to comment
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 10, 2007 Author Share Posted September 10, 2007 I feel so positive and happy, this feels fantastic and after what I saw about ex!! Brilliant Holiday looming - so get fit & become the superbabe thats in hiding inside wanting to burst out!! Lol I really do feel great, feel like dancing around the house! Link to comment
megno07 Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 Thank you for letting me go.....messing up....and making me realize that it was never me.....you were weak but I'm happy you messed up....you only prepared me for the future....for that guy who is going to be just right for me....who is the one for me....so thanks I guess....otherwise my life would have been so empty and alone. Link to comment
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 13, 2007 Author Share Posted September 13, 2007 Holiday - three weeks tomorrow morning Dam I need to get my body toned in that time scale Life is good I have plans for the whole weekend The flowers my Dad bought me have opened up and are so beautiful The sun is shining which is always lovely Link to comment
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 Thoughts of today Vivid and horrible dream about the ex, talking about sex with new women but I am ok and still smiling I hope I win this deal and get some good deals before the end of the month, I wanna hit target. Can I get slimmer before my holiday in just over two weeks time, I have been working out for 3months now. Sun is out - lovely Link to comment
benga Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Thought of the ex after a while. My thoughts.... hmmmmmm 2 punches Link to comment
bubblyblonde11 Posted September 19, 2007 Author Share Posted September 19, 2007 Feel bit stupid after my episode yesterday!! How on earth am I gonna get slimmer in two weeks!! Link to comment
benga Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 How on earth am I gonna get slimmer in two weeks!! Don't have to.. Just wear tighter clothes. Cutting the booze may help to... ha ha ha - look who's talking Link to comment
bubblyblonde11 Posted October 1, 2007 Author Share Posted October 1, 2007 Just wondering if I will be single for another 4yrs. Trying to be happy about my holiday but still sadened a little that it is my little brother I am going with, and I odn't mean to be mean I just mean wish it was a couples holiday but glad I am going away and will have fun. Just wanna be loved Link to comment
papalazarou Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 You have to love yourself first bubbly. You are getting there but at the moment your confidence is shot to pieces. God knows I know what that feels like...! xxxx Link to comment
bubblyblonde11 Posted October 1, 2007 Author Share Posted October 1, 2007 Its not my confidence so much its my heart that is shot to pieces, that and the brain matter!! lol Link to comment
bubblyblonde11 Posted October 1, 2007 Author Share Posted October 1, 2007 Nah b0ll0cks your right my confidence is shot to pieces, my hopes of ever finding and being in a "normal" relationship shattered. I was single for 4yrs before "fcku whit" and probably will be again. Then be too old to start a family etc. My past has effected my life too much and probably just not capable of being in a great relationship. Link to comment
papalazarou Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 Come down to Brighton on Saturday with your mates to celebrate my 35th!!!! Link to comment
bubblyblonde11 Posted October 1, 2007 Author Share Posted October 1, 2007 thank you for the invite and I would do hun but I'll be in Orlando by then. Next time. x Link to comment
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