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It's My Ex's B-Day. Do I Call?


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Hi folks,


My ex broke up with me a little over two weeks ago. We were together for 3 years. I have not been able to go into full NC b/c we have had to sort out our belongins, etc. She is supposed to come over next Tuesday for us t make our final exchange and it is at that point that I plan to "disappear" for good and have NC.


Her B-Day is this Sunday. We have not talked on a personal level since the break up. Only one phone call and some e-mails about scheduling to get our stuff sorted out. Should I call her on her B-Day? Should I send her a card? I AM NOT GOING TO SEND A PRESENT!! I hate to not call her after three years, especially because I would like to get back together and fear that not calling will really hurt her feelings. What do you all think?

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This is tough - many here will tell you to do nothing...


But, I think bdays are important and to ignore them may just add fuel to the fire of why she is leaving.


Don't be overdramatic - just to a card... do not write some lengthy message... the card will convey your thoughts and just sign your name.


To do more might cause further damage but this way she knows that you haven't forgotten such an important date.


Good Luck

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She broke up with you, so why would you send her a card or call her and wish her a happy birthday?? Dont worry about hurting her feelings, if it hurts her that you dont contact her on her birthday, then maybe she should have thought of that before she broke up with you.


Show her that breaking up with you means you not being there for her. Dont contact her.

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do not dodge her birthday.

i dont care what anyone on here says about it.

as a girl whether i dumped you or you dumped me,

we had a history together. 3 years is a substantial amount of time,

and as you do still care for her and desire her, tell her or send a simple card. a card may be better if ya'll are having uncomfortable phone conversations.

it will speak words to her. whether you wants them right now or not. she will remember the gesture.

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If you dated for three years and just broke up two weeks ago, sending a card isn't a huge deal as long as wasn't a really ugly breakup.


Send her a card, text, or give her a 5 min call on her birthday just to say what's up. Then pursue NC or whatever other method you've chosen to get over her.


I'm sorry you are going through this. Chin up! It gets better!!!

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Hey bildit,


that is indeed a somewhat awkward situation, wondering whether you should call her or send a card or...and I have been there myself... First of all, I would like to think that after three years of being together and meeting her again for a final exchange of your goods it would be somehwat strange to completely ignore her. However, there is also a good chance, that doing "too much" could backfire upon you, e.g. in the sense that she feeld you are trying to check back on her... Especially seeing as you would like to get back with her, "doing to much" would be contrary to your goals. Same goes for "doing too little" i.e. ignoring her birthday.


Thus, it would be a good option to keep your happy birthday wish as casual as possible. I am not sure whether I would call her, if I were in your position, as I can imagine that a phone call might come over somehwhat awkward. A birthday card, email or even a text message would be preferable in my opinion. She would not be able to blame you for forgetting her birthday, yet it would be a "one sided" thing meaning she would not have to reply (still she could if she wanted too) and thus some awkwardness could potentially be avoided.


You are totally right in not planning to send a present. That would definitely be a wrong signal. No presents (immediately) after breakup.


Hope I could help!

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Aug. 23 was my BD, she texted me "Happy Birthday" and after 20 years together and her leaving me, it felt like an insult.


Her BD is in November and I haven't decided if I'll even do that, I don't want her to feel like I felt. If she wanted birthday greetings from me, she would not have left me.


N/C means NO CONTACT!!!!!! Even if it's only stinkin happy birthday......

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I'm still healing from my breakup and my birthday is in about a month, so I'm wondering if he will even say anything. I'm the one that initiated NC, but I hope he understands why I cannot talk to him right now.


Three years really is a long time, so I agree just saying "Happy Birthday" will just be a small token - something that let's her know you remember, and it's nice to have lots of people say that on your birthday. But going beyond that seems a bit much for right now at least from my perspective.


Now I've got myself wondering what will happen when it's my birthday. But a lot can happen in a month...

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a text message or one line email is more than enough


If she broke up with you then she doesn't want you to be part of her life any longer. Give her THAT birthday gift and do nothing.


If you broke up with her and don't want her back then I doubt she wants mixed messages from you in wishing her a happy birthday. Do nothing.

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No No No No No no no


And if you did not read the first sentence read below




Do not sell yourself sort its not gonna work trust me...

If she decided that she dont want to be together she have some reasons god knows what. But if you call assuming she is with smone else even if not I am dead sure she is interested in somndy else.... She will think of you as a lame person..


so read again Noooooooo

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