Hmmm its never simple is it?!?!

[schueysgirl]

Hi guys could use some advice I am so new to this DATING completely new people as my ex of 4 years was a friend so i already knew him and my first boyfriend of 2 years was also a friend...so never actually DATED anyone properly if you know what I mean!

 

Anyway for those who dont know after being dumped in May by bf of 4 years i am finally beginning to get there and am really proud of myself. I went out for a drink with a friend last wednesday and we met two really nice (and hot!) guys one of which had my number. Anyway he text me a bit and we met up on the saturday in his break from work he drove and took me for a drink we had a good time and i was thinking ok he is totally different to anyone else ive ever liked hes really nice etc so it was all good. Anyway he says he is busy sunday and monday but could he see me tuesday so i said yes (i was still off work) and he said he would text me.

 

So i was VERY good and thought i will wait for him to text (as i am so new at this didnt want to seem too keen etc) Anyway i wake up monday morning and i have a text off him. Its very long and basically it says something like "hi how are you babe I am sorry to text so late at night but I have been thinking for a while about this and you have a right to know. I still want to see you but you should know I am with somebody but it is not going very well and I am not very happy I dont know how long I will be with her...I dont know what to say..."

 

Anyway i was shocked but i text him back basically saying thanks for telling me and it is really down to him what he wants to do...and did he want to talk to me about it next time we met? Bear in mind i text him at like 6 in the morning as i was up early to see relatives it obviously woke him up but he replied straight away and didnt seem to mind being woken up! So we arranged to meet tuesday night.

 

Then monday night he texts me and asks if i want to come and see him at work in his break tuesday daytime also. So i go and see him yesterday at work to have this talk about this other girl. Anyway i find out hes been with her for nearly two years, but he isnt happy with her anymore but feels he cannot just leave her after so long...he said he needs time to have a good think and make his mind up what he wants he asked me what I wanted him to do?! all i said was that it was pretty obvious what i wanted him to do...and that i wasnt going to tell him to do anything!

 

Anyhow i was bad because we did a lot more than talk (but not completely EVERYTHING as i am so not like that) but I couldnt help myself as he is soooo gorgeous and he said he would still take me out tuesday night for a drink after work...

 

...which he did and we had another lovely time last night. He said he would text me at some point today. I'l leave it to him as much as i want to chase him i am not going to i am going to be good and be cool....and he needs time to think.

 

Anyway sorry for the long winded topic here i think more than anything i just needed to vent it is so unlucky that thsi really good guy is with someone else and i dont really know what is going on...altho i know some would say he cant be that good because he is already with someone and he cheats on them with me.....i know its wrong but i couldnt help it

 

any thoughts on what I should do from here guys? thanks xxxx

[HarleyHunny]

The first thing you should do is keep in mind this guy is a CHEATER. If he'll do it WITH you, he'll do it TO you......then think about the other girl...Unhappiness does not give him the right to cheat.

 

Bottom line, he's using you, hun.

[schueysgirl]

I know exactly what you are saying and completely expect responses like this i think i am just so so vunerable after the breakup and quite flattered by his attention. I never expected to meet anyone i was interested in so soon, let alone anyone be interested in me! where i live is a very very small and quiet town so i think i have leapt onto the opportunity and not really thought about the consequences. To see you write down that this guy is a cheater really hits it home to me...as it is written in front of my face...

 

i know that sounds silly but i hope you understand what i mean. i am by no means a bad person i felt bad for the girl whilst i have been with him outfor dates and also when i was with him and kissing him etc but there was a part of me that was hoping he would leave her and be completely with me...probably this will never happen h probably just wants his cake and to eat it...wants us both...

 

(sigh) i just wish he would leave her for me...but then i know i would be wondering if and when he was doing the same behind my back....