whats really going on

[chickenshy]

Well im back no idea where to start so ill throw random stuff here and there

i really think im losing my mind or something. Laughing at something thats not really funny&mad over something simple this one may seem a bit funny i find myself laughing at this while i was typing when i was taking a shower and used shampoo i god mad because there were to many bubbles

anyway..upset over things that didnt happen to me like a friend told me a story about a friend of his cheating on someone he knew. . .for some reason this bothered me as if it was me. Failing at everything you wouldnt believe the extent. Horrible thoughts that i wont even put here. Confusion. sometimes i get where i dont sleep at all. Another one wanting to damage myself but afraid of the pain. Love not the family type of love but ill call it outside love bothers me and this ive never really thought about until recently but ive always had thoughts of myself dying in some sort of way. And another thing i cant really describe myself like i really cant answer it i dont know whats real about me. Ive thought about suicide have not actually made plans to do it or anytime soon im pretty much chained here. Even if i am suffering i wouldnt spread it to my family who have done nothing to deserve it..so not living for my own life does that even count

 

 

tell me what you think if you read all of this i know myself personally i wouldnt bother reading it.

[nuttybuddy]

how's your appetite?

[Entropy Smith]

Get some counseling from your school or whever it is available...

 

...your emotions are kind of running away at times...

 

...don't try to change em right away, try to surf'em down or up...its a lifelong challenge...don't try to change at once...change comes slow, after roller coasters, sometimes seeing no tangible benefits for long periods of time...so relax and enjoy you ups and dwons...noone is perfect.

[chickenshy]

my appetite ok i guess but alot of days this summer i usually woke up around dinner so alot of the times it was just dinner

[nuttybuddy]

I think u may be depressed. Please go see a doctor... depression can be treated.

[chickenshy]

ive thought about it but i cant the money isnt the problem

[nuttybuddy]

so what's the problem? why can't u go see a doc?

[chickenshy]

my friends family dont understand this type of thing they really would think im crazy..well they already know im a bit oddd when we are just sitting there and i just start laughing i dont know i can keep it under control when people are around

[nuttybuddy]

well, if you are worried, then go to your school health office. they should have a doctor or a school nurse to check you.

[chickenshy]

not sure if its really worth the effort