i dont understand....

[cherriecheek]

so i have this friend that is cute, but i wouldnt say shes extremely hott...she is tall, athletic build and she has a butt on her (especially for a white girl), she works out, has an OK body but not one to die for. she is really into football and all these sports, she can sit at the bar and watch a game for hours or start a dance party. she dresses like a girl (wears make up and such) but her personality is kind of boyish

 

i dont understand why this type of girl gets all the guys. its true, i am slightly jealous of the fact that she can get so many more guys than i can and this all started within the past few months. i cant figure out what she is doing right and i am doing wrong. we have the same clothing type, but im just more petite. like i said she has the butt, but i have the boobs. we look completely opposite, she being the athletic one and me being the more exotic petite one. is the trend in what guys find attractive changing or is it just luck?

[surfjon]

Without knowing either one of you girls, I'll guess at it.

Perhaps she is simply more "approachable", maybe the sports thing gives her the edge. I could care less about sports so the fact she likes sports wouldn't necessarily entice me to her over you. "Hot" is very subjective, the girl my friend sees out and views as "hot", may do nothing for me and conversely the girls I many times find "hot", my friends don't see that way. I love the more subdued look, my dream girl is Lisa Loeb... why?? I don't know, but she's damn sexy with that dark hair, glasses and guitar!! But that is simply my taste.

 

Another consideration in it is you, I've been afraid to approach many "hot" girls simply because they seem unattainable and I didn't want to get shot down, so the less attractive yet more approachable friend gets the

advances.

 

Next time you are out, check your whole package, doe's your body language say "stay away", are you smiling, put yourself in a guys position and imagine going up to the best-looking yet aloof guy in the place............

Would you risk the venture forth to talk to him??

 

Good Luck!!

(I myself LOVE the petite exotic look over the athletic blonde look!)

 

sj

[JoeWho]

I bet you two have completely different attitudes and that is the only difference in your success with men. To be perfectly honest with you from the physical traits you described, I would be more inclined to go for your type, but in real life; attitude, confidence and general personalities would really attract me.

[rootcause43]

Its not a trend necessarily, but it does sound like you might be having a slow streak.

 

As others have said... her boyish personality... sports.. etc...cuteness (not "hot" so to speak) make her sound more approachable.

 

But you have to be you - so don't change what makes you ... you. But maybe make a few changes with body/eye language that says "hey, I wont bite" or something like that.

[psu11]

honestly, if i was a guy, after reading this post, i wouldnt go after you at all.

 

so what if your friend is getting more guys than you, just by this post you sound somewhat petty. when i was cheerleading in college there were plenty of girls who ALWAYS had to be the center of attention, it was those girls who would get jealous if the girl "less than them" got the guy. im not trying to judge you, i just think you need to step out of the limelight for once and be happy for your friend. i once had a guy break up with me because i wasnt girly enough, he now kicks himself because every girl he got after me was either needy, petty or "too girly."

 

maybe those guys that are going after her got hurt from girls like you in the past. im just saying.....

[NiceGuy76]

honestly, if i was a guy, after reading this post, i wouldnt go after you at all.

 

so what if your friend is getting more guys than you, just by this post you sound somewhat petty. when i was cheerleading in college there were plenty of girls who ALWAYS had to be the center of attention, it was those girls who would get jealous if the girl "less than them" got the guy. im not trying to judge you, i just think you need to step out of the limelight for once and be happy for your friend. i once had a guy break up with me because i wasnt girly enough, he now kicks himself because every girl he got after me was either needy, petty or "too girly."

 

maybe those guys that are going after her got hurt from girls like you in the past. im just saying.....

 

Agreed! This is a good post! Some guys just have their certain types and me personally...I would go for someone that is not too girly or needy, someone who is fine with themselves and does not need to put on a "front" or anything.

[servedcold]

It could have something to do with venue also, pubs and sports bars are ideal places for people like your friend, whereas you might find yourself more popular at more upscale clubs and restaurants. All other things being equal, a woman who carries herself in an open and approachable way will get more attention, maybe you should examine your body language. Also, in many cases, male and female, there is one friend who is the extrovert, and the other who kind of hangs back. If you are finding yourself in this dynamic, step up and take the social reins more, don't let yourself hang back in the shadow of your more extroverted friend. Best wishes.

[syzygy]

It may just be that she likes to talk about things that tend to interest guys more. Guys like a girl they can hang out and have a conversation with, especially when she is knowledgeable about things they like. For some it's cars, for some it's sports, for others it's something else like music or a favorite subject in school. Because she can just have a no-pressure kind of chat about sports, it makes her seem more confident, and that speaks louder than actual looks. Having a conversation about a shared interest is going to get you further than just looking cute or flirting, so think about the kind of guy you want and what his interests might be, then play to that.