angela12 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 ok so i just found out... its over he cheated on me.... i found texts in his phone saying miss you baby and he said he admitted giving his number out. I am packing my bags and going home. I am hurting like crazy at the moment. My heart is broken in a million pieces. I woke up early and went through his phone because I had a female instinct to look through and low and behold he had texts in his phone from some random girl he met off the train. Now he said he wants to break up cause he cant take the fighting and its for the best. I am HEART BROKEN... i lived in his house and he told me we were going to get married now is blaming me for pushing him... I have a flight back to australia today at 7pm ... its over Please see my thread in relationship commitment..... i need help fast Link to comment
coolio2cool Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 you shouldnt have been snoopin' through his stuff, now look at what happened. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Is Australia Home with family and friends? I hope so. That would be the best possible thing in the world for you. And smart. I'm sorry you are in pain. You will get through this. Link to comment
JoeWho Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 you shouldnt have been snoopin' through his stuff, now look at what happened. Snooping isnt the best thing to do, but hey sometimes you got to do what you got to do. Usually if you feel the need to snoop there is something going on anyways. She didnt cheat her boyfriend did, that is the cause of what happened and not her snooping. Link to comment
mizz_sweety Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Exactly, I'm glad u went thru his phone hun u wouldnt have found out how much of a two timing little scum bag he was otherwise, believe me i feel ur pain and i'm so sorry your going thru this, I HOPE HE FEELS BETTER! NOT Link to comment
JUSTBLUE Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Wow i just read ur other post...THAT...and now THIS? Im sorry ur heart is breaking **hugs** Had there been any other signs (other then ur gut feeling) that he was cheating? Not that this matters now, u looked at his phone and found what u found..AND atleast u know now. Do what u think is best for you now. If that means going where ur loved ones are then hun u GO. Do u have many friend or fam around u in NY? I guess im asking as it would be awful for u too throw a great career/other positives away...BUT i know it hurts and sometimes in the midst of our pain sometimes we dnt think as clear. Sorry i cant be of much help..keep strong x Link to comment
sddeaston Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Yeah snooping is bad to do, but in these cases obviously people have reasons to suspect something. I would leave too, which is hard RIGHT NOW. But in a few weeks it will be a little easier and a few weeks after that even easier. You just need to know that it will get better from here, not worse. Have a safe trip back home. Link to comment
Orlander Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 you shouldnt have been snoopin' through his stuff, now look at what happened. It is not right to insinuate that her snooping had anything to do with the relationship being over. He cheated. Whether she was in her right to check his phone for messages is moot. I'm sorry that you are going through this rough time, Angela. Now is a good time to rely on friends and family for support and to keep it in mind that no one deserves to be cheated on and you are doing the right thing now by leaving. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 It is not right to insinuate that her snooping had anything to do with the relationship being over. He cheated. Whether she was in her right to check his phone for messages is moot. I'm sorry that you are going through this rough time, Angela. Now is a good time to rely on friends and family for support and to keep it in mind that no one deserves to be cheated on and you are doing the right thing now by leaving. Exactly- snooping was not right but neither was cheating. I'm glad you found out before any official engagement took place, and I hope you have lots of support back in Australia when you get home. Hang in there and have a safe flight. Link to comment
redrose85 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 I'm sorry to hear that. Snooping isn't really a good way to go about it, but sometimes, you've just gotta listen to your intuition. Obviously, you knew something was up. After awhile, I am sure that you will be really relieved to be back in Oz with family and friends, and with much less drama! Have a safe flight. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 you shouldnt have been snoopin' through his stuff, now look at what happened. I disagree. Its a good thing you found what you did, now you wont have to stay with someone who can't keep it real. I'm sorry you are hurting though. He may be doing you a favor. If he cant be true to you, he may not be able to be true to anyone at this time in his life. Good for you, for being strong and moving on. He just lost a great one! Link to comment
miracle29 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Snooping isnt the best thing to do, but hey sometimes you got to do what you got to do. Usually if you feel the need to snoop there is something going on anyways. She didnt cheat her boyfriend did, that is the cause of what happened and not her snooping. I agree here. His ways is what broke this tie, not her snooping. If nothing was there to begin with, she would have never found anything. Link to comment
angela12 Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 i am so hurt. I am so hurt thats all I can think. everyone is telling me its the right thing and he is just talking about how he has had enough of the fighting and completely forgetting about the cell phone with the messages. Has anyone expirienced anything like this? Do you think leaving is the right thing. I know snooping wasnt the best thing to do but I had just had enough... :sad: Link to comment
miracle29 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 i am so hurt. I am so hurt thats all I can think. everyone is telling me its the right thing and he is just talking about how he has had enough of the fighting and completely forgetting about the cell phone with the messages. Has anyone expirienced anything like this? Do you think leaving is the right thing. I know snooping wasnt the best thing to do but I had just had enough... Don't do this to yourself. Don't start double guessing and doubting yourself. Just ask yourself ....Do you think you can ever trust him after this? How much better will he get after this time as far as hiding his sneaky deeds? Of course he's going to tell YOU to let it go..he's the guilty one. Name one Guilty person who wants to lose what he's got when he gets caught. If you want to stay with him, make sure you can trust him again. If not..then its pointless. I would not stay, i'd be happy I found out early on and not stay for his second "oops...forgive me". Link to comment
angela12 Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 this isnt a first time. something similar happened last time to me like this with him ... he doesnt want to stay with me and everyone else is telling me to leave because he has alot of growing up to do. Link to comment
JUSTBLUE Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Hey.. Im cant honestly say if leaving the country is the right thing to do...RIGHT NOW... While things are obviously still very raw for u it might seem like the right thing to do. Do u have any close friends/fam near by u right now? What i can definitely say is the righ thing to do is to, get away from the apartment and close urself off from him. Go n/c. Get some perspective FOR u, see how u feel then if going back to Oz is still what u need/want then do this. What do you want to do..are u ready to leave the country? Link to comment
angela12 Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 he said there is no trust now and he knows i can never trust him again... Im just so scared to be alone ( as stupid as that is ) Link to comment
JoeWho Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 If you are sure that he was/is cheating then you need to do what is best for you. If that means leaving then that is what you have to do. Dont let him manipulate the situation, cheating is a serious thing and him trying to turn it around on you because you were snooping or fighting too much is a cop out and him refusing to take responsibility for what he has done. I have been through something similar and it is very hard but you will get through it. Link to comment
angela12 Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 Hey.. Im cant honestly say if leaving the country is the right thing to do...RIGHT NOW... While things are obviously still very raw for u it might seem like the right thing to do. Do u have any close friends/fam near by u right now? What i can definitely say is the righ thing to do is to, get away from the apartment and close urself off from him. Go n/c. Get some perspective FOR u, see how u feel then if going back to Oz is still what u need/want then do this. What do you want to do..are u ready to leave the country? leaving is no problem but I just dont want to be alone and be ripped away from him ... I am so devestated... Link to comment
JoeWho Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 leaving is no problem but I just dont want to be alone and be ripped away from him ... I am so devestated... It is far better to be alone than to be with someone who you cannot trust and will cheat on you. It is a big adjustment going from being in a relationship to being alone, but I am sure you could do it without too much trouble. Please dont stay with him because you are afraid to be alone. That is something that you will most surely regret. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 he said there is no trust now and he knows i can never trust him again... Im just so scared to be alone ( as stupid as that is ) What a lot of Cheaters do is they play on their victims heart strings ...for example: 1. you never trusted me 2. You pushed me to do this 3. If you would have,....I would not have... 4. If you want to go..than I can't stop you... 5. If you loved me..you'd trust me again 6. If you love me...you'd never have snooped.. 7. Its not a big deal, I don't love her...i care for you 8. If this is all it takes for you to throw our love away then.. SOUND FAMILIAR? Don't let anyone piss in your face and call it rain water. He's going to pull every trick in the book to keep you, because he does not want to lose ...lose in a game he's playing that he never let you know about..just my H/O. Link to comment
MewSkitty Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 he said there is no trust now and he knows i can never trust him again... Im just so scared to be alone ( as stupid as that is ) It is not stupid to be scared to be alone. Infact, most people want to be around as many people as they can in times like this. It's going to be a hard start getting away fro this creep, but there are always people willing to help you, you just need to know where to find them and ENA is a great place for advice. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 It is far better to be alone than to be with someone who you cannot trust and will cheat on you. It is a big adjustment going from being in a relationship to being alone, but I am sure you could do it without too much trouble. Please dont stay with him because you are afraid to be alone. That is something that you will most surely regret. JOEWHO you are wise beyond your years. Half a man is just that..half. You'd sacrifice your happiness and chance missing out on a respecting caring young man if you put up with this. Its not YOUR problem he cheated or tried..its his...don't be the victim be the solution. Link to comment
JUSTBLUE Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 this isnt a first time. something similar happened last time to me like this with him ... he doesnt want to stay with me and everyone else is telling me to leave because he has alot of growing up to do. He has cheated before? Then this time PUT U 1ST. HE has now lost YOU, get YOURSELF back now. The pain is unreal right now, but from this point on what have u got to lose hun? You wil get through this there is soo much support here for you. Link to comment
Aurian Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Don`t listen to the stuff he's saying how. That is what those who behave badly do. They blame the other person and try make it THEIR fault. If he is cheating, that is HIS choice. If he really cared for you, where was that when he was cheating? Out the window! Don`t listen to his words. Consider his actions. His actions spell out J-E-R-K You`ll find someone who you`re meant to be with, who treats you with love and respect. Focus on yourself now and heal. Link to comment
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