CrazyKing Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Sometimes I'm jealous on all the people who get married quite early - until their mid-20ies, but a large part of them will divorce in 10 or less years and only after that they manage to find the love of their life (ok, some get married about 4 times - now that's a disorder)... I was thinking about that because of the people who are close to or over 30 - they should be happy that they hadn't go through pointless relationships in their life like the others did... I wouldn't be happy at all when I had a kid who's 7 or 10 years old and me and my wife would divorce - that's the worst thing that can happen to a child, It's even more harmful for the rest of their lives than loosing his/hers parents in an accident... People who are close to or over 30 are a whole load more mature than somebody who's 20 and thinks that he has found somebody to get married to til the end of time - It happens so rare that they really love each other, it's more an illusion... So many people rush into marriages without knowing that they aren't meant to be together... So why I should be jealous on friends who get married in their early 20ies when they'll most likely divorce and find their real love at the same time as I may in my late 20's or early 30's??? Link to comment
Lana0120 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 I don't know why. Perhaps because at least they do have somebody and even if it is an illusion, at the moment, they're happy? I just don't think that there are any guarantees, regardless of what age you get married. Although it's certainly fair to say that a lot of people do marry when they are too immature for it to work out. However, I know an awful lot of couples who got married in their twenties and they are still together twenty years on. I've also heard of couples who have married in their thirties and it hasn't worked out for them. Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 (ok, some get married about 4 times - now that's a disorder) Oh, is that right? Supposing you tell me the name of my illness, Crazy King? Do I have the dreaded Talked By Parents Into Marrying Pregnant Girlfriend At 15/Came To My Senses And Left/Later Cheated On By Wife #2 And #3/Still Believe In Marriage Syndrome? Link to comment
Lana0120 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Well, somebloke, you've only married three times so you're OK at the moment. Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Once more, and I turn into a pumpkin, huh? Bummer. The palm reader was right, I'm gonna die alone. Link to comment
Lana0120 Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Once more, and I turn into a pumpkin, huh? Bummer. The palm reader was right, I'm gonna die alone. *Hugs*, it's okay Cinders, you've still got your slippers. Seems that a long lasting relationship is really the more important thing to you right now than marriage, right? Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 This is very true. Thank you for the hug and the reality check. Link to comment
JUSTBLUE Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 Alot of marriages i know of (apart from my grandparents generation) have semed to disperse, some i have actually predicted that would not last havent or they are just making it LAST and NOT WORK there is a difrence there..maybe my thoughts have jinxed them..lol who knows!? They have been aged yeh about 20-30. I get envious too coz i know at THIS particular moment in their lives, they are super happy, the super happy i want to b one day and i ask myself MAN, why cant i just meet someone and just RUSH into it and for it too feel right and for my partner to be on the exact same wave length. Then ill think....hmm they cant be INLOVE with eachother they hardly know eachother.how can they wantt o spend the rest of their lives with someone they dnt really know. But hey then u get a couple who have been together asa couple for 15 years..as soon as they get married...all goes downhill..hmm why is that.? Anyway thats just my two cents..sorry if i went off topic slightly! Link to comment
Dako Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 I'm glad I got marriage out of my system. I think of it like the chicken pox. One infection and you're cured. I don't believe starter marriages clear the way for more meaningful bliss. Being older doesn't guarantee anything, because love-induced insanity still occurs. Link to comment
Clarity Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 I don't think hoping for ill will (divorce) for your friends is a healthy remedy to jealousy. If they are your friends, you should hope that all of their marriages last and are filled with love. Stop comparing yourself to others, that is the problem here. Link to comment
CrazyKing Posted August 28, 2007 Author Share Posted August 28, 2007 I don't think hoping for ill will (divorce) for your friends is a healthy remedy to jealousy. If they are your friends, you should hope that all of their marriages last and are filled with love. Stop comparing yourself to others, that is the problem here. Statistics aren't always right, but as much as I know my friends (both guys & girls) - rushed into marriage because they wanted to feel like they have started the BIG LIFE... Sure, some of them know the one they want to get married to for many years and that makes me feel that they may establish a long lasting marriage... I don't know what it is, but it could be the huge pressure from the society - if you don't have a relationship at the age over 20, you're considered to be either already dating someone or you're a LOOSER, when I meet some of the people I used to hang around at school, I'll always be asked how's my girlfriend doing (hell, I've never even had one, but I lie that I do), if you're not married after 25, you're GAY... I didn't went to a class meeting lately just because at the very beginning I was told: "The only person you can take with you is your girlfriend"... Then I saw pictures of the meeting and everybody had a partner there - I don't regret that I was cruising around with a few buddies that particular night in a different place, if I had been to that meeting, I would have spend the whole night telling lies about my imaginary girlfriend... Link to comment
Clarity Posted August 30, 2007 Share Posted August 30, 2007 You're 21, where the heck do you live that most of the people at your age are in serious long-term relationships?! Heck, I'm 25, single for the first time in years, but I don't feel outside-looking-in at all in my peer-group. There are still a bunch of single guys and girls in my circle of friends... You need to stop worrying about what others think about you. Making up having a fake girlfriend only cements those fears and insecurities in you. You need to start saying that you are single and be proud of it! Trust me, more than half of your buddies in relationships are envious of you when you say you are single. Link to comment
CrazyKing Posted August 30, 2007 Author Share Posted August 30, 2007 You're 21, where the heck do you live that most of the people at your age are in serious long-term relationships?! It's called Latvia, and here the main subject in the media and almost everywhere is relationships... For example, I work in a small office, there are two girls and a guy who are less than one year older than me, and all of them are engaged... There are still a bunch of single guys and girls in my circle of friends... The ones I know are already dating someone or have just broken up... Link to comment
mmmdonuts Posted September 4, 2007 Share Posted September 4, 2007 Yeah, I've spent the last few years being insanely jealous and envious friends and classmates who have married at 21/22, built a house, established careers, had a baby or two and now two or three years after marriage are still blissfully happy. I really felt like I'd been left behind. I didn't (and still don't) have a boyfriend. But you know what? Now it doesn't bother me so mush. Sometimes I have to admit when I see one particular person I know who lives nearby, out and about with her wonderful husband and beautiful little daughter, each of them holding one of the little girl's hands as she's learning how to walk, I feel slight pangs of jealousy because she's my age and I'm not even close to having a life like that. But I'm not beating myself up over it. It's my own fault because I had self-esteem issues when I was younger which is why I never had a serious relationship. But now I've grown up, and I know that some people just mature a little later, and marry and settle down a little later than others. I look at it this way - the 20's are a time when you can get to konw yourself. It's hard to do that when you're in a relationship anyway. Once you're comfortable and happy with yourself, then you're prepared for a relationship. CrazyKing, you're only 21. You've got your best years ahead of you. Give it another twenty years. Link to comment
.thumb.jpg.2d93ce2472f26b01a1e185382ba0b64e.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.78735a344a3340a866dda54f465baebb.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.