Girlfriend In College

[ole21]

Hi so my girlfriend just left a week ago for a college that's about 4 hours away. I'm still a senior in highschool and we've been together for 4 months. I know that doesn't seem that long, we're both very in love and have gone through a lot together. She really wants to make it work and so do I because I really believe we have something special. For at least a little while we'll only be able to see eachother about once a month, which sucks and I know it's going to be kind hard, but it's very important to me that we make it work.

The one thing that really makes me feel good is that she doesn't drink, so I trust that she won't get drunk and cheat on me or anything like that.

Basically I really want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this and what you would suggest. What is key to staying together for a long time even if she's pretty far away? any little tips?

I know you can meet a lot of people and your feelings can change in college, and one of my major fears would be if I became just that guy on the side and then after a while she realized she didn't need me so we broke up. Or if our relationship kind of just deteriorated because she had so much other stuff going on that she stopped caring so much. Should I voice this concern to her? or at least wait a little while and if it gets bad at all then tell her what i'm thinkin?

Anyways I really just want to know what you all think about the whole situation.

thanks

[Lana0120]

I think she must be aware that you'd have those concerns. I would say, just take each day as it comes, talk on the phone a lot if you can. Maybe send her letters or something - most girls find that quite sweet and it just keeps things fresh and romantic.

[fmjosie]

sounds like you have good base..... which is needed for a LDR!

 

I went through exactly what you are now, and we were fine! MSN, webcams, phone calls, even letters if you want - all help when you are missing her.

 

I'm sure she is worried too, but like you said, you're in love! Communicate. You'll be fine.... remember you'll see each other once a month or so, plus thanksgiving, xmas, 'reading' week, etc.

 

Remember: most couples who make it past thanksgiving will survive the year!

[JeckyllNHyde]

Phone calls and webcam/msn are the most important ones to make time for. I know a couple who really made it work thru these 2 things.

Try not to talk every single day for hours on end though b/c it can get a bit boring. Talking thruout the day is better.

Maybe sending her a gift on a special occasion thru mail..

[ole21]

Thanks guys that really helps a lot. we're both kinda having a hard time with it right now and really miss eachother, but we both know it's going to work and will do anything to make sure it does. Also, i'm going to send her a care package in a week or so with the new desperate housewives dvd in it, some food, a nice long note, and i don't know what else? any ideas would be awesome.

[ole21]

So lately (like the past couple of days) I can tell she's getting more and more into college and she's busy doing a lot of things. I'm glad she is, but i'm just wondering what you guys think. Is it ok/good for us if we go a day or two without talking? (fairly often). Ever since we've been together we've talked almost every day, whether were hanging out or not, so it just feels weird not talking to her for periods of time. Also, I don't want to be that "helicopter" boyfriend that calls all the time and that she's always talking to on the phone. do you think I should try to talk to her everyday? or is it just no big deal? at what point should I try to change something about our communication or talk to her about it all?

thanks

[JeckyllNHyde]

well,,,

i honestly feel that if i were in your situation i would prefer talking everyday.

i would ask her what her opinion is and also state yours .you dont need to be a "helicopter bf". i am assuming this means a bf who calls a few times a day to keep checking in. i do think you guys could try and make time for MSN maybe. and occasionaly you can call her.

and also sometimes mic/webcam convos.

if she doesnt have MSN or a pc, well then you guys should talk everyday on the phone just to keep in touch, but it doesnt need to be long phone calls. just short ones to say hi and show you care and see whats up.

[ole21]

hey thanks that helps. We've really never done msn or aim or anything, and I actually like that about us because we only really talk. I mean we never text, except within the last week or so we've sent a few just saying we love eachother. One of the issues is that she's very busy, so i figure jut talking on the phone is much more productive than typing back and forth. Also we do email eachother sometimes. I think the short phone calls are a good idea, and i'm actually cool with going a day or two without talking as long as there's never a feeling that one person has stopped caring. if that makes any sense.

[JeckyllNHyde]

yea, i understand. i also agree that msn, etc arent that personal as a phone call even though i use them. i agree phone calls are way nicer and you are better able to see the other persons emtions being expressed thru their voice. msn can also get a bit boring. good luck

[iFlirt]

Okay, so I still have to go and read other responces, but I really like your post.

Im in an LDR too, we started out six hours apart, but he moved and now we are down to four.

It takes a bit of work. My boyfriend and I talk to eachother every night. And we are very honest. I let him know when Im going out *I barely drink, but it worries him a bit, so we figure that being honest is the best way to avoid any nasty situations*. We work around eachothers lives; we are willing to stay up late or be woken up when the other needs to talk.

Anywho, I dont want to make this too long, but if you want to talk, leave me a message... At least Im assuming there are messages on this thing *Im new* Anywho, good luck!