Do you guys talk during sex?

[anitar123]

My boyfriend is completely mute during sex. This bothers me because I want him to tell me how good it feels, etc...I always have to be on top and do all the work and then we finish and he gets up, mute, and goes to immediately take a shower. He says he feels stupid talking during sex. He also rarely initiates sex, maybe 1-2 times a week and we've only been together for 4 months. I am always horny but have stopped initiating it since I usually get the "I'm tired" BS. Is this normal? He's 35 yrs old.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Different libidos = normal.

 

Not wanting to talk during sex = probably something bigger behind it.

[rootcause43]

What is normal, anyway?

 

But being 35 has little to do with this (I'm thirty-eight). It sounds like he can operate when the time comes.

 

1) His libido is probably not up to par with yours. - No big deal.

2) Not talking. He sounds like a reserved/shy person in general, is this true? - No big deal.

3) The fact that you have to get on top all the time - BIG DEAL ... I think this shows him to be inconsiderate/rude/lazy

4) Has to shower after sex - interesting... hmmmm.... is he a clean/neat freak?

 

He just sounds like a very non-sexual person who may have some hang ups. It also sounds like you will never get him to talk about it as well.

 

Good luck.

[Mavis VDSande]

Sometimes it takes a while for someone to open to their partner sexually. My bf is a mouse when we are together. When I mean a mouse I mean he is totally MUTE. It use to puzzle me because I would talk to him and he would saying nothing. But after 3 years of being together he's slowly opened up a bit more. Sometimes we joke about it, sometimes I try and get him to make any sort of noise. But like Rootcause said what's normal?!

 

My concern would be his laziness to please you and the need to shower straight after (unless he's generally a clean freak). Other than that, as long as it's ok for you to make as much noise and he doesn't have an issue, I guess it's cool

[miracle29]

My boyfriend is completely mute during sex. This bothers me because I want him to tell me how good it feels, etc...I always have to be on top and do all the work and then we finish and he gets up, mute, and goes to immediately take a shower. He says he feels stupid talking during sex. He also rarely initiates sex, maybe 1-2 times a week and we've only been together for 4 months. I am always horny but have stopped initiating it since I usually get the "I'm tired" BS. Is this normal? He's 35 yrs old.

 

 

Does he work a really physically demanding job? At 35 some men really do slow down. THey can still find you attractive but their drive is low. Where as at 30 a womans drive PEEKS! Affairs sometimes brew if the female is not loyal or lacks the patients to see the phase through.

 

My husband has a MUCH lower drive than I do, but I work with him because he tries very hard. And to me, thats what counts. Speak to him about how it turns you on.

 

A huge percentage of men were taught it was stupid, or lame, or feminine. So they are afraid to do it. Little do they know..that drives most of us women crazy . In a good way.

[HajiMaji]

I think you guys need to talk about the amount of sex yall are having. A few years ago i didnt want to have sex often because i had a real busy schedule and was barely getting 5 hours of sleep. I often begged to not have sex. Me and my girl had to have a real sit down and work it out. We found that if we would initiate it at the correct times, i was much more likely to have sex. Late at night was the worst for me, but right after work and before dinner was perfect. It took a while for us to figure this out, but it worked for us.

 

I love to talk durring sex, and i could understand what it would feel like if my partner didnt want to talk durring sex. My ex started off disliking communication durring sex, but then opened up to it. I wonder, have you tried asking him questions to answer durring sex? I would think he might answer then. Thats what happened with me and my ex.

 

And I usually take showers right after sex. Not like right after right after, but within 10 minutes of finishing. The sex fluids sorta get uncomfortable for me. Maybe you could ask him to cuddle for a little while or something, even 2-3 minutes before showering.

 

These issues are sometimes hard to bring up and talk about, but i think directly talking about them is the only real way to help them out. Even if ya had to go to a sex therapist, id say its worth it.

[JoeWho]

Some people do take some time to open up sexually and feel comfortable enough to be vocal during sex. I think it is a confidence thing for some people. A quick way to get him to loosen up a bit is to have a few drinks. A little liquid courage may go a long way for him if he is just a bit shy. Then again maybe he just prefers to not talk during sex. Hopefully for you he just needs to warm up a bit.