Long distance relationships.

[Someday1965]

I need some advice from any of you. I broke up with my real life boyfriend 6 months ago. Well at the time I had been chatting with a man who lives about 1200 miles from me. He was there to lean on during my break up and helped me so I could get through it. Our relationship has changed since then. He told me he loved me about 5 months ago and I've been waiting for him to come and see me. We've been making future plans together.

 

This is where it gets a bit complicated. He is having some problems there so he says that prevent him from coming to me. I know about these issues and they should be resolved very soon. The thing is, he gave me his passwords and I went snooping in his email accounts. Yes, I know it was wrong of me to do that but I found some things that upset me. He was a member of an online dating site and I had found a message he sent to someone with a way to contact him dated this past July. I also found an email he sent to some woman telling her he missed her and where were the pictures she promised to send him.

 

I confronted him about these things and it always gets turned around on me..like I'm wrong for not trusting him. I admit Im really stupid in affairs of the heart..but we haven't even met yet. I'm not sure I want to meet him after seeing what I saw. I'm feeling played here right now...and wonder if he ever intended on coming to me in the first place. And yes he has since changed all of his passwords..

[nuttybuddy]

Oh boy....

 

that's a pickle.

 

I don't think you guys are starting off on the right foot.

[darkpumpkin]

There are a few red flags here that I would ask you to start looking at. Is he being truthful with you? Can you trust someone who would do such things behind your back? Ask yourself are you happy with what hes done and what he may do in the future.

[nuttybuddy]

I think he's trusted you enough to give you his passwords, but maybe part of him wanted you to find out how he's been a little dishonest.

 

In any case, since you haven't met him, I think it's best you called it off now.

 

No need to go in deeper with this guy. There're enough problems you have to deal with in a relationship without bringing a load into one.

[monkey1]

I think he's trusted you enough to give you his passwords, but maybe part of him wanted you to find out how he's been a little dishonest.

 

In any case, since you haven't met him, I think it's best you called it off now.

 

No need to go in deeper with this guy. There're enough problems you have to deal with in a relationship without bringing a load into one.

 

ditto.

 

why did he give you his passwords?

[Hope75]

I'm curious why he gave you his passwords if he knew there was incriminating evidence against him on his accounts.

 

He doesn't sound too bright.

 

Do you really think you can trust him?

[hueman84]

This is just kind of messed up sounding to me. You broke up with your boyfriend 6 months ago and he told you he loved you 5 months ago? So within a month of you breaking up with your boyfriend, someone whom you have never met before told you that they loved you?

 

Honestly, it's great that he was there for you to lean on and help you out in your time of need, but if you guys have never even met each other there is no obligation towards any kind of relationship on his behalf.

 

Anyone here will tell you that trust is the #1 thing needed in an LDR, and if that is being broken before you have ever even met the guy, its really not worth it in anyway shape or form.

 

He probably thinks that since you two have never met, there is no real obligation towards any kind of relationship with you. That is probably why he is still "looking around". It seems like he somewhat "preyed" on you in your greatest time of need and used that to get close to you. He probably is just flattering himself by getting attention to build his own self-esteem and probably has no real intention of meeting you.

 

Honestly, this just really doesn't even seem worth your time.