I let him go, out of line? :-(

[cosmo_lies]

I was seeing a great guy for a few months. He all of a sudden fell off the earth and didnt return my calls, texts or emails. This went on for about 3 weeks, him not replying. I was hurt, frustrated and confused why he was acting this way. We did not have a fight or argument at all, the last time we spoke it was like all other conversations..happy, funny and nice. The last time we saw each other we watched a movie on the sofa and cuddled and just enjoyed each others company.

Well today I tried calling again...no answer. He tent me a text message saying that the times that I had called or texted he was right in the middle of something important and couldnt talk. He also said that when he did have free time he said to himself "shes just gonna give me a b**ch session after a long day at work."

This is the text I get after 3 weeks of absolutly no communication!! I sent a reply saying that he shouldnt assume that I would B**TCH at him, Im just confused and hurt thats all and I deserved answers. I tried calling after this and still no answer. That was 2 hours ago. I just sent this text tell me your guys thoughts! "I tried. I get the hint and I will leave you alone now. Just so you know I dont hate you and am not mad at you. Just sad and confused. Maybe somday down the road we can be friends. Good luck and I hope you find what youre looking for and everything goes great with your business. I know you'll be great!"

 

 

No reply. So since then I have deleted his phone number from my cell phone, incoming text mesagges, email address and off my myspace account. I know this sounds brash and silly, but Im a drunk texter and dialer!!! SHHH! Thats why I felt it nessisery to delete everything! Thoughts please!!

[Lana0120]

It doesn't sound brash. It sounds like chicken soup for the soul - you did the best thing you could by deleting him off your phone and out of your life! From the sound of it, he felt you complained too much about things in your life at times, but more likely, he was using that as an excuse to justify his behaviour. He was a jerk, you can do much better!

[JoeWho]

Sucks that he didnt have the guts to tell you he no longer wanted to see you anymore especially after a few months of dating. I had a friend have the same thing happen to her a while ago. Now she is dating a guy who seems like a good guy to me. I think it is strange how people all of a sudden disappear with no explanation.

 

Just forget about that guy, he obviously proved himself to be a selfish coward and you dont need that in your life.

[Gratsy]

I think it sounds like he has issues if he automatically assumes you're going to yell at him. Just forget him, he's not ready for a serious relationship. Plus, the kind of guy who makes himself scarse is just a rude coward...no need to feel anything for that type of person.

 

I've had guys do that disappearing to me...I just found it amusing and immature. I didn't give it a second thought, even if they were arrogant enough to think I'd care or something (some guys have given a psuedo warning and said, "oh I don't think I'm gonna be around for a while because I'm so busy..."). Like I care? You shouldn't either.

[cosmo_lies]

Yeah, I want better than that. I need a good communicator. Thats one of my requirements! Im really big on communication and honesty. If you cant even do that for me then I cant deal. I dont know what he thinks but the last time I looked in the mirror I DIDNT see a doormat or a punching bag. Im soooo over being a doormat, no more.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

so he was busy non-stop for 3 wks? lol

 

i dont think you behaved irrationally .. i think you did exactly the right thing.

[cosmo_lies]

EXACTLY Healing!!!!

 

Busy for 24 hours of the day for 3 weeks??!! Nice try buddy, my momma didnt raise a fool. And he wonders why he is single, never had a long term relationship in 33 years. HMMMM. Grow up maybe?

[Gratsy]

Yeah, I want better than that. I need a good communicator. Thats one of my requirements! Im really big on communication and honesty. If you cant even do that for me then I cant deal. I dont know what he thinks but the last time I looked in the mirror I DIDNT see a doormat or a punching bag. Im soooo over being a doormat, no more.

 

Bingo! Wow, great attitude and already? I wish I had your skillz

[beauty21]

Yeah, you did the right thing. That was rather immature of him to treat you the way that he did. But some people have a hard time being upfront than others. You deserve better anyway, so take this and charge it to the game.

[cosmo_lies]

hahaha Thanks Gratsy!

If only you knew my relationship history!! You would understand why I HAVE to have a positive attitude and outlook. I do not have a good track record at all. Wish I knew what I was doing wrong! And if its not ALL me, why am I picking the wrong men?!

[Gratsy]

Don't take it personal. Its just a few mistakes...things are usually only learned through experience and if you started out with mistakes often you end up with gold.

 

I dated some guys for a long time that I look back and say, "What in God's name was I thinking?" But I look at each new guy I date and can honestly say, "Dang, they're getting better and better!" lol

[Tethys]

Sounds like I'm preaching to the choir at this point, but yes, you did the right thing. Keep your dignity and never contact this idiot again. I mean, he doesn't contact you for three weeks and his excuse is that you might b---- at him? Come on!

 

If I were you, I wouldn't have even sent him that parting text. I would have ignored him completely -- which is what you should definitely do from now on.

[tylercdurden2004]

Yup you did the right thing.

[cosmo_lies]

YEah, Im done. I didnt sign up for that kind of relationship. To assume I would b**** at him??? Come on. I just really think he lost interest or something. I dont know. But straight honesty would have worked a lot better for me and would have saved me 3 weeks of confusion and hurt.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

EXACTLY Healing!!!!

 

Busy for 24 hours of the day for 3 weeks??!! Nice try buddy, my momma didnt raise a fool. And he wonders why he is single, never had a long term relationship in 33 years. HMMMM. Grow up maybe?

 

he's 33? sigh ....does it ever end?

[Gratsy]

YEah, Im done. I didnt sign up for that kind of relationship. To assume I would b**** at him??? Come on. I just really think he lost interest or something. I dont know. But straight honesty would have worked a lot better for me and would have saved me 3 weeks of confusion and hurt.

 

Pretty much.

[cosmo_lies]

yeah healing hands! 33!!! A grown man with a great 10 year career in law enforcement, owns his own house and a thriving business. Has all that stuff down to perfection....just cant seem to grow up when it comes to relationship. Maybe he is afraid of commitment.

[chai714]

The email was fine. We don't always get the reasons or answers we're looking for but his actions sure spoke loudly, didn't they?

 

Write him off for now and leave him alone. It was good that you deleted him from everything.

[Nixee]

Not only did you do the right thing, but I think tons of people (myself included) wish we could have had the strength to do that same thing to someone in our past or present.

 

Way to keep the upper hand

[bubblyblonde11]

Well done girl, I think you have done the right thing, something with being gone for 3weeks with no comminucation at all, just screams something not being right IMO.

 

Stay strong, I'm very impressed with your strength so far.

 

xxxx

[cosmo_lies]

Thanks for all the kinds supportive words! Im trying not to think too much into it, just another failed relationship. Maybe he sensed my huge thick "wall" I had guarding my heart. hmmm I will never know. I dont regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what I wanted.

[flux_capacitor]

I was seeing a great guy for a few months.

 

No, you weren't. You were seeing a wolf in sheep's clothing.

 

Count yourself lucky for having seen through it as early into things as you did. His loss. Don't look back, and that includes not leaving any doors open to "just be friends". Why would you even want friendship from a person who clearly thinks so little of you?

 

Don't be a doormat.

[bubblyblonde11]

No, you weren't. You were seeing a wolf in sheep's clothing.

 

 

Good point! I suffered from sheep in wolfs clothing but in a different way.

 

Don't blame yourself we are not at fault hun. Onto bigger and better things/men.

 

xxxx

[tylercdurden2004]

Thanks for all the kinds supportive words! Im trying not to think too much into it, just another failed relationship. Maybe he sensed my huge thick "wall" I had guarding my heart. hmmm I will never know. I dont regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what I wanted.

 

Its only a "failed" relationship in that it didnt work out. However if you learn from it its not really a failure.

 

On the topic of learning, you mentioned guarding your heart and maybe he sensed that. I think that might have been a problem.

 

What makes you guard your heart?

[cosmo_lies]

Tylercdurden2004

What makes me guard my heart so much is my past. My heart has many bandaids on it and there really isnt room for anymore. For example: When I begin seeing sombody new I refuse to call them my boyfriend or even dating. Im even leary of saying that were "seeing" each other. My friends all think I am crazy when they reffer to the guy im seeing as my bf and I freak out. I always say "hes NOt my boyfriend." I dont know why I do this....my guarded heart maybe?? Maybe I dont like the label as once the label is in place thats when my heart gets hurt again. Im trying to figure this stuff out. I just want to be happy.