Lying about your career to friends? On myspace, etc. -- is this *that* bad??

[Lily04]

I use some social networking sites, such as Facebook and Myspace. A few of my friends are the 'well-to-do' type, off to graduate school at Yale, Princeton, or settling down with a good career despite only being in their mid-20s. I somewhat screwed up my college years in comparison... never graduated with the best grades despite going to a mid-ranked school. In any case, I don't want to lie about my educational info. because that is too obvious, but a few of my friends knew I was applying for this government internship which I ended up not getting for the summer. I feel a bit depressed about that, but would love to see their expression when I put that I got a part-time internship there for the year... just as "work info." on Facebook/Myspace or something like that, it's not a huge deal. I don't have to be any more specific than simply stating that I'm working in Washington, D.C. as a government intern...there's really so many of them, it would be hard to verify anyway.

 

Do you think that's OK or can this somehow backfire, or could I get in trouble for this? I figure if it's only Facebook/Myspace, people lie about relationship status and so forth on there all the time, it shouldn't be a huge deal... so long as i don't say i'm off to Harvard now or something (where a few people I know actually are), a little white lie couldn't hurt, right...?

[LostInMyThoughts]

I don't think putting disinformation, like the fact that even though I'm an engineer, I list McDonalds as my full-time job.

 

But in this case, you're really just lying to yourself.

[flower99]

It may not backfire & I doubt you'd get in trouble.

But it's still Lying. Sure people do it all the time, but that doesn't make it okay.

And if it's just a little white lie that you don't think will hurt, Why not just tell the truth, how would that hurt? Honesty is always the best policy.

[Lily04]

It may not backfire & I doubt you'd get in trouble.

But it's still Lying. Sure people do it all the time, but that doesn't make it okay.

And if it's just a little white lie that you don't think will hurt, Why not just tell the truth, how would that hurt? Honesty is always the best policy.

 

because... the truth isn't that impressive and exciting, and I feel lame for it?

[Lily04]

I would only put it down for a few days, to let a few people see and be impressed that I got the internship but then delete it because I wouldn't want to perpetrate the lie...(and invite too many questions lol.) just to tease them a bit.. including some prospective love interests who would probably view a girl with such a career as being more attractive...

[Lana0120]

I wouldn't do it, because you could get found out in the end and then you'll look really silly.

[flower99]

just to tease them a bit.. including some prospective love interests who would probably view a girl with such a career as being more attractive...

 

And when they get to know you & they will find out it's a lie. don't live a lie. You want a man to be attracted to YOU. be proud to be you.

 

 

because... the truth isn't that impressive and exciting, and I feel lame for it?

 

Don't feel lame.....Do something that you can be proud of, make your life impressive & exciting.

do volunteer work & put that on there. work towards your dream, that's a whole lot more impressive than lies.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

The truth always comes out in the end and when people find out you embellished your life, they will end up thinking less of you. If people are going to judge you harshly because you don't meet their standards of career success, then perhaps those people are just not worth knowing. The important person to impress is yourself...it is never too late to turn your life around and make a success of yourself....lying is not the right road to success and self-fulfillment. Far better to leave that section blank than to lie. If you are feeling bad about yourself now, just think how much worse you will feel if these people ooh and aah over your bogus job when you know that it is a lie. Lots of people lie in this world and it doesn't seem to hurt them or bother them...but in the end, you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror. You have to live with yourself.

[RayKay]

Well, I don't know how good a friendship you can have if you tell them lies.

 

So what if you don't have the career your friends have, or what you thought you would...does not mean you cannot have an interesting TRUTHFUL life. If people judge you on career/education alone....they are not very good friends anyway and not worth having.

 

So what you did not get the internship - more than one person applied I am sure and not everyone can get it. I have been turned down for jobs many times...does not mean I am not an interesting person!

 

Oh, and I can guarantee that these days, prospective employers, etcetera, look at your myspace/facebook and I am sure it won't be so easy to explain the lies to them.

 

I would not lie. You might not get into trouble; but you undermine yourself,your friends, and it can end up being quite embarrassing - and stressful when you end up having to keep the lie going or make new ones to back it up.

[Dako]

Honesty's the best policy.

Yours is in second place.

 

I'd rather be honest than a phony.

[Lana0120]

I think overall the problem isn't whether to lie or tell the truth, the problem is that you need to stop comparing yourself to others and try and feel comfortable in your own skin. Even if you haven't done as well as others, if you're happy with what you've done and keep trying to make things better, then nothing else matters.

[Batya33]

I would not be friends with someone who lied like that. I still remember meeting someone almost 20 years ago who throughout dinner told me he was a lawyer (it was a group dinner) when he was a legal assistant. I wanted nothing to do with him after that. I am sorry you didn't get the internship - hopefully you will see it as a blessing in disguise someday when you do get the job you want. Good luck.

[Lily04]

Even if you haven't done as well as others.

 

I think this is part of the problem... that people judge people on how "well" they've done on their educational and work history when it's not necessarily the case either... there's probably people who are smart enough to get into Harvard but for various reasons didn't go or didn't apply, and still end up fine in life. At my workplace last summer, the operations manager for this mid-sized company was super smart, creative, and articulate but only ended up going to college for graphics design and never really applied himself... he was ADD, hated school, and was happy just making a mid-sized income, having a great family and time off on weekends... he could have probably gone to the same school I did, and worked for a better company if he wanted, but he enjoyed his life as is... I don't think your job should necessarily be a reflection of yourself, although it is a bit sad how society views it as such. I know my parents are like that as well, and it's sort of rubbed off on me, as they emphasize "prestige" a lot, but I don't like it....

[Lana0120]

I agree with you Lily, but the point is that the OP thinks he has not done as well as others, so I was going from that perspective. You just have to try and accept yourself at the end of the day!

[RelaxByWater84]

I wouldn't put that up since a lot of future employers are now looking at things such as facebook and myspace to determine whether or not they want to hire that person. One guy I talked to said he was going to hire someone to counsel at risk teens who were into excess drinking and drugs until he saw that the person he was going to hire was drinking and doing by looking at that person's myspace page. The person also had listed that he had a certain position at a major company and didn't and that factored into why he wasn't hired. I would just be careful about what you put on those places.

[Lana0120]

I wouldn't put that up since a lot of future employers are now looking at things such as facebook and myspace to determine whether or not they want to hire that person. One guy I talked to said he was going to hire someone to counsel at risk teens who were into excess drinking and drugs until he saw that the person he was going to hire was drinking and doing by looking at that person's myspace page. The person also had listed that he had a certain position at a major company and didn't and that factored into why he wasn't hired. I would just be careful about what you put on those places.

 

Wow, I didn't know that! Definitely not a good idea to lie then.

[Siriana]

Why do you want to make that lie?

[lonely_me]

including some prospective love interests who would probably view a girl with such a career as being more attractive...

 

What happens if you begin dating these people? Inevitably it will come out that you never held the position and anyone you attracted that way will probably be really put off about being lied to.

[RelaxByWater84]

Wow, I didn't know that! Definitely not a good idea to lie then.

 

I was talking to my boss and they usually look at those things to determine if they want to hire you. I also read stuff on sites such as msn, yahoo and the like and they tell you be careful what you have online.

[Lana0120]

I was talking to my boss and they usually look at those things to determine if they want to hire you. I also read stuff on sites such as msn, yahoo and the like and they tell you be careful what you have online.

 

 

So it really is a case of Big Brother... I am glad that I don't lie about anything online!!

[Lily04]

I was talking to my boss and they usually look at those things to determine if they want to hire you. I also read stuff on sites such as msn, yahoo and the like and they tell you be careful what you have online.

 

That's stupid. Literally, a social site like that isn't a reflection of your personality necessarily, it's just for fun...

[lonely_me]

That's stupid. Literally, a social site like that isn't a reflection of your personality necessarily, it's just for fun...

 

Sure it is. Do you really want someone going out and partying every night to work for you? You are risking having an employee come in every day with a hangover.

 

BTW, this whole "Big Brother" thing isn't THAT bad. We googled an applicant once who wasn't very strong and found that he was a member of a technical forum. We read the help/advice he gave other people working in our field and knew IMMEDIATELY that while he may not have projected it very well, he definitely knew his stuff. A guy we otherwise would've rejected got the job BECAUSE we snooped and has turned out to be a great asset.

[RayKay]

That's stupid. Literally, a social site like that isn't a reflection of your personality necessarily, it's just for fun...

 

But it IS a reflection of your professionalism. In my future career, prospective employers often look and search online for summer positions but also for full time positions after school to see if you are going to be able to portray that professional image they need.

 

I don't see anything wrong with that.

 

I have friends whom are teachers for example whom are very careful about what they put online due to students and parents of students - to show the proper image. I know cops, lawyers, etcetera whom do the same due to clients, coworkers, employers.

[Dako]

I have a small website and always take care to keep it free of anything embarrasing.

When you apply for work, you sign a stack of waivers allowing them to do backround checks and scrutinize you.

A photo of you with a beer bong or flashing boobs might seem harmless, by why risk it? Myspace seems to bring out the weirdest in people.

[MollyElise]

Sparrow - I feel ya, I've lived in the DC area for about a year and a half and am AMAZED by how far so many young people already are in their career. Alot of very smart and ambitious people are attracted to the area.

 

That being said, I don't think you should lie on your myspace about getting a job as an intern mainly b/c I think there is a chance that you could get caught in the lie, if not now, later on the road. DC is all about networking and people pay alot of attention to where you work and remember in case they need to use you as a contact. You get caught in a lie about this and you will never have a chance here.