I just took a big step forward

[Jess...]

Hello ENA-ers! I am very proud of myself right now. For those who don't know my story, I've been trying to move on completely, after asking the ex for a second chance, and getting a foggy answer. Been broken up for 8 months now, 6 of those months were complete and utter NC, and 2 have been LC. After asking him a couple of weeks ago, I have gone back into solid NC.

 

I think the ex is either starting, or in a new relationship, which I must admit, hurts - a lot more than I want it to - but I'm pretty much ok with it now. I've accepted it, I had given up hope of geting back together before I found this out, and I'm doing my best to put everything behind me and just forge ahead.

 

Tonight, I blocked and deleted him from my msn contacts. This is a huge step forward for me, as I haven't been able to do this before!! Just feeling really proud of myself, and had to share it with everyone lol

 

I'm getting back on track The days are getting lighter, the fog is lifting, and I'm finally going to be alright without him. And he is missing out on one dam good person. Ironic that he gave me up, and now what he is missing is better than what he had, but hey. I thank him for the lessons he taught me. And if I can come through this, and start to see the other side, anyone on this site can

[benga]

Awesome... And now Jess turns a fresh leaf in the book of her life...

 

Well done.. We are very proud of you. You've been doing great... Keep working and focussing on yourself. There are wonderful things in store and in your future...

 

Cheers

Benga

[Clabs]

Hey Jess!

 

It is fantastic when you start to "see the light" so to speak. Well done you indeed and very inspirational!

 

Keep on the way you are going - it won't be too long before you bump into someone who does see and appreciate what a fantastic person you are.

 

Take care honey.

 

Mark

[Jess...]

Awesome... And now Jess turns a fresh leaf in the book of her life...

 

Well done.. We are very proud of you. You've been doing great... Keep working and focussing on yourself. There are wonderful things in store and in your future...

 

Cheers

Benga

 

Thankyou! I feel really good right now. Finally going forwards, getting off the treadmill. Why I didn't do this sooner, I don't know... but I think it took this long because I'm actually ready for it now, and I want to. Thanks for your support! Hope things are going well for you!

[Jess...]

Hey Jess!

 

It is fantastic when you start to "see the light" so to speak. Well done you indeed and very inspirational!

 

Keep on the way you are going - it won't be too long before you bump into someone who does see and appreciate what a fantastic person you are.

 

Take care honey.

 

Mark

 

Hey Mark! Thanks for your support!

I can't wait to find the someone who does appreciate me! I want to meet them yesterday, I have no patience lol.

 

Gosh I love this place, everyone is so supportive! Hope things are going well for you!

[Clabs]

Hey Jess!

 

You are right - it has taken this long because it has - because it is what you needed to get to this point.

 

I think we are all with you on the patience thing! But good things will come your way - once you accept things - get your head arround things, start feeling really good about yourself, you project your new higher level of confidence - you project your smiley side and that draws people to you.

 

This place is an awesome resource - it truly is.

 

Welcome back to the good old new Jess!

 

Mark

[Jess...]

Hey Jess!

 

You are right - it has taken this long because it has - because it is what you needed to get to this point.

 

I think we are all with you on the patience thing! But good things will come your way - once you accept things - get your head arround things, start feeling really good about yourself, you project your new higher level of confidence - you project your smiley side and that draws people to you.

 

This place is an awesome resource - it truly is.

 

Welcome back to the good old new Jess!

 

Mark

 

Thanks Mark! I am at work in the office by myself at the moment, and this is the time the wistful 'I miss him so much' thoughts usually set in. And sure I miss him, but I'm doing great!

 

I have better things to think about these days, like redecorating my room, my upcoming overseas trip next year, getting accessories for my phone haha ~ things that will make me happy rather than depressed. I've come a long way, and there's no stopping me now. The only way now is forward!

[Moto]

Congrats on this accomplishment Jess!

 

The MSN thing, it would have been easier to have deleted him since day one. I know I personally dreaded the popup of her name, whenever she signed on... It would tear my heart out of my chest, and I didn't even have to say a word. Or I found myself curiously reading her name + comment for the day, and wanting to ask what it meant. After a week of torture, I deleted her, not blocked though.

 

Back on topic... Don't let anyone stop you, or keep you down! You're on such a great path right now that you're sure to give about an aura of self satisfaction, and someone will pick up on it soon enough, and perhaps make you happier then the ex ever could have.

[Desiderata]

My darling, I am so proud of you! I still have my ex on my AIM buddy list but he's so far down on the bottom that I forget he's there sometimes. Today is one of those emotional and crying days, but I hope tomorrow will be better.

 

It sounds like you are showing signs of such hope and optimism and that is wonderful! He truly is missing out on one damn good person - if he could not see how special you were then he must be blind. You are totally on the right track, I'm so happy for you!

[Jess...]

Congrats on this accomplishment Jess!

 

The MSN thing, it would have been easier to have deleted him since day one. I know I personally dreaded the popup of her name, whenever she signed on... It would tear my heart out of my chest, and I didn't even have to say a word. Or I found myself curiously reading her name + comment for the day, and wanting to ask what it meant. After a week of torture, I deleted her, not blocked though.

 

Back on topic... Don't let anyone stop you, or keep you down! You're on such a great path right now that you're sure to give about an aura of self satisfaction, and someone will pick up on it soon enough, and perhaps make you happier then the ex ever could have.

 

 

Thanks Moto!

 

I know, I should have deleted him since day one, but I couldn't, I just couldn't. I don't know why, (and I wish I had!) but I tried several times, but couldn't bring myself to click on the final "yes, delete". I always looked for his name every time I signed on, and checked to see if it was still the same, how many times he was on during the week, at what time of the night, oh it drove me crazy, until I said "no more!"

 

I hope someone picks up on my self satisfaction (or just picks up on me haha), I'm really looking forward to meeting someone new, and exciting. I deserve to be happy, I'm a good person, and hopefully I will find another good person. I've never been this positive about myself before, I was always down on myself, and never gave myself enough credit, but since being dumped, I realised I have to be nice to myself. lol.

 

I hope things are going well for you

[Jess...]

My darling, I am so proud of you! I still have my ex on my AIM buddy list but he's so far down on the bottom that I forget he's there sometimes. Today is one of those emotional and crying days, but I hope tomorrow will be better.

 

It sounds like you are showing signs of such hope and optimism and that is wonderful! He truly is missing out on one damn good person - if he could not see how special you were then he must be blind. You are totally on the right track, I'm so happy for you!

 

Thanks Desi!! That is so sweet of you

 

Oh I hope you aren't too sad today, just think, if your ex hadn't have dumped you, you wouldn't have found all the wonderful people here at ENA! lol (thats what I think when I'm sad. And its very true). Tomorrow will be better. Always know that.

 

I will try to reply to your PM soon, I'm popping in and out while I'm at work, (while the boss is out of the room haha), but I might be able to start one at lunchtime. If not, I'll make sure I do it tonight lol finding the time is the problem lately! Chin up, you deserve so much better than him.

 

 

Back on topic lol I'm really surprised how well I'm going. I have the occasional thoughts of the ex and this new girl that there seems to be something going on with, and I get a slight pang of I don't know, sadness, wistfulness...but it only lasts a second. If he's going to move on with someone new, I can't stop him, and I certainly can't do anything about it. Nor would I try (and look like the crazy ex who can't let go). All I can do is deal with it, put it behind me, and move forward the best I can. And keep an eye out for a new guy haha.

 

I wish him all the best, I hope he is happy, that's all I want, for him to be happy, and if this other girl is what/who makes him happy, then so be it. I must admit, it does hurt a little though, that at some stage I was the one who made him happy and I don't anymore. But, life goes on no matter what. Whether you want it to or not. So true.

[benga]

 

The MSN thing, it would have been easier to have deleted him since day one.

 

Hey Jess -

Good for you! I am glad you were able to do that!! The faster you move away from memories that hold you back the quicker begins the healing process.

 

Well! I was married.. 14 years.. When we separated (8+ months now), I was gutted.. It took me 3 months.. to get rid of all pictures, her off my MSN, facebook.... I sent all her stuff that was lying at home, back to her.. I moved out of the house we were living in, and moved into a nicer, but smaller place... I have been living in my new place for 4 months.. There is nothing I see there that connects me to her...

 

Just like you, down the 6 - 7 month mark I did make an attempt to reconcile.. But realized that it was pointless... 8 months is a long time and we had grown apart. There is nothing in her that I like anymore... let alone love... We are different people and I see her for what she is..

 

When you are in a serious relationship, you tend to see eachother from eachothers eyes....Many of the negatives get masked.. Which is why, when you break up, we tend to romanticize the relationship more... But after you begin healing, you will start to to see the person for who he/she really is... Normal people!!!!! Just like you and me!!! Not so special...

 

I don't know if you are there just yet, but you will get there soon enough.. Soon enough to not give a rats a$$ about who they are and what they are doing...

 

I am really happy for you... I will post sometime today on my situation and some thoughts that I have....

 

Cheers... I'm having a beer on you at the moment

 

Benga

[Jess...]

Wow your story is really inspirational! Thanks for sharing. I think moving out into a new house is the best thing you could have done. I recently redecorated my bedroom at home (still live with my parents) and changed it around, and now I see nothing that connects me to him. I feel so good every time I walk into my room! I walk in, I look around, and think "its all different, its fresh, a fresh start - just like what I'm doing"

 

I am starting to be at that point I think. The more I talked to him online, the more I saw someone that had turned into an idiot, someone I didn't really like...someone I wouldn't want to be with. But, every now and then, he'd say something that showed me that the sweet guy, the old "matt" was still in there. But the majority of our conversations went around in circles with him telling me how many parties he was going to, and how much alcohol was consumed, and all the stupid things that were done. And some were really stupid - like drink driving. The old "matt" would never ever had even considered getting in the car after he'd had anything to drink, and this made me realise that he has now indeed, turned into an idiot. Either that, or he was making it up thinking I would think he is cool. Either way, he still sounds like an idiot lol.

 

Look forward to reading your post.

 

I hope it was a good beer! lol