I haven't a clue..

[HardTolove]

Ok about three months ago me and my boyfriend broke up,,he kissed two other girls trying to get over me..Well it didnt work and we are back he says he regrets it but im not sure he does for the right reason and he always uses the excuse i was confused..It hurts and i feel like he has or is hiding things from me...I dont know what to think anymore..What hurts the most is i had a chance to kiss other ppl but i didnt..thats not how i wud get over someone. I have only kissed one person (my bf) he well im not sure..but he says he isnt a we are each others first..he was really shy before we met and i was as well but he is more out now i guess..Please help me with this im not sure how to feel about this or if i can trust him,,:splat:

[DN]

If yo were broken up he had the right to kiss whoever he liked - it was not cheating. If he had done that when you were together then you might have reason not to trust him but not now.

[JeckyllNHyde]

People mostly tend to try and get over someone by doing one of the 2:

1. Dating new people right away.

2. Being alone and trying to move on like that, and after that date.

 

When he kissed the other girls, you 2 where broken up= no commitment to each other anymore. I think you shouldn't make too big of a deal b/c he kissed other girls when you where broken up.

At least he was also honest about it. Whether he regrets doing it is another matter. But like i said, what you do while you are broken up shouldn't really matter unless it has lasting consequences. Kissing clearly doesn't.

[HardTolove]

well at first he wasnt honest he lied and then said yes then tryed to lie again..i know but it makes me with i wud have kissed another boy so i wud feel better but i know im very wrong for thinking that..but jumping into reltionships after a break up is bad its called a rebound relationship and thats what he was doing and it wudnt have worked with him and the other girls...it still hurts so bad..like he did cheat on me and for some reason in my heart its like he did..cuz i know if it would have been visversa we wouldnt be together now..i forgave him something he doesnt know how to do...

[JeckyllNHyde]

I understand what you mean about it being viceversa and then he would not forgive you.

Well, seems to me you feel like you are accepting what he did and are trying to forgive him. But in order for this relationship to work you truly need to do tht. And if you can't, things have no chance of going smoothly b/c you will always have that slight bit of resentment towards him b/c he hooked up with some other girls, which makes you feel like he cheated.

It all comes down to: are you willing to overlook the fact that he kissed the girls in order to continue making things work with him? Or will you just keep resenting him because you know he wouldn't do them same for you?

[DN]

You are projecting how you would act on to how he should have acted and you are also guessing about how he would have reacted had you done the same thing.

 

The bottom line is that he did nothing to be forgiven for. Even if it has been a rebound relationship that was not your business then and it isn't now.

 

If you want to break-up with him then you should do so. But make sure you do it for the right reasons and take responsibility for your decision. Don't put the blame on him for doing something that he had an absolute right to do or for cheating on you when he did not.

[CandyKins]

Personally, it's not a healthy mentality to kiss someone straight after a break-up. There are better alternatives with a healthy mentality.

 

Since you both are together you need to trust each other and have commitment, talk about it with him anc tell him how you feel.