Why no one flirts with me

[IronHorse]

I've been single for quiet some time now and I've noticed a really disturbing trend. It seems like no matter where I go or what I do no one ever flirts with me. I'm a decent enough fella and look a little better than average. Nothing out of the ordinary with my personality, I like to laugh but also know when to be serious...

 

So, what's the deal? Why is it women just look the other way?

[Weeblie]

Two questions:

 

1. Do you try to flirt with the ladies?

 

2. Are you sure they aren't flirting with you?

(sometimes women are very subtle and they might be giving you all kinds of hints)

[IronHorse]

Two questions:

 

1. Do you try to flirt with the ladies?

 

2. Are you sure they aren't flirting with you?

(sometimes women are very subtle and they might be giving you all kinds of hints)

 

1. Yes, (but not so much these days considering)

 

2. Yes, that is the one thing I'm absolutly sure of... They don't look my way or even stand anywhere close enough to me so even if I was to attempt to start a conversation I couldn't without yelling accross a room.

[Llon]

Mate, same with me. I am convinced that I will be single the rest of my life. I had great success witht the ladies in my younger days, but feel like a leper now-slmost to the point of giving up. Keep the faith though. I know what you are going through.

[IronHorse]

Mate, same with me. I am convinced that I will be single the rest of my life. I had great success witht the ladies in my younger days, but feel like a leper now-slmost to the point of giving up. Keep the faith though. I know what you are going through.

 

Well, I could understand some major super hottie having a we bit of an attitude of being too good for most. Those women at least get looks from those they might consider and those they wouldn't. The same can be said for a super handsome looking guy Too.

 

The part that puzzles me is that even the ones I wouldn't consider, ever try to catch me attention, it's as if I'm not even there.

 

Then after some time passes you get lumped into that damaging of all social situations. The one of outcast where if your not seen with or talking to a female then all other females view you as not worthy. If you mean nothing to no one then your not one they want to know.

[Weeblie]

Hm. I don't know what to tell you. Perhaps it's time that your game changes? That what used to work when you were younger will no longer work. Perhaps you need to visit new places? Maybe women are more cynical nowadays? I'm not sure.

 

But I think that if you want things to change, it might be a good idea to experiment and try to see what works for you.

[dtm123]

Then after some time passes you get lumped into that damaging of all social situations. The one of outcast where if your not seen with or talking to a female then all other females view you as not worthy. If you mean nothing to no one then your not one they want to know.

 

Pretty much true. If worried about looking like a loner, don't be one, talk to the guys around at least. Women will like that better than you standing against the wall or something, trying to make eyes.

[CluelessGuy321]

I've been single for quiet some time now and I've noticed a really disturbing trend. It seems like no matter where I go or what I do no one ever flirts with me. I'm a decent enough fella and look a little better than average. Nothing out of the ordinary with my personality, I like to laugh but also know when to be serious...

 

So, what's the deal? Why is it women just look the other way?

 

Ye ever start the flirt me boy? Or are ye expecting to sit there and have some wee lass come to yer table and sit on ye lap?

[Entropy Smith]

Then after some time passes you get lumped into that damaging of all social situations. The one of outcast where if your not seen with or talking to a female then all other females view you as not worthy. If you mean nothing to no one then your not one they want to know.

 

If this is what is running thru your mind when you are standing by yourself noone is going to approach you.

 

You have to build people a bridge to communicate with you. It has nothing to do with being outgoing or a good talker or anything like that. If you are relaxed (which your not) and humble but indifferent you will be able to pick and choose your spots as well as make people feel more comfortable communicating with you. Attracting people is an attitude/state of mind.

[Entropy Smith]

Pretty much true. If worried about looking like a loner, don't be one, talk to the guys around at least. Women will like that better than you standing against the wall or something, trying to make eyes.

You are incorrect. How you stand against the wall is everything...

[Altruist]

If this is what is running thru your mind when you are standing by yourself noone is going to approach you.

 

You have to build people a bridge to communicate with you. It has nothing to do with being outgoing or a good talker or anything like that. If you are relaxed (which your not) and humble but indifferent you will be able to pick and choose your spots as well as make people feel more comfortable communicating with you. Attracting people is an attitude/state of mind.

 

It's not always that in my opinion. Some people just have a hard time being accepted nomatter how much effort they put in. I had a friend who tried everything: going up to talk to girls, trying to engage them in friendly chitchat, doing considerate things for them and he looked relaxed as well but women were never interested in him.

[EvaGina]

I've been single for quiet some time now and I've noticed a really disturbing trend. It seems like no matter where I go or what I do no one ever flirts with me. I'm a decent enough fella and look a little better than average. Nothing out of the ordinary with my personality, I like to laugh but also know when to be serious...

 

So, what's the deal? Why is it women just look the other way?

 

pft

 

My brother get flirted with all the time, and never realises it

 

I have a mate who gets come onto HARD by girls, but he doesnt realise it and introduces them to his friends...

 

just keep ya eyes open

[dtm123]

You are incorrect. How you stand against the wall is everything...

 

It sounded to me like he was uncomfortable with being an outsider, being alone.

 

Personally, I am not uncomfortable with it, I would rather wander around by myself, or just stay still and look around, and figure out which woman (and generally there's only one), I'd actually care to talk to.

[IronHorse]

All very good advice and I don't really go around thinking that stuff all the time. I just had to say something here to convey the idea of it...

 

No, being a loner doesn't really bother me, nor hanging with a larger group, I can do both very well. It's just that in either situation I never get hit on by anyone (pretty bad that even the worst out there don't even try). I don't even get the occasional hint from someone saying she was asking who are you? Nothing!!!!

 

It's not like I'm desperate or anything, I know making friends is far more important. The rest of the stuff will take care of itself, it just strikes me as odd that no one is ever making an effort? and if not then why?

 

Trust me I know what a flirt looks like even the most subtle of hints and I never get flirted with...

[Entropy Smith]

It's not always that in my opinion. Some people just have a hard time being accepted nomatter how much effort they put in. I had a friend who tried everything: going up to talk to girls, trying to engage them in friendly chitchat, doing considerate things for them and he looked relaxed as well but women were never interested in him.

 

Everything you described is why your friend is alienated. The day he quits trying is the day things will BEGIN to change...

[wester]

I'll throw my two cents in for whatever its worth (probably not worth much). Do you drink at all when you go out? I mean, more than just one or two beers the whole night. I'm the worst when it comes to social situations, particularly talking to women, but when that buzz kicks in I can talk to anyone about anything. I wish i had the skills to do it sober, but i've long admitted to myself that any marginal "skill" I have is at the bottom of a bottle. So many average and below average looking guys out there do the same thing, and get women left and right. I had this dopey looking friend in college who always seemed to have a million stories about women and always seemed to have great success with them. When i expressed my admiration for his "game," another friend gave me a look and said, "Game? He's drunk when he meets these women, and so are they. Why else would they talk to him? He's not smart or attractive or anything."

 

So, maybe my advice is stupid, but it does work. I'm not saying become an alcoholic, but if it loosens you up and gives you that extra push you need to meet someone fun, then what's the harm? It's better than being alone and standing by the sidelines.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

the deal is you sound like your not flirting.........im not going too tell you too immediately go out and find a girl too flirt with i find that plain stupid........but i will tell you that when the oppourtunity comes YOU have too take it........when theres a girl and you all lock eyes or shes giving signals, or you all happen too talk its up too YOU too flrt back with her. If you dont chalk it as a loss.

 

Flirting is what im good at, i did it 4 straight years in high school with no break. and some years in college, flirting is just having fun, but you have too do it when the oppourtunity presents itself.......

 

as far as your personality thats all find and dandy but what sets you apart from everyone else, so what you like too laugh, and your a good guy, what can you do that sets you apart and attracts people? you can laugh all you please but it aint going too get you that far by itself.

 

and women look the other way beacuse thats what you choose too see. women look away from me all the time, but i only focus on the ones who look at me all the time

 

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW READY

[Dating Coach]

Hm. I don't know what to tell you. Perhaps it's time that your game changes? That what used to work when you were younger will no longer work. Perhaps you need to visit new places? Maybe women are more cynical nowadays? I'm not sure.

 

But I think that if you want things to change, it might be a good idea to experiment and try to see what works for you.

 

According to a lot of people on this board, he shouldn't change his "game", he should keep running his head into a brick wall.

 

I agree with you however. Something he is doing is sending out the wrong signals. To improve he will need to do some soul searching and take a hard look at himself to find out what that may be so he can more effectively show his value to the ladies.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

Whats your personality like?

 

1. Laid Back/quiet/introverted = sit back be who you are and wait for your oppourtunites, ohhhh and they will come believe me, its your personality trait.

 

2. outgoing/loud/extroverted = go find someone and go talk too them(i personally wouldnt do it but its not wrong) you go and make an oppourtunity, you go and meet the girl and flirt with her beacuse its your personality trait.

 

the key is

 

you have too be confident, and comfortable in yourself, be comfy in your own skin and be happy and love yourself.........

 

and if your a number one dont try and be a number 2 beacuse you think its the only way i can be a alpha male, thats dumb. there is nothing wrong with sitting back and waiting for someone too come flirt with you, its going too happen if you get comfy in yourself.

[wester]

Whats your personality like?

 

1. Laid Back/quiet/introverted = sit back be who you are and wait for your oppourtunites, ohhhh and they will come believe me, its your personality trait.

 

2. outgoing/loud/extroverted = go find someone and go talk too them(i personally wouldnt do it but its not wrong) you go and make an oppourtunity, you go and meet the girl and flirt with her beacuse its your personality trait.

 

the key is

 

you have too be confident, and comfortable in yourself, be comfy in your own skin and be happy and love yourself.........

 

and if your a number one dont try and be a number 2 beacuse you think its the only way i can be a alpha male, thats dumb. there is nothing wrong with sitting back and waiting for someone too come flirt with you, its going too happen if you get comfy in yourself.

 

But no woman will know if you're "comfy in yourself" unless you somehow put it out there, like by talking to them. And if you're really "comfy in yourself," then you should have no problem with going up to women and talking to them.

 

I've seen women go up to guys and give off mad vibes and just cling to them all night, but these are always the most attractive guys around. If you're average, you can't just sit there and wait for things to happen. I know, because I'm an average guy. I can't recall a woman ever initiating anything with me, it was always me that had to make the effort.

 

Believe me, get to know good ol' Jack Daniels. He'll make you feel real "comfy," at least comfortable enough to approach a couple of women and say a few words. Taking the initiative sucks, but if you're a guy its what you have to do most of the time.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

we all different, different personalities different belifs none of us are wrong.........you may have too approach women and speak.........someone else may not have too........

 

just please dont be like i was in high school passing up girls beacuse i had low self esteem

 

i could kick myself in my own rear for not taking my chances

[boo121]

I've been single for quiet some time now and I've noticed a really disturbing trend. It seems like no matter where I go or what I do no one ever flirts with me. I'm a decent enough fella and look a little better than average. Nothing out of the ordinary with my personality, I like to laugh but also know when to be serious...

 

So, what's the deal? Why is it women just look the other way?

 

Talk to them!

[IronHorse]

I don't have low self esteem... I know I'm perfectly okay, I realised that when I learn to accept the fact there was nothing I could do about it, that none of it was my fault... Some people I suppose are just not meant to be sought after? Sad I know but it's natures way of weeding out the undiserables?

 

So, despite being above average in looks and having a pleasing pesonality none of that leads to success. Maybe they think I'm not worth flirting with? Maybe they think something else better will walk through the door? What ever the true reason is all I know for sure is the ladies do not ever flirt with me...

 

Even when I used to try flirting they would turn away... So, yes it really sucks when you never get flirted with and your own flirts go ignored... It really makes you question yourself?

[ghost69]

make your own moves if you aren't getting any put on you. i can't sum this up better. put forth what you want to get.

[dtm123]

Even when I used to try flirting they would turn away... So, yes it really sucks when you never get flirted with and your own flirts go ignored... It really makes you question yourself?

 

Maybe they are sensing your desperation???