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He wont accept it.


tootsey

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I have told my partner I no longer love him, but he is not willing to accept this. How do i get it through to him. He had an affair which ended 3 years ago, and which lasted 3 years. I took him back but now no the love and trust is gone. I still care about him, but have no love for him. He insists on keeping trying, I think I feel pity for him more than anything else. I dont want to hurt him, but our relationship is dead as far as Im concerned. I cannot bear him near me, touching me. How do i get through to him???????????

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Hi,

 

I'm sorry that this happened to you. You don't tell us too many details. So, I have some questions for you. Are you married to your partner? Kids? HOw did you find out about the affair? I ask because it went on for a long time. Did he explain why he had this relationship? There is no excuse for his betrayal. I am wondering, however, what was happening in your relp around this time? Have you tried relp counseling?

 

Ultimately, you have to want to keep trying to make this relp work. So, perhaps you do need to move out and start your life over again. Just be sure that this is what you really want: to end things forever.

 

Hope this helps.

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Damn. That's hard. I would still say the same - that you have to move out, but you're right, no contact doesn't sound suitable in this situation. I would say, don't negotiate with him. If he starts talking like you're still together or begs you to come back, just state the same thing over and over. If you retain your resolve, he will accept it one day.

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No we arnt married and I moved out after I found out about the affair. He was married before, and had an affair also. History is repeating itself. My post in Abuse and Violence, although some time ago now, will give more details. I have been with him for 7 years. I want this to end, but to remain friends for our childs sake.

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He says he loves me and has always done. But other woman broke off the affair, and on the day it ended, he came home from work in tears. He admitted he never thought she would end it with him, and thought they were ok together. Affair started when i was 3 months pregnant. He has just got my name tattoed accross his arm. I feel trapped.

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He says he loves me and has always done. But other woman broke off the affair, and on the day it ended, he came home from work in tears. He admitted he never thought she would end it with him, and thought they were ok together. Affair started when i was 3 months pregnant. He has just got my name tattoed accross his arm. I feel trapped.

 

Please don't pay attention to the tattoo. It feels like he's trying to use that to manipulate you into staying. How can he say he loves you when he's been having an affair? It's not like he ended it, but the other woman did! You're doing the right thing, don't let him pull you back in!

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I have told my partner I no longer love him, but he is not willing to accept this. How do i get it through to him. He had an affair which ended 3 years ago, and which lasted 3 years. I took him back but now no the love and trust is gone. I still care about him, but have no love for him. He insists on keeping trying, I think I feel pity for him more than anything else. I dont want to hurt him, but our relationship is dead as far as Im concerned. I cannot bear him near me, touching me. How do i get through to him???????????

 

 

Move out, stop talking to him, and possibly put it in writing. He'll probably try to defend himself, to which you'll have to ignore anything he says. But at least it's out there:

 

"I no longer trust you. I no longer love you. I need to move on."

 

You were wronged, and you have a complete right to drop this guy. He lost his chance. You shouldn't waste any more of your sanity or youth on him. You'll only be hurting yourself in the end.

 

 

Edit: Yeah, the tattoo is a manipulation tactic.

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If you have been a great mother to your son, you'll still be a great mother whether you are with this man or not. So don't let him emotionally blackmail you into staying.

 

Move out to a family or friends, stay strong, tell him what's what and only communicate when you need to i.e. over dealing with your son.

 

Stay strong! Let NO man trap you or take away your freedom.

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