Need some advice...

[ftsmithguy2007]

I have come to a point in my life where I am a bit confused and have questions that are unanswered. I will be as brief as I can.

 

Almost a year ago I became friends with a married female that I worked with one night a week. She began telling me things that were happening in her marriage which were of an abusive nature. I had previously been active in investigating domestic abuse for a local police department for three years. I had seen victim after victim and their stories always pretty much led to the same story line time after time. I was never sure if I had made a positive impact in their lives or not. As my friend began to tell me all these things I could see the patterns I had seen time and time again. She would break down and cry and it would turn me inside out. She made me promise not to say anything until she could find the courage to leave. This lasted about four months before she left. During this four month period we did become more involved than what we should have. We did fall in love and she became dependant on my help. I guess I knew better than to go past the friend stage but my heart truly opened up to her. After leaving they did divorce. We did things occasionally and she talked of how she wanted to marry me, take trips, and etc. I guess I was a bit blinded by everything I wanted to hear but I was happy. I was always there for her and there was not a day went by that I did not tell her and show her what she meant to me. She seemed to be doing so well and then one night she told me she could never talk to me again. She told me that she was going back to him. For the next month and ten days I had almost no contact with her. Contact resumed when she sent me a text message asking if I missed her. We began to talk again and I learned that she had only gone back for a week and then had left again. We talked again for a while and I could not help but to tell her how I still felt about her and wanted to see her. This led to her not talking to me for an additional three weeks. Her grandmother passed away and she wanted me to know that she was thankful I had pushed her into going to see her before that. She has now promised that she will never quit talking to me again. I have always believed in God and Jesus Christ is my saviour. I have prayed more in recent weeks than ever before. Mainly to just bring me peace and to let me sleep at night. Even after all that has happened I still love her very deeply. I have not been as honest or faithful to any woman in my life as I have with her. She is a wonderful person that is suffering the after effects of abuse and divorce. I promised her a long time ago that I would always be there for her and I will. I have read articles that say dump her, they say remain vigilant, they say flaunt another woman in front of her, you name it there is a lot of advice out there. My heart tells me to be patient and occasionally let her know that I am there and how I feel. My parents both have bad health problems and I worry about that. I switched jobs in June and that has added to my stress as well. I would appreciate any feedback. Thank you

[Lana0120]

What I worry about is that if she went back to him once, who is to say that she won't do it again? I don't want you to get your heart broken and I think there's a strong possibility that she may to do that to you.

[ftsmithguy2007]

Yes I realize there is a very good chance that my heart will get broken. She tells me that she needs to heal and then she will give me a chance. Should I not be patient?

[Lana0120]

My concern is that she may come back to you, feeling that she is ready, and then change her mind. I know that would be her choice, but can you stand living in a kind of limbo?