I'm 15, he's 21. Should I give up?

[antinomian]

I have to admit the whole age of consent is a little weird. Say he's 18 and she's 17 for another couple of months, thats still illegal right? What happened to Juliette can still be a happy wife at the age of 12? Okay okay okay, lets not have that I agree but... for christs sake the only person who actually knows these two in real life said that they were the cutest thing since the tellytubbies, the guy himself came on here and said he thinks she should date someone in her high school. Get it through your thick skulls dummies, HE'S NOT A PERV. She likes him too you know, you remember that part? Is she a perv too?

 

It's Wolla and Dracula, come on, they don't make hot steamy love in the girls changing room they make bad movies, often acted in by Johnny Depp. They're cute kids who like each other when maybe they shouldn't, like Romeo and Juliette just not 12 years old anymore. Thats an improvement there isn't it? Someone should be a little nicer to them.

 

Time will show the critics if they were right or wrong. In the meantime, don't make hot steamy love in the girls changing room (keep to the bad movies). And also be careful of people like most of the ones who responded on this here forum. Even if your not having sex it still could look really bad. I bet having to insist that your not having sex could get really tedious really fast.

 

I want to hear what happens though. Keep us updated.

[The Flying Dracula Hair]

Thanks for shootin' down some hate LLW, and thanks for the reality check Antinomian - you're some real swell dudes!

 

So, update: Yeah, we've been dating a little over two weeks now, the kind of dating where I don't talk to her about dating other guys or whether what we are doing is 'correct'. Before we became a two, I talked to her mother and got the OK, and we've been together in front of her father with no fuss from him. In fact, no one seems to care all that much. My parents know, my friends know, a bunch of strangers know, and even the latter-most are all for it (or at least, those who aren't "for it" aren't against it in the Stranger Pile).

And now that we exist together in harmony with our environment, all my confusion about age gap unions mixed in my feelings for Wolla seem to have just been filtered away. Initially I was very resistant about her talk of trying it out being a good idea, and y'know what? I didn't give her enough credit, she was totally right. I thought it was all little people talk! Pfoo!

 

Oh, and it's worth mentioning I think a lot of people here find the terms "relationship" and "SEXSEXSEX" too exchangeable. Just because we desire a to be a Guy & Lady doesn't mean that foremost on our To Do list is gain carnal knowledge of each other.

 

Sex is not in our near future, but if we play our cards right, a lot more happiness is.

 

(Woo! How's that for a post ending? Thank you, thank you - this is Mr. Boyfriend signing off

And you know, we can still have a lot of legal physical intimacy! Sex isn't Doom)

[beauty21]

Wow nice stereotyping and ignorant assuming you seem to be doing.

 

Yeah, this is coming from the same guy that is "in love" with a 13 year old.

[The Flying Dracula Hair]

Yeah, this is coming from the same guy that is "in love" with a 13 year old.

 

Parrying with a useless ad hominem argument doesn't help your case. Though "case" is kind of a big term to use for your baseless attack on me.

 

Please, the people who post here come for advice, usually in a desperate situation. Members here who say ignorant things and give people thoughtless advice are in a position to do a lot of harm in the right situation. Don't disguise your two cents or immediate opinion as real and helpful advice.

You're in a position to do good, B-21, take it seriously.

[JadedStar]

Alright, as you know, I'm 15. He's 21. He already knows I like him, and he says he "won't go there" first and foremost, because of the age difference. I asked him to try it out, but he won't.

I guess what I'm looking for is advice. I already know that we are in practically different worlds, b/c of our ages, but he is kind of immature in some ways, and if we were to go out, I think it would be really great for the both of us.

So, people, advice please?

And yes, I know it would be illegal, but only if there was sex involved, and there won't, I'll probably wait until I come of age.

 

 

Listen to him. He is wanting to do the right thing. Please pursue someone else.

[JadedStar]

He knows you like him.

He said "Sorry, it's not going to happen".

 

Yes. You give up. No means No.

 

There are others who you would have a real chance with, more appropriate for your age.

 

Personally, I'm glad this guy had the sense to say no to you. Yay! He has some brains and decency about him, so respect that and move on.

 

I like this post. NO MEANS NO even when it is the guy saying no.

 

I am not sure why you are trying to push it since he has already said he is not going there. Do not coerce him into this...what will happen if you succeed is he will be the one landed into trouble even when he is trying to steer clear of this situation.

[The Flying Dracula Hair]

Thank you JadedStar, I believe that that's some sound advice - but in a different situation. For one thing: The guy isn't saying no anymore!

Mwagagaga! I have caught you not reading the thread! Thank you for your concern of my girlfriend though, I honestly do appreciate that.

 

Here I am again, announcing that we have, in fact, progressed! All interpretive wrong has been done. And sex is not: the issue.

 

Sat in on a session with her therapist (THERAPIST) today, who has some concerns, but is ultimately another stranger in support of an "us" if things are taken slowly.

Or, that's what I me personally gathered from our talk about it, at the very least, she's a not-against.

[JadedStar]

You are correct. I only answered the first post.

 

I guess I could read all pages of the thread but wondering why you didn't stick wtih your first noble instinct.

[JadedStar]

I'm bowing out of this thread. read thru it and some serious immaturity or game playing going on.

 

Sounds like you guys have it all figured out. good luck. Funny how the OP never came back to "talk" yet the guy is here speaking.

 

Makes ya wonder.

[The Flying Dracula Hair]

What, do I have her stuffed in my ice chest or something? Makes you wonder what? Gameplaying what?

 

What's with this closing remarks nonsense? Look, fella, I wasn't ragging on you before but here I go now: You have something to ask, just ask. Something to say, say it plainly and be open for discourse. Out of the window with your "wish you well but err wish you didn't STOPBEINGADECENTHUMANBEINGBYE"

 

I imagine the big I Z isn't here because she stopped needing advice for a situation that took a sharp turn towards a better place. Last time I know she checked the site was when I told her I responded to someone's request for an Update and she was curious to see how I told it. I'm sure she's confident that I can defend myself against the internet okay - but if anyone here has a real honest question for her that'll help you and your understanding of these kinds of situations I'll gladly let her know about it*, same goes for me (though being the bigger forum ho x 10, I'm more likely to respond quicker/at all).

 

 

 

*OH I get it, am I supposed to be both IZ and me? Did I get it right?

[beauty21]

Members here who say ignorant things and give people thoughtless advice are in a position to do a lot of harm in the right situation. Don't disguise your two cents or immediate opinion as real and helpful advice.

You're in a position to do good, B-21, take it seriously.

 

Take yourself seriously, dude. You and I both know you are no virgin. You are 21, this girl is 15 you know damn well you are asking for trouble. What the hell can you two possible have in common? You don't need this forum to confirm that you are making a big mistake. Or me. All I can say is, we'll know where to find you.

[The Flying Dracula Hair]

You know what B-12, I'm sorry. Even having toned it down I shouldn't have "yelled" at you like that. It's patronizing.

 

 

As it turns out, we do have loads in common.

And really, I'm a virgin. It's not a bargaining chip, it's just a fact about me. Let's say in a fictional world, that my penis has known the inside of a vagina, what then? Does that make the temptation of sex overpowering? It makes sense to me that people who haven't had sex are hungrier for it, but honestly, I don't know how it works. I'm not educated about that sort of thing.

Virgin or not, you're not going to find me in any jail, if that's what you meant.

 

EDIT: Is "inside of a vagina" redundant?

[Bunney]

hahaha thumps up The Flying Dracula Hair, the way you write your posts is too pleasant

 

But really, I got so annoyed reading through the posts from the other people on here. Sure, when you hear 21 and 15, the first thing you think is, "damn, that gap is way too huge, they can't POSSIBLY have anything in common".

 

But it's not like that!

 

Of course, most 15 year old girls are immature and you won't consider them capable of having a relationship. But let me tell ya, when I was 15 I actually DID have a 21 year old boyfriend (not kidding). We did not have sex. But we did love eachother and nobody who saw us together would think we didn't fit together, simply because when I was 15 I acted and looked like an adult.

 

At age 15 I could NEVER have had anything with a guy my age cause they were just too immature! You know how guys are at that age. Even most 16 and 17 year olds are still really immature.

 

So, please stop generalizing and stereotyping... I get really sick reading HE IS A PERV or HE IS NO VIRGIN HE'S LYING or WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE IN COMMON WITH HIM. You do not know them personally so, seriously, stop assuming stuff like that. PLEASE.

 

..

[michaelyan]

Parrying with a useless ad hominem argument doesn't help your case. Though "case" is kind of a big term to use for your baseless attack on me.

 

Please, the people who post here come for advice, usually in a desperate situation. Members here who say ignorant things and give people thoughtless advice are in a position to do a lot of harm in the right situation. Don't disguise your two cents or immediate opinion as real and helpful advice.

You're in a position to do good, B-21, take it seriously.

[avman]

This post closed due to flaming