I'm 15, he's 21. Should I give up?

[Isabellawolla]

Alright, as you know, I'm 15. He's 21. He already knows I like him, and he says he "won't go there" first and foremost, because of the age difference. I asked him to try it out, but he won't.

I guess what I'm looking for is advice. I already know that we are in practically different worlds, b/c of our ages, but he is kind of immature in some ways, and if we were to go out, I think it would be really great for the both of us.

So, people, advice please?

And yes, I know it would be illegal, but only if there was sex involved, and there won't, I'll probably wait until I come of age.

[Batya33]

I was in the exact situation as you - more than 25 years ago. I convinced him to date me. I ended up in over my head very quickly as he got attached almost immediately and I was too young to be able to deal with that situation. I only dated him for a month and luckily I was scheduled to go on a religious retreat after that, where I came to my senses. Had I stayed with him I likely would have had sex at way too young an age, gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd (he was immature too and his friends did drugs and petty crimes, etc) and all of that might have had horrible effects on my future. I say, stay away.

[RayKay]

Well, not sure where you are, but there are likely good reasons for "not going there" - meaning he could be thrown in jail for statutory rape, indecency with a minor, and so forth.

 

Nothing really great about that. Add in the influence factor Batya spoke of above, and the decisions that can affect you forever, and more reasons it is not "really great" for either of you.

 

Honestly, even if he is "immature" there is a LOAD of difference between 21 and 15. When you are 21, I bet you will wonder how the heck someone 21 could have any interest in someone 15 (other than for sex).

 

 

It is okay to have a crush, but don't take it further than that.

[itsallgrand]

He knows you like him.

He said "Sorry, it's not going to happen".

 

Yes. You give up. No means No.

 

There are others who you would have a real chance with, more appropriate for your age.

 

Personally, I'm glad this guy had the sense to say no to you. Yay! He has some brains and decency about him, so respect that and move on.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Yea I agree with all the other posters. It's illegal to have sex someone under the age of 16 where I come from.

He also knows that he would only be with you for sex probably. A 15 year old and 21 year old are in completely different worlds, yet have a few thing in common. I guess thats whats making you think it could work.

Leave him alone. No means no... He made the right choice for you both.

[GHdancer]

personally i think that 6 years is alittle 2 much of an age gap but then again every person is different.

And you must do what you feel right in ur own mind and heart.

If he agrees 2 give it ago then fab gd for you but make sure u are feeling happy thourout and not pressured into anythink.

And make sure the relationship is on ur terms as evry relationship shud b on the womans terms lol just joking.

But as long as ur happ what are numbers.

[Shin kensen]

Alright, as you know, I'm 15. He's 21. He already knows I like him, and he says he "won't go there" first and foremost, because of the age difference. I asked him to try it out, but he won't.

I guess what I'm looking for is advice. I already know that we are in practically different worlds, b/c of our ages, but he is kind of immature in some ways, and if we were to go out, I think it would be really great for the both of us.

So, people, advice please?

And yes, I know it would be illegal, but only if there was sex involved, and there won't, I'll probably wait until I come of age.

 

He's scared of what his friends would think if he does like you. He'll get bullied for it.

[rootcause43]

Also, the difference between 15-21 is just too great. I say walk away from this.

 

At a minimum, wait until you come of age. The temptation for both of you is too great for you to play with fire until then.

[cleo_gurl]

I think you should put it in the back of your mind till you are a little older and then give him a call. You can still be friends but it sounds like he has made up his mind. The age difference wouldn't be a problem if you were older but as of rt now its illegal.

[Lana0120]

How long is it before you turn 16? If he doesn't want to go out with you, you just have to accept it. I am concerned by the fact that you say you keep asking him and he says no. What if one day his resolve weakens and then you sleep together and someone finds out about it? He could get in BIG trouble. I think remaining friends until you are a bit older would be the best thing and approach the subject of going out again if you think that he likes you that way.

[mirandadawn]

Hey,

I think if he's not comfy with the situation yes you should give up...he's probably in a totally different point in his life...trust me. my boyfriend and I just bought a house together, we are both in our 20s but there is an age gap of 9 years. I think at your age even a gap of more then 3 years is alot to take in and adjust to. were both in our 20s and I find it hard sometimes all his firends are older, married have kids...most of mine are too but well (engaged) But they don't have grey hair yet! lol . point is i think you'd probably be in over your head think he can drink and go to bars...you can't..you think he'll actually sit at home on a friday or sat night...how will you feel when he's out with his buds? think what kind of impact it would take on his social life, and yours.

and hun if you have to force him into it whats the point... I'd never waist time and effort on someone who doesn't want to be with me no mater the situation... you can find someone who'll want to be with you no matter what the situation thats the good stuff!

[ostego]

my sister started going out with a 21 (at the time) year old when she was 14.

 

Now shes going on 18 and theyre still together!

 

I call her a skank-hoe occasionally, but thats just for fun.

 

ANYWAY, i think this guy may be worried about the whole 15 is underage thing, as just getting involved in anything could lead to something else, etc.

 

Maybe its best you wait till youre 16, and stay close to him in the meantime. That way also, if u have a brother like me, you'll run less of a risk of being called a skank hoe

 

But relationships with age gaps like that at you're age obviously can work out well and lasting if handled maturely

[Shin kensen]

my sister started going out with a 21 (at the time) year old when she was 14.

 

Now shes going on 18 and theyre still together!

 

I call her a skank-hoe occasionally, but thats just for fun.

 

ANYWAY, i think this guy may be worried about the whole 15 is underage thing, as just getting involved in anything could lead to something else, etc.

 

Maybe its best you wait till youre 16, and stay close to him in the meantime. That way also, if u have a brother like me, you'll run less of a risk of being called a skank hoe

 

But relationships with age gaps like that at you're age obviously can work out well and lasting if handled maturely

 

Christ, that's insane. My sister is 14 at the moment, if she started going out with anyone older than her age group, they'd get a good talking to, possibly involving less talking more threatening.

[CluelessGuy321]

Alright, as you know, I'm 15. He's 21. He already knows I like him, and he says he "won't go there" first and foremost, because of the age difference. I asked him to try it out, but he won't.

I guess what I'm looking for is advice. I already know that we are in practically different worlds, b/c of our ages, but he is kind of immature in some ways, and if we were to go out, I think it would be really great for the both of us.

So, people, advice please?

And yes, I know it would be illegal, but only if there was sex involved, and there won't, I'll probably wait until I come of age.

 

Not that big of an age gap, but you're at an age where you shouldn't yet, and he's at an age where....we'll........he could get 5 to 10 in the state penn.

 

 

 

 

 

SANTA ANA, Calif. (Crime Library) A 29-year-old man pleaded guilty Friday to having sex with an underage girl who later committed suicide when he broke up with her.

[Isabellawolla]

I say again, we wouldn't have sex, so stop posting all of the statutory rape things and whatnot, he's a virgin too, and if we were to get into a relationship that wouldn't be what he was looking for, he's not that guy. Otherwise, all of you have been very helpful, thank you, even though some of it wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear, it's nice for me to see both sides of this issue and to understand them both. Anyways, I'm probably going to give up with it, if he keeps saying no, the message has got to get accross to me sometime, yeah?

[Batya33]

Sounds like you are into him mostly because he is older and a challenge, as opposed to being interested in him as a person.

[The Flying Dracula Hair]

Ouch!

 

Hey guys! Well, I guess that my mind isn't so made up, as I told her not so long ago that I too have "those feelings"(!) 'He' is me, I asked Isabellawolla if it was okay for me to post here so here I is. I told her last night and we did a cuddle thing - AIEEE!

It was horrible. It's true, I'm out to impregnate her with my demon seed to do my part in insuring the survival of my disgusting but ancient species.

 

Anyway, now that that's off my chest, I have to admit that I am not entirely comfy with the situation, as in, what sort of badness lies ahead? The rape-jail situation isn't so much a worry because its what strikes me as a fair price to pay for a mistake I don't intend on making ...if they let me have stuff. I don't know what indecency with a minor is, but more than that what's the So Forth? Hit me up with some morality issues here.

 

I like Wolla, it's true. A lot. BUT I still think it's a good idea for her to dip her hand in the high school dating pool. I can't help feel like I'm interrupting some sort of natural progression in her life. Thoughts?

 

And way to retroactively rub it in by saying how great I am for making the decision that never held. Bah!

[KTISINCREDIBLE]

HOLYMYGODDOYOUGUYSKNOWHOWCUTEYOUARE.

completely serious, uh, wolla and dracula (am I allowed to call you by your real names?)

yeah, i know both of these kiddies.

they make me smile

I HOPE THEY RECOGNISE ME BY MY USERNAMEAMABOB.

 

..and

uh

advice?

don't have sex O_o

 

..

-KT

[beauty21]

HOLYMYGODDOYOUGUYSKNOWHOWCUTEYOUARE.

completely serious, uh, wolla and dracula (am I allowed to call you by your real names?)

yeah, i know both of these kiddies.

they make me smile

I HOPE THEY RECOGNISE ME BY MY USERNAMEAMABOB.

 

..and

uh

advice?

don't have sex O_o

 

 

What the hell is this supposed to mean?

[beauty21]

Anyway, NO.

Stay away from older guys. He is telling you he is a virgin but he is lying.

[glegend]

I say just give it up. At least now that you underage. He's 6 years older then you. I think its only acceptable if you were 21 and he was 28. It still a bit a big gap but defiantly more respectable.

My friend was in the situation when he was about 16. He was dating a girl who was 22 years old. Of course it did have some perks, he did get into like bars and would buy him alcohol but where did it get him in the end? She broke up with him to go out with another guy who was her age who my friend knew as well. A few months went by and she married the other guy and basically my friend learned a lesson. Don't really bother just let it be, if it comes to reality that you are dating the person don't get really attached and think it will be anything more.

[Love Like Winter]

Anyway, NO.

Stay away from older guys. He is telling you he is a virgin but he is lying.

 

Wow nice stereotyping and ignorant assuming you seem to be doing.

[HappyAsALark]

I actually respect this guy for not going there.

You are a little bit too young to be in a type of a relationship that most 21 year old guys expect. Why not look around a little bit more and find someone closer to your age that you go to school with maybe?

[glegend]

I agree with ItsMyLife99 why not look for guy in your school maybe in a class of yours

[Fruitfull1]

He's 21? U are 15? He's so not even trying to be in a relationship...he's a perv and I advise u to stay away from him and he from you before he goes to jail...if he REALLY loves you he will wait till you are of LEGAL age....If you really love him....whats the rush?