Still feeling low do you think it could be....

[bubblyblonde11]

Because I have had to face a friend on Thurs night that I haden't seen since my break up and had to chat about it.

 

Then Friday night saw a good friend on mine and talked for a brief while about the ex and what happened leading up to the split.

 

Last night I went to my friend how lives a fair bit away and had to drive past his junction on the motorway, sounds daft I know but hate driving past it.

 

Then today I am going to a BBQ at a friends for a housewarming the last time I saw this lot was in Feb and I was totally loved up, although I think some of the group that will be there know probably some won't and I'm gonna have to face questions.

 

Being a natural born worrier anyway I have been anxious before all of the above events and its been making me feel down.

 

So my point it has all been bought to the fore front of my mind, the details of the split, thinking about him, dreams have started again. Doing my head in just want to bury the past.

 

This sucks as should be looking forward to these events.

[Batya33]

You do not have to face questions. If you are asked a question say "thanks for asking, did you need a drink? I'm going to go get one." or "thanks for asking, so where did you go on vacation this summer?" If someone is rude enough to ask if he broke up with you say "yes, he was having all these fantasies about sleeping with your[significant other, spouse, etc] and i just couldn't handle it."

[sandyv]

Oh Bubbly, its most defintely going to take some time to feel somewhat better. Take if from someone who knows the grief associated with this whole horrid process.

 

And people and their questions, you should just blow them off...

 

I'm not myself, and I won't be for some time.... I've accepted that.. I'm just carrying on... its all I can do...

 

You'll be ok, just do what makes you happy for now... there isn't truly anything that make me feel "terrific" right now.... but I'm waiting it out.... thats all we can do.

 

(((HUGS))))

 

Sandy

[bubblyblonde11]

I know I have been doing so well, I really have but just because of facing people that didn't know and having to drag it up again, awww my heads all over the place and feel so loney.

 

Although still don't want him back or want to contact him so thats a good thing.

 

Wish he was the same man I fell for at the beginning (but he made himself out to be the perfect man he really did) and not the one he really was.

 

God I just want to be happy in life.

[Clabs]

Hey Bubbly!

 

This is just one of those sucky times that sneak up and punch your gut - stir things in your head - make you muddled and make you down.

 

You have been doing fantastically - but you cannot deny these sucky times - they happen and that's that. You will come to a time where these sucky feelings will stop you - you will think about them - and sigh - and think of something else.

 

You can do this honey - just take it easy - look after you.

 

Mark

[Batya33]

It sounds like to you being happy is synonymous with having a boyfriend. That's going to make things a bit difficult because then you will again be vulnerable to putting someone on a pedestal and falling for them before you know much about them at all. Your ex boyfriend did what many people do- while he was getting to know you and wanted you to be smitten and thereforeeee available to him he hid sides of him that were unattractive. He didn't change, he just chose not to show you all of himself and even though part of you knew you didn't know him yet, the part of you that believes being in love is essential for you to be happy chose to ignore that you didn't really know the guy you were claiming to be in love with.

 

On the other hand, if you develop a sense of self, of self esteem, develop a fulfilling life without a man you will be less vulnerable to believing that someone is "perfect" before you really know him for several months over time. You also will be less vulnerable to a man you barely know talking about marriage. Sure, it can be flattering and sure it can end up being a long and happy marriage but if you are secure in yourself and not needy you will be able to enjoy the feeling while still having an objective perspective of "ok, that's cool - let's see how I feel about him in 6 months from now"

[sandyv]

I know I have been doing so well, I really have but just because of facing people that didn't know and having to drag it up again, awww my heads all over the place and feel so loney.

 

Although still don't want him back or want to contact him so thats a good thing.

 

Wish he was the same man I fell for at the beginning (but he made himself out to be the perfect man he really did) and not the one he really was.

 

God I just want to be happy in life.

 

 

I hear ya Bubbly.... oh yes, my ex bf... well he loves me you know? What a joke... I don't need his kind of love.... and you know you can do better yourself ... The pain takes awhile to go away....

 

But having said the above, we can't feel better immediately... I wish we could, it just isn't possible... hang in... we will get better together ok?

[Never_the_same]

hey bubbly, im sorry that your feeling kinda low today. i guess its just natural to be upset since these events do bring back happy memories of the ex. It hurts even more because we realize that they are not the same person they were a few months before.

 

just try to enjoy the company of your friends and if they ask about the ex, i usually answer politely ' oh, it didnt work out between the two of us, lets just not talk about him and just enjoy the rest of the day'. i'm sure your friends will understand.

 

about being happy, we all want that. i sure am longing for that right now. we just need to be positive about things and that everything will be better, and i believe they will be.

 

it just takes time.

 

>>

[bubblyblonde11]

Well I got through, I was asked and I told them briefly. They were sweet about it as I have nice friends, luckily.

 

I just want now to get back to putting the thoughts to the back of my mind, easier said than done but I did it before so I am sure I can get past this low patch.

 

Funny how the weekend penned out, seeing three lots of people that didn't know the whole story. Probably didn't do myself any favours but didn't think about it when I made the plans!! Hey hum.

 

Lets see if the wine I'm about to drink helps!!