tips for a virgin possibly having sex

[MikeyD]

Ok, im 19, and a virgin, and yes some may say that its not a big deal or w/e but i want to know wat r some tips to being good and not having to deal with the "first time curse". The girl that i can possibly have sex with is a very good friend of mine and we've had a history before and she is also a virgin but i want it to be real good for her (well good for the first time, not painful/as painful as a girl's first time can be). So like wat are some tips/positions for an unexperienced man to make it feel that much better for her.

 

PS. Is it true that whoever a girl loses her virginity to, she gets all clingy and all that stuff, cuz that'd be nice, for the both of us to get some "practice" for the future.

[Siriana]

 

PS. Is it true that whoever a girl loses her virginity to, she gets all clingy and all that stuff, cuz that'd be nice, for the both of us to get some "practice" for the future.

 

Just few questions, my advice depends on the answers:

Are you going to have sex just for the sake of practice?

Are you sure she maybe doesn't want you to be with her?

Maybe she's into you?

Are you into her?

[barbielovesmac]

Use a condom

[Lana0120]

If she's into you wait for someone else otherwise when you dump her she'll tell all your friends how insensitive you are....

[tiredofvampires]

I wasn't "clingy" with my first guy any more than I was with every other subsequent bf. He was a hit and run, which really was an emotional tear for me as much as a hymenal one. He left me with a bruised and sore vulva and feeling rejected. This wasn't so much clingy as it was just hurt as anyone would be under the circumstances. Had he stuck around as my bf (which I thought he would), that is the same as I have felt after every man I have been with (which isn't many, and all were with serious intent.)

 

Sounds like you aren't going to outright reject her after this, but just "using eachother for practice" is not really a good idea if one party feels more strongly than the other beyond friendship. If you are both agreed that an actual relationship is not in the cards, I don't see the harm in this, but it's risky. I don't think you should be wanting "clingy" under ANY circumstances, period. Do you want the woman who becomes this vulnerable physically (and for most women, emotionally) to become needy just so you can "practice"? Needy and clingy are not good, whether it is your first time or your 200th (egads).

 

You should be saving yourself for a woman you have mutual feelings of love, lust and passion for, ideally. A deep mutual friendship is not a bad thing at all (could be much worse -- a drunken fling) to start with, (and I do think that's how a romantic relationship should be) but I do worry about your reference to her becoming "clingy" which would mean an imbalance.

 

A girl's first time is definitely one she will remember, it will stand out, for better or worse, for the rest of her life. At least you are concerned about making it less painful. Main thing is, don't focus on all kinds of stunts and positions, just focus on going slowly, being gentle, asking her how she's doing, and connecting with her vulnerability (I think all girls wonder it it's going to hurt, so there is tension.) Make sure she is as relaxed as she can be, and wet from foreplay, so that the arousal eases the penetration.

[Never_the_same]

my advice is that make sure that your first time will be with someone you really like and have genuine feelings with so that you wouldnt feel guilty of losing it for nothing.

 

as for your question about being clingy, my answer is no. but i definitely didnt forget the guy with whom i lose my virginity with so make sure that your first is special. good luck!

[cleo_gurl]

Use a condom and some kind of lubrication. Don't jump into all of these diff positions that you have never done. Keep it simple and start slow working up the speed.

[CharLit]

Re. your PS: Personally, I wanted my first time to be with someone I loved and who loved me, and who I saw a long future with. That is an individual choice and some people don't place much important on it, but firstly make sure you are very clear that doing this with your friend is what you really want. Then sit down and talk to her about both your expectations: are you both looking for a friends-with-benefits situation, or does one of you want more, expect a relationship perhaps? Could it damage or change your friendship? Be absolutely clear about what you both expect, you do NOT want to end up with one of you hurt and disappointed.

 

Secondly, if you do go ahead with it, or at whatever point in the future you start having sex, my general pointers would be:

 

- USE PROTECTION

 

- both of you should not be afraid to communicate about this, to say what feels good and what does not: your partner is not telepathic and can not know what feels good to you as this varies per person.

 

- do not expect perfection. Even with years of experience it is not like in the movies, real sex is squelchy and messy, and occasionally someone will accidentally poke the other in the eye Don't worry about all that, it's all part of the fun

 

- in general: be gentle. Some people like it rougher than others, but gentle is a good starting point, having sensitive areas rubbed/squeezed/licked too hard can be REALLY painful. If you & she want the other to do something a little harder, you can say so.

 

- She needs to be REALLY turned on and relaxed before you think of penetration, so LOADS of foreplay. This will make it as painless as possible. You say you have 'history'. I do not know how much history, but I would not jump straight to sex. Spend time making out, doing other sexual things (sensual massages, stimulating each other with your hands and mouths) over a period of time. Once you get good at all that, the step to sex will be a smaller one and the sex itself will be more enjoyable for you both.

 

- for first time positions, her on top might be good because then she can control the speed & depth if it hurts her.

 

But really, before you go into anything else, determine what you both want and remember, this is not something you will be able to reverse.

[fmjosie]

From what I've been told (and experienced), guys usually can't cum their first time. They can perform though, and NO WOMAN would expect you to be an expert!!!! That's silly. Sex, especially your first time, is an experience for both of you, don't build it up too much.

 

I'd suggest missionary for sure, that might need to be your main 'bread & butter' for the first few rounds..... then the fun starts!

 

As for the clingy stuff, it depends on the girl. Usually you can tell if a girl is going to be clingy wayyyy before you have sex with her

 

Remember: sex is like pizza..... when it's good, it's good.... and when it's bad..... it's good!!!!

[MikeyD]

Just few questions, my advice depends on the answers:

Are you going to have sex just for the sake of practice?

Are you sure she maybe doesn't want you to be with her?

Maybe she's into you?

Are you into her?

 

 

well no its not just for the "sake of practice", since our history, there has been some sexual tension, and lately its hit its highest so we talked about it. We've talked about relationship and she doesnt want that and same thing for me, especially since she lives a state away (although the commute is like 15-20 min lol).

[p_fred]

my advice is that make sure that your first time will be with someone you really like and have genuine feelings with so that you wouldnt feel guilty of losing it for nothing.

as for your question about being clingy, my answer is no. but i definitely didnt forget the guy with whom i lose my virginity with so make sure that your first is special. good luck!

 

My advice would be to really make sure the feeling is mutual. I thought it was, she even asked me "Are you sure you want to do this?" looking back I wonder if she just played me. "I have been lots of guys firsts" she told me later. Great. Thanks for making me feel special. "I regret it" weeks later added icing to the cake.

 

Choose carefully, memories can be joyful or painful.

[benga]

If you both are ready for it... Then go for it....

 

A couple of things....

 

a) Use protection. Keep a couple of condoms

b) Guys, usually ejaculate really quickly the first time

c) Use a lube!! Very important..

d) The first 2 times will not be earth shattering, but it does get better over time...

e) Don't try innovative positions. Keep it simple and basic

f) Please, please indulge in foreplay with kissing. Make the girl feel special.

 

If its her first time as well, I am sure she is also equally anxious. Make her feel comfortable and don't rush things.....

 

 

All the best!

 

Cheers

Benga